Game of Chocolate
by Keirue
Summary: This series is based upon on-the-spot roleplays I had with my friend Tori, who also appears as a major character in this story. Prepare yourself for complete randomness, stereotypical rabid fangirls, and more. Contains MelloxTori scenes and also Matt.
1. Encounter

**A/N: **Welcome to the first chapter of this series! _Game of Chocolate_ is inspired by on-the-spot role-plays I have with my friend Victoria (Tori), who is also a character in this story. :D Please don't be offended by anything that happens, it's just harmless joke and fun. Any grammar/spelling fails in speech are done on purpose as an attempt to be funny.

**Warning:** Strange actions and decisions from the DN characters (but the way they speak should be pretty much in character, I hope), unrealistic and unexplainable situations, complete randomness, rapid fangirl attacks, swearing - including the F-word, but that's the strongest it gets.

By the way, I think this chapter sucks compared to the other ones, so don't be put off by it. ._.

* * *

"Holy crap, chocolate!" a random female teenager, who went by the name of Tori, exclaimed to the particles in the air. She eyed a single chocolate bar, sitting on the shelf of a chocolate store. As she reached over to get it, the hand of a certain blonde quickly shot past and grabbed it.

And yes, we all know who it was.

Paris Hilton.

Just kidding. It was Mello.

"…That looks yummy." Tori caught the chocoholic's attention with her statement, receiving a sharp glare.

"Mine."

"Come on, that was the last one!" she protested.

"I got it first." His lips curved upwards into a smug smirk. "Sucks for you."

"Y- Wait… YOU'RE MELLO!" One of Tori's hand automatically reached up to her mouth.

Mello narrowed his eyes warily. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Tori! Your biggest fan and worthy of being your girlfriend!"

The leather-panted teenager just gave her a blank stare in response. "...Yeah, whatever. The chocolate's still mine."

"…" Tori suddenly snatched the chocolate bar before running towards a random direction. "Hehehe."

"What the f-" Mello instinctively chased after his precious snack. "HEY!"

Then the girl's father appeared out of thin air before vanishing with a puff of smoke after yelling a message: "Tori, you're kicked out of the house just because!"

Tori stopped running and turned to face the teenager behind her. "…Mello, I'm living with you now. Yay!"

"Hell no."

"Sucks."

"Now give me my chocolate," Mello demanded, holding out his hand.

"…I will if you let me live with you."

"..."

"Guess not?"

"Thinking." Complicated thought processing ran through the teenage male's mind, which the author cannot be inclined to write down.

"Hehehe. I can bake. And I like working with chocolate."

"…Fine, but you'll sleep on the floor," the 'lion' ironically agreed obediently out of the desire for that particular chocolate bar. He snapped his fingers, "Now hand it over!"

"That was so girly…"

"I don't give a damn."

"YAY. I ALREADY SOMEHOW HAVE MY CLOTHES AT YOUR HOUSE," Tori declared, handing Mello the chocolate.

He took no notice of the illogic and unexplainable events happening due to, once again, the author's plain laziness. He only wanted the chocolate. "Victory!"

"…My name is Victoria, or Tori."

"I don't care." The chocoholic unwrapped the bar like a rabid squirrel before taking a bite. Mm, chocogasm.

"Sheesh. Bitter much?"

"Yeah, whatever you say. I'm going." Maybe he didn't want anyone to witness his unnatural obsession over chocolate.

"Wait, I have to follow y-"

A certain games-addict in a striped shirt appeared out of nowhere, with a large Cheshire cat grin stuck on his face. "Hey Mells, who's your new _girlfriend_?"

"Matt. She's not my girlfriend."

"TORI, I'M TORI!" the said girl yelled in the other teenager's face.

"I'M MATT."

"Just kidding, I actually don't care."

"…"

* * *

"I'm just gonna unpack in Matt's room!" Tori skipped into a room.

"NO WAAAYYYY!" Matt ran ahead, clearly reluctant to give away his room.

"Sucks."

"I have stuff in there!" Stripy-shirt objected, placing his hands on either sides of the door frame.

Tori simply ducked under and went in, dumping Matt's personal belongings onto the floor.

"Shit! That's my PlayStation!"

A muffled voice sounded from an indistinguishable direction. "Matt?"

Tori stopped unpacking. "…What the fuck was that?"

"Matt?" The voice was clearer now.

"Who ar-" Matt spun around to the owner of the voice. "…HOLY SHIT, NEAR!"

"EW, WHAT IS THAT ALBINO TWIT DOING HERE?"

"I HAVE NO FREAKIN' IDEA!"

"MELLO! NEAR IS IN HERE, WHAT THE FUCK!"

"Eh?" came Mello's intelligent response. And then he entered the room. "…WHAT THE FUCK, NEAR?"

"What, Mello?" The albino adolescent was seemingly unaware of the uproar his presence is causing.

"What the HELL are you doing here?"

"Matt invited me inside."

One of Matt's eyebrows somersaulted over his head. "What? No I didn't!"

"Yes, you did."

"Hell no, liar!"

"I am not lying."

"I didn't, I swear!"

"You did." Near calmly twirled his hair with his finger.

"I don't care who did what!" Mello whipped his gun out of his pants. "NEAR, GET OUT."

"..."

"Now!"

"…"

"..…"

"I want a gun!" Tori piped in, killing the awkward tension, while Matt shrugged and began playing _Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Mini-Land Mayhem _on his beloved DS.

"Well, you can't have one." The blond teenager gave the girl a credulous stare.

"Hey, I found this gun! How do I use th-"

BANG!

Somewhere in the corner of everyone's eyes, a white and fluffy figure went down.

"...Now can I keep it?"

"Are you serious? Of course not!"

"Too bad." Tori stuck the gun down her shirt. "If you want it, go get it!"

"You'd sue me for sexual harassment or some shit like that." Mello frowned with distaste.

"No, I wouldn't."

"I know you would!"

A sheeply voice rang across the room again. "I cannot feel my arm."

"I don't give a fuck, prick! And didn't Tori just kill you? How the hell are you still alive?"

The supposed-to-be-dead Near ignored the question. "Is Tori your girlfriend, Mello?"

"Nope."

"Then who is she? Why is she here?"

"…That's none of your damn business."

"Why?"

"…Stop asking questions, prick."

"Why?"

Mello twitched in annoyance. "…Shut up, you effing b-"

"MELLO! LOOK!" Tori flailed her arms.

"What?"

"There's a fatass outside our door!"

"The fuck?" Before he could walk up to the door to open it, the poor piece of wood went flying into outer space.

A blob impressively burst through the door frame, opening its mouth to shriek the following gibberish: "0MGZ M3LLO I LUBB UU! PLZZ MARRY MEEE!"

Tori's eyes widened in shock. "...Holy sh-"

"Who the f-?" Mello raised an eyebrow.

Even Matt finally looked up from his game. "The hell?"

And predictably, nothing from Near.


	2. To the Alley!

**A/N:** Welcome to the second installment of the _Game of Chocolate_ series! This chapter is rather short compared to the previous one. Oh well.

* * *

"OMGZ MELLO I KNW DIS DAY WUD COME, SO YUR GUNNA MARRY ME!" the obnoxious voice went on. "MAH NAME IZ TIFFY, YEYZ!"

"Shit." Mello swore. Rabid fangirl warning.

"Mello, let's go hide. And then she'll attack Matt instead," Tori offered. "Well, Mello? Are you coming?"

"But there's no good hiding place here."

"That's why we go outside, retard."

"Oh, right." Mello climbed out of the window in an attempt to not be noticed by Tiffy the insane fangirl.

"…" Tori chose to simply walk out of the door. Then, sensing earthquake-like movement on the floor, she yelled to the already-escaped male: "MELLO, RUN! I FEEL A TREMBLE!"

"M3LL MELLZ, WHERE R U?"

* * *

Managing to catch up with Mello, the pair ran to a random creepy-looking alley, panting heavily.

"Holy crap, I feel bad for Matt. But if we brought him with us, the fatass would follow us," Tori huffed-puffed.

"I don't think she would harass Matt though?"

"You don't know that…"

"…Sucks to be him."

**Meanwhile, back at the apartment…**

A bloodcurdling, hideous shriek once again emitted from Tiffy's foaming gob. "WHERR IZZ MELLOO!"

Matt looked up from his game. "Er, I don't know?"

The fangirl proceeded to strangle the unsuspecting gamer. "TELLL MEE3333EEE OR I KEEL YOO!"

"H-HEY, WHAT THE F-"

…**And back to the alley.**

Mello was unable to imagine what Matt was going through right at this precise moment.

"…I have a bad feeling about this. Sucks that we're not going back," the teenage girl commented considerately.

Suddenly, someone's phone said, "Ring ring, pick me up please! I'm Tori's cellphone!"

"Hello?"

At the other end of the line came strange, crackling noises. "HELP ME!"

"…Who is this?" Tori raised an eyebrow.

"THIS IS MA- HOLY SHIT!"

Beeeeep. The line died.

"What was that?" Mello inquired.

"…Eh. Nothi-"

"HMZ I WUND3R WHERE IZ TEH M4TT3W."

Two heads jerked towards the direction of the voice, and they sighed with relief when they realized it wasn't a certain fatass Mello fangirl. Instead, it was a different girl.

"Um, who?" Tori questioned.

"U NO BLOOO HAIR AND GOGGLEZ? YAA DAT KID!"

"Blue hair?"

"LOLZ YA U GUYZ R SILLEH. U NO HIM!"

"I don't know anyone with blue hair," the blond prodigy inputted.

" LOLZ R U GUYZ HIDING HIM? SILLEH DONKEHS!"

"...What?"

"Donkey...?"

"YA, SILLEH DONKEHS!"

With that final statement, the pair slowly backed away from the odd girl. Then they ran like hell.

"WAIT FER ME PLZ! I NEED TA PUT ON MEH SHOEZ! HMM, WHERE MAY DEY BEE?"

"I'LL RACE YOU!" Tori yelled to Mello.

"Like hell I'm gonna lose!"

* * *

A few seconds later, they arrived back at the apartment.

"HA, I WIN!"

"…Damn it. And it looks like Tiffy is g-"

"0MGZ D3R3 U R M3LL0."

Mello smacked his forehead. Tori then decided by herself to go inside the apartment first and to lock all of the doors and windows. And that is when she found Matt cowering in the corner of the living room.

"Hey Matt."

The response she received was a piteous whimper.

"…What the hell happened to you?"

"T-Tiffy… She killed my DS!" The poor kid pointed to a pile of indistinguishable pieces with epic depression.

"...Uh, alrighty then, let's watch Mello get raped by a fatass in the window."

"I-I was on level 67 in the new Mario game…" he continued to whine.

Mello had managed to climb up to the window, and was now banging on it violently. "LET ME IN."

"What, Mello? I can't hear you!" Tori lied, grinning.

"I said… OPEN THE WINDOW!"

"WHAAAT? Oh, I'll leave you there for like, 15 minutes."

"LET ME IN NOW, DAMN IT!" The innocent window was given another kick.

"I see, so you're pretty angry. So you want in, Mello? ...Sucks!"

The blond-head narrowed his eyes threateningly. " ...DAMN YOU!"

"What did you just say?"

"I SAID, DAMN YOU!" And the window was kicked again.

"…Guess who's not coming inside now? Besides, kicking the window won't do shit!"

"I will freaking _shoot_ you, once I get inside…"

"No, you won't."

"DAMN RIGHT I WILL!" the chocoholic snarled, pulling out his gun.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, SORRY! I'LL LET YOU IN!"

Too late. A random group of rabid fangirls had already crowded around. There was no escape.


	3. Matt's Meddling

**A/N: **Just a quick reminder. My portrayal of fangirls in this story are meant to be stereotypical and odd, so don't be offended or I'll eat you, om nom nom.

* * *

"Sorry, Mello," Tori apologized helpfully as fangirls encircled Mello.

"OMG OGMG OGMGMGMGMGMG MELLOOO!"

"SO R U SINGLE MELLZZ?"

"OMGZ WE R GUNNA GET MARRIED!"

"I LUVVV UUU!"

A 'brilliant' idea crept into Mello's mind. "Actually, I'm taken."

If Mello was taken, the fangirls would back off, right? They would think that they now have no chance of getting him, right? ...Right?

"WAAAAT?"

"That's right, I'm taken."

"OMGZ BY WHOO? BY WHOOO?"

"…You don't need to know." The blond teenager's confidence diminished slightly.

"OMGZ DEN I ASSUME UR LIEK LYING. LOL YA SO WE CAN SNOG YOU TO DEATH."

"Fine! My girlfriend is… Tori!" He spoke the name of the first that came into his mind.

The said girl faced Mello in surprise and confusion. "...Huh? When di-"

"WHOZ DAT?"

The genius gestured towards Tori, smirking. "Her."

"...E-e-eh?"

Then came the expected angry outburst from the fangirls. "OAFFSHDOWIFHQFJ I H8 U! DIE TORI!"

"Well… I'm going inside." Mello's new 'girlfriend' returned to the apartment, hoping to avoid any conflicts. "U-u-uh... come on, Mello..."

"What the hell happened?" Matt piped.

"...I'm now Mello's girlfriend?"

"GOOD ONE, MATE!" Goggle-head cheered, giving the chocoholic a smack on the back, almost making him fall forwards.

"Matt…"

"Yeah?"

"…What was that for?"

"What was what for?"

Tori twitched in annoyance. "You just said "good one, mate". What the fuck was that for?"

"Okay okay, calm down…" Matt held out both of his hands in front of him in defence.

"WHAT WAS IT FOR?"

"Well, you and Mello practically just met, and you're already a couple?"

Mello coughed to get his best friend's attention. "Matt."

"Yeah, Mells?"

He shot a look at the grinning male, raising an eyebrow, then frowned and blinked multiple times unnecessarily. That was his failed attempt to communicate without words.

"…Huh?"

"OMGZ HAVE YOU TEW KISSED YET?" Somehow, an inhuman strength caused the window to shatter into millions of pieces. …This was the power of rabid fangirls.

Mello gaped at the mess that was now on the floor. "...No."

"OMGZ KISS KISS KISS KISS!"

"Hell no!"

"LOL Y R U SCARED TO KISS UR GF? YU GAY WITH MATT? DATZ WHY?"

Somewhere in the background, a certain gamer made a funny noise that sounded like a combination of a sneeze, a cough and a snort.

"Gu-girls... Just go away…" Tori sighed.

"LOL NICE GOING RORY!"

"It's... Tori…"

"YA YA! WHATEVAZ, LAURIE!"

"...It's _Tori_."

"LOL SO YA, MELLO! R U GUNNA KISS HER OR BE A GAY SISSY GIRLY GURL?" Blame their short attention spam.

The teenager gave them a threatening glare. "It has nothing to do with you! Now go away!"

"AS MELLO FANGURLZ, IT HAZ EVRYTHANG TO DO WIF US! OTHRWISE WE WILL TELL DA WORLD YUR GAY!"

"FUCK NO! Or I'll shoot you all!" The enraged male pulled out his gun.

"OMGZ WE WILL." Simultaneously, all of the girls whipped out their cell phones, overly decorated with stickers, and began typing a "txt msg" at insane speed.

"DELETE THE MESSAGE NOW, DAMN IT!"

"NAWT UNTIL YOO 2 SMOOCHIE SMOOCH!"

Tori winced at the abuse of English words. "...S-smoochie smooch?"

"The fuck…?"

The fangirls gave them their evil creepy grin of doom, their fingers hovering over the button "Send".

Out of desperation, Mello grabbed Tori and shoved his face onto hers unromantically for a split second along with a flash… from a camera. "THERE. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?"

"H-h-holy…" the victim stammered, turning bright red.

"YAA. BUT DAT WUZ FAKE!"

He had to force himself to not begin slamming his head against the wall. "No, it wasn't! A kiss is a kiss!"

"IT WUZ FAKE. WE KNOW DATZZ."

Matt, of course, previewed the photograph he took with perfect timing. "Whoa. This is _pure_ gold. Pure blackmailing gold…"

And then Tori fainted. No one noticed. Mello was too busy raging at the fangirls, while his evil friend snickered and ran to print millions of copies of the photograph.

"YOO TEW SLEEP IN TEH MELLO'S ROOM!" the girls yelled bossily, dragging Tori's unconscious body to his room.

"WHAT?"

They lifted the girl onto the bed, acting as one. "KBAI WE WILL BEE WATCHING!"

"That's just creepy..."

Tori stirred."...What the f- I had a weird dream! Some creepy girls were crowding you, and they were asking if you were single, and then you were like "Tori is my girlfriend!" And then they were all like "Kiss kiss kiss!" And you grabbed me and kissed me! Weird, huh?"

"…Yes. Weird."

A paper airplane flew out of nowhere, hitting the teenage girl in the face conveniently.

"Open me!" said the plane. No, not really. Objects can't talk.

"...What the?" She opened the airplane and-

HOLY SHIT! IT'S A PICTURE OF TORI AND MELLO KISSING.

Mello groaned. "MATT…"

"Uh... why did you do that?"

He shifted awkwardly. "...I wrongly thought it would drive away the fangirls."

"EXTRA, EXTRA!" a voice shouted. It was Matt throwing the same copies of the paper airplanes out of the window.

"OEIWJNQPOIEJf!" Mello pronounced the non-existing word with professional skills. He grabbed his gun and shot the wall, missing the dude only by a few millimetres.

"…Oh, shiiiiit." Matt jumped out of the window, ironically willing to risk his life to save his life.

"...So anyway, we're going out now? What?" the forgotten Tori asked.

"...Technically, yes. But it's just a cover-up."

She pushed aside her temptation of cheering "YAY YAY YAYYY!" and said, "…Alright then. …Where do I sleep? I'll just stay here. Night!"

"Get off the bed" was the very gentlemanly response.

"Nope."

"GET OFF NOW. OR I'LL PUSH YOU OFF!"

"It's soft in here."

"TOO BAD."

"...No."

Mello leapt onto the bed like a lion attacking its prey. "GET. OFF. NOW."

At that time, Matt happened to have returned. "Hey, what's goin- …" He stopped abruptly and went to get his camcorder to record the seemingly interesting situation.

"No! I don't want to!"

He gave her a rough push. "OFF."

The girl just climbed back on. "NO!"

And another push. Tori quickly grabbed onto the bed frames. "ON!"

Mello approached a new method: pulling.

"MY PANTS ARE SLIPPING!" the girl complained.

"Then get off!"

"No! …My pants just fell off."

"…" Mello finally stopped pulling and looked away, while Matt coughed and decided that this was the right time to stop watching. And to upload the video.

A random bird randomly snatched the random pants and flew out of a random window. "Chirp chirp!" it said evilly before it departed.

"...The bird took my pants!"

"What the fuck was that? …And get another pair?"

"But it's in Matt's room! The fangirls are out there! My hair is all messed up and my pants are off! They're going to get the wrong idea!"

"Sucks for you."

Matt burst into the room. "HEY GUYS. GUESS WHAT?"

"Hm? What?"

"You got five thousand page views in just five minutes on Youtube!"

Mello stared at Matt sceptically. "YouTube?"

"Yeah, I uploaded a video."

"…What video?"

Matt snickered. "Take a look at this…"

While this conversation was taking place, Tori managed to get a pair of Snoopy pyjama pants before returning. "Wait, what video? What is Matt talking about?"

Mello was about just about to falcon punch his friend, but was interrupted by the question. "…You don't want to know."

Matt shoved his laptop into Tori's face. "Look! Six thousand views now!"

"What is it?" She pressed play. "…Matt. You're an ass wipe."

"You're both now Internet _phenomenons_!"

"WHY DID YOU UPLOAD IT?"

Matt began to back away nervously. "I-I thought it was funny…?"

"I'm going to kill you…" Tori raised a fist slowly.

He immediately bolted out of the room.

Fist lowered. "…Mello? Now what?"

"Somehow get Matt to delete it, I guess… This is going to be _hell_."

"How so?"

"KNOCK KNOCK! OMGZ PLZ OPEN ME!" the apartment door said. "A FATASS IS POUNDING ON ME!"

Just kidding. But someone did knock on the door, and Mello opened it. "Whaddaya want?"

"M3LLOOO! ARE THEY FAKE? TELL TEH TROOF MELL MELLZ!"

Yes, it was Tiffy.

"...Because of _this_," he answered Tori's question before replying to the rabid fangirl, sneering. "It's not fake."

"YU TWO SERIOUSLY DID ET?"

"What? HELL NO!"

"DEN WHUT WAS DAT? UR STILL OPEN SINCE YU TWO DIDN'T DO ET? OK! LETS DO ET NOW MELL MELLZ."

Mello's expression twisted into one of disgust. "It doesn't work like that."

"YES IT DUS."

"Yeah, whatever." The door was slammed right in Tiffy's face.

"I WIL FORCE U TEW SINCE U DIDNT DO ET WIT HER SO ETS OKIE," she shrieked through the keyhole.

Mello snickered, turning to walk away. "That's right, talk to the door."

The door was suddenly knocked over. The girl continued her speech that no one cares about. "YEEEY WE R GUNNA DO ET AND MAKE PRETTY BABIEZ"

"…You're gonna pay for that."

"YEY MELLOZ! GESS WAT IM NOT WEERING UNDIES TEWDAY SO WE CAN DEW IT."

"Okay, I didn't need to know that..." The blond teenager took a few steps back, looking almost terrified.

Tiffy apparently didn't know the concept of sign language and followed him. "YEY!"

"STAY BACK, DAMN IT!"

Then she tripped and fell on Mello. The poor prodigy was crushed. "FUCK! GET OFF ME."

Tori walked towards the heap uncertainly. "...Mello? Mells?"

"WHAT?"

"...I'll go away now."

"NO. HELP ME, DAMN IT!"

But you yelled at me!"

"I'M IN AN EMERGENCY SITUATION."

"YOU YELLED AT ME!"

Enter: Mattycakes. "Wha- LOL." He began taking photographs once again.

Tori, loyal to Mello, attacked the photographer. "PISS OFF!"

"But I didn't do shit!" Matt whined.

Despite his protests, she grabbed the camera and hurled it out of the window. "Mello, grab my hand!"

Mello obediently grabbed her hand, and she pulled with all her strength. "Fuck, she's heavy."

"OMMGGG i lyke sitting on mello! IT SO COMFY!" Tiffy stated pointlessly.

"Matt, help!" Tori had no choice but to turn to him.

"B-but you killed my camera!"

"DO IT FOR MELLO, DAMN IT."

"Hmm…"

"I'LL BUY YOU THE NEWEST KIRBY GAME! ASDFGH!" Mello bribed, adding in another unpronounceable term.

"Okay!" Matt agreed without a second thought, and began pulling him out. With a sudden jerk, the crushed male was finally freed.

"0MMGG N0000EZZZ!" Tiffy shrieked. "COME BAK MELLOZ!"

"Uh… Mello, we should run and hide… Again!"


	4. The Sweets Shop

**A/N: **Just a short note in advance. I apologise that I have made L seem out of character (of course he'd know what a kiss is, right?). And also a re-emphasis. The use of "txt tlk" is _purposeful_ for the sake of humour.

* * *

"Mello! Where's your motorcycle? Let's get the hell out of here!" Tori urged frantically.

Leather-pants smacked his forehead. "It's at the repair shop…"

"0MGZ IM C0MING 4 U, M3LL M3LLZ!" came the voice that they feared.

"Um, let's go now!" The teenage girl began running out of the door.

"G0 WH3R3?"

Mello jumped out of the window for the second time in one day and ran like hell.

"W4IT 4 M3. I C4NT J4M MYS3LF INT0 TH3 D00R!"

Fortunately, they escaped after three hours worth of running.

"I think we've lost her... And everyone else!" Tori huff-puffed, then pushed the blame onto Mello. "Why didn't you stop!"

"…Why didn't _you _stop _me_?" the blond teenager retorted.

" ...Shut up. How do we get back?"

"Don't tell me to shut up!"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! Hehehe…" she giggled until she noticed the death glare. "…Please don't hit me!"

"I didn't say I was going to," he responded.

"You don't have to say so! Just hit me and get it done with!"

"…" He flicked her forehead and smirked.

Her hands automatically reached up to rub the sore. "...Ow? Now how do we get out of here?"

"No idea."

The very things they were avoiding came to them like a punch in the face. Even though it isn't Tiffy, it's still a rabid fangirl – a 10-year-old. "OMGZ OMGZ UR MELLO!"

"...Go away." If looks could kill, Tori would have killed the girl over fifty times.

"How did you know my name?" Mello demanded warily.

"SOME PERSUN PUT UP A VID!" She happened to be carrying a laptop and showed them the YouTube video of their fight on the bed. "AND I THINK UR HAWT, MELLO! EVEN HOTTER THAN JUSTIN BIEBER!"

"Uh…" uttered the other girl who wasn't misusing the caps lock.

"LOL JUSTIN BIEBER IS REALLY HAWT! OH AND I GOT A SMILEY STICKER ON MY TEST TODAY!"

"...Good for you," the male deadpanned.

"0MGZ 0MGZ PLZ TAKE A PIC WIT ME!"

"Hell no."

"WHAI NAWT?"

"Because I really don't give a shit about you."

"LOLZ UR SO FUNNY!" The oblivious little girl hugged Mello. "AND I'LL NEVAH LET GO!"

Tori managed to pull him out of the death grip. "Come on, let's go…"

He muttered something about hitting a brat while walking away by himself like some badass mafia leader. Oh wait, he _is _in the mafia.

The non-10-year-old chased after him. "Wait for me! Mello! MELLOOO!"

"What?"

"Where are we? I'm scared. I want to go back!"

"Sucks for you," the other teenager commented unsympathetically.

"...I wonder what Matt's up to. …I'm scared! Bring me back! I want to go home! ...But I do wonder what Matt's up to."

"Oh wait, I can call just him to give us a ride..." He took out his mobile phone and pressed a few buttons. Funny he didn't think of that earlier. "Hey, Matt?"

"HAHA I HAZ HIZ PHONE!" said the voice on the other side. There was also a "MMMMFFF! MMM!" noise going on in the background, which coincidentally happened to sound like a tied-up and gagged Matt. Don't ask Mello how he knew that.

"…Who the fuck is this?"

"ITZ ME!"

"And you are…?"

"LOL I'M UR BIGGEST FAN! HINT HINT!"

Disconnected.

"Who was that?" Tori asked.

"Some weirdo. Looks like we'll be stuck here for a while."

Yet another random event occurred. A bird landed on the pavement, opening its beak to say: "You still have another way of getting back! Chirp chirp!"

Mello stared at the bird with his mouth open, confounded by its ability to talk.

"That's the bird that stole my pants," Tori accused. "Shoot it!"

"No, that wasn't me, chirp chirp! That was my brother, tweet!"

"Shoot it for being related to it!" She pulled out her gun.

"No, I can help you! Chirp!"

"…And that would be how?" the leather-panted adolescent pressed on.

"You can call Near for help, chirp chirp!"

"…" Mello also brought out his gun and sent a bullet flying towards the poor bird that was just trying to assist the situation.

Skillfully, the small animal dodged it and chirruped a final message before flying away. "You can't get me because I'm a karate bird!"

"What the fuck?" Tori raised an eyebrow. "...Alrighty then, now what?"

"I heard you were lost, Mello," said a Near-ish voice.

"...NEAR? And I'm not fucking lost!" Everyone knows that Mello has his pride.

"It seems that you are." The albino reached up one hand to twirl his hair innocently.

"…AND?"

"I suspect you are requiring assistance."

"From you, no." A certain teenage girl shot Near for the second time. He collapsed.

"…We should get the hell out of here before the police comes," Mello instructed.

"But I can't run as fast as you!" the girl lied. "CARRY ME."

"No."

"Then the cops will catch me, I'll tell them you were part of this, and we'll live together in jail!"

"There would be no evidence that I was part of it." He smirked at her naivety.

"…I have that fangirl. She'll spill it all out." A mischievous smile was present on Tori's face.

"Now you're going to resort to _bribery_? Wow, you're a great _girlfriend_, aren't you?"

"Fine then, I'll stay here and watch us get thrown in jail. Piggyback is fine too. ...So? So so so, Mello?"

"Nope."

"You're going to get thrown in jail, then!" Tori plopped down onto the ground. "My boyfriend kicked me and left me here! When the cops come, I better tell them I got abused by my _loving_ boyfriend."

"That's blackmail and slander!"

She whimpered. "Ow, it really hurts! I wonder why my _boyfriend_ would do that."

"…" Mello simply just walked away.

"…Fine, I'm coming!" The girl stomped after him.

"Seventy percent off on all chocolates!" a loud voice boomed from a nearby sweets shops, which mysteriously appeared out of nowhere.

The male chocoholic froze and turned towards the direction of the announcer. "HOLY SH-!"

"TORI WANTS! GO GO GO!"

The pair immediately sprinted to the shop at a speed that would put Sonic the Hedgehog to shame, shoving everyone out of the way regardless of their genders.

"Mine!" Mello snapped rudely.

"What the hell is wrong with him? Creepy guy…" A couple of girls gave him a look of disdain.

"HE'S NOT FUCKING CREEPY YOU ASS WIPES!" Tori yelled, causing the girls to leave the shop, still bickering on.

"Move, bitches!" More shoving from Mello.

"Hey, that's rude! You shouldn't push a girl!" another girl objected.

"Sucks for you." He began grabbing every single chocolate that his hands can reach.

"I WANT THIS AND THAT AND THIS!" Tori screamed at the worker, pointing to almost everything.

"U-uh... Right away!"

Mello was already stuffing his face with unpaid chocolates. Hey, it's not as if anyone is watching.

"Hello, Mello. I did not expect to see you here," said a monotone voice.

"Who the f- …" He dropped his precious chocolates, staring in shock.

"Hey, who is that?" Tori pointed at the tall, hunched-over man who was wearing a plain white shirt and jeans. "…Ew, you stand like a freaking hobo."

The panda-eyed man placed his thumb up to his lips. "Who is your friend?"

"…Tori, this is the greatest detective in the world: L."

"…I just called him a hobo!"

"Here you go, miss!" A male worker handed Mello a bag.

He stared at the worker. "…Excuse me?"

"Your chocolates, Miss. You ordered chocolates, right?"

"I. AM NOT. A FUCKING..." The temperamental genius slammed his fist on the counter, causing the victim to back away. "…GIRL!" Then he felt L staring at him. "…I mean, thank you…? And L, this is Victoria."

"...Hi L! Sorry for calling you a hobo earlier!" Tori then coughed. "But um… Scooby-Doo is the _best _detective ever."

Before anyone could respond, yet another paper airplane flew across the store and landed on L's hands, with the message "Open me!" written on it. And so he opened it. To see the photograph of Mello and Tori's kiss.

The girl peeked at the piece of paper. "Uh… oh…"

"What is this, if I may ask?" the hunched-over man questioned, genuinely curious.

"...Where the hell did that come from?" Mello muttered.

"HEHEHE!" giggled some random fangirls, watching from the corner. They dispersed after noticing his death glare.

"You have not answered my question."

"It's… nothing?" the potential successor answered awkwardly.

"…Should we leave?" Tori whispered to him.

"Yes." Mello changed his volume from a whisper to a normal-speech level. "L, we-"

"I would still like an explanation of this photograph," L interrupted. "I have never seen something like this before."

"...It's... nothing…?"

"If it is nothing, then what is the purpose of this gesture?"

"It's... it's a... friendship thing...?" Well, this wasn't exactly a lie.

L placed his thumb up to his lips once again. "How interesting."

"…Yes."

"...Um... So if you don't mind we kind of…" Tori tried to help with the problematic situation.

"Why do they exchange this particular action?" L went on. "Could they not have done something less intimate, or otherwise?"

"Look we really appreciate your… concern, but um… But... Um..."

"I would like to try," he said straightforwardly.

"...Um... try what?"

" What the two of you are depicted to be doing in the photograph. It is quite intriguing."

"…Er, yeah. Just… find a friend?" Mello suggested, showing obvious agitation.

Oddly enough, Light happened to enter the store. "Ryuzaki, Watari informed me that you would be here."

"Yes, I was purchasing sweets," the detective replied.

"I have discovered something interesting… regarding the Kira case." The past part was said in a low tone.

This was when Mello took the opportunity to escape to prevent any more uncomfortable questions.

"Wait, Mello!" Tori yelled. "Come here!"

"There is something I would like to try first, Yagami-kun, if you do not mind?" L said to Light.

"What is it?"

Mello walked back to the small group, dubious. "What, Tori?"

"Just watch!"

And L shoved his lips against Light's. A loud "WHAT THE FUCK?" came from the teenage girl, while Mello burst out into laughter.

"…Ryuzaki, what was that for?" Even during an unexpected situation like this, the calm Kira suspect managed to keep his composure.

"It does not seem to have any particular effects," L commented, thinking.

"Um, Mello. Let's go now!" The pair once again ran like hell.


	5. The Toy Store

**A/N:** This chapter demonstrates what I meant when I first said that the characters would sound normal, but act out of character. By the way, Near fangirls, please don't be offended that I referred to him as a midget. He's one of my favourite characters tooooo. :U

* * *

The two teenagers panted from their run. "Mello, let's go to the toy store, kill some time, y'know?"

"Yeah, sure."

They strolled into a toy store which conveniently appeared.

"I wonder what's so amazing about them…" the bored Tori commented, while Mello just glanced around.

"Hello, Mello."

"…_Near_? You _again_? Didn't Tori kill you in the previous chapter? What the hell do you want?"

Near ignored the question that even the author cannot explain, and held out a certain photograph. "Would you like to explain this?"

"Not again…" the female groaned.

"It's none of your business." Mello twitched.

"Then why were there so many copies of this?"

"…Blame Matt."

"I assume he distributed them." The sheep began twirling a strand of his hair. "Also, I do not understand the concept within the photograph."

"Well, too bad!"

The frail adolescent randomly threw a robot at Mello.

"Ow! What the fuck, Near?"

"I challenge you to a robot fight," he responded seriously.

"…PFFT, BWUAHAHAHA!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA," Tori joined in. "OH JEEZ, A _ROBOT_ FIGHT?"

"I do not see what it is that you find to be so hilarious."

Mello proceeded to rolling on the floor, and tried to speak between his laughs. "I… CAN'T… BREATHE…"

"…" The humiliated Near threw another one at him.

"Ouch, _prick_!"

And he tossed yet another.

"Alright, you asked for it!" The blond teenager grabbed the robots and hurled them back like some professional American football player, hitting the midget on the chest.

"Guys, stop!" Tori protested, realizing that they were attracting attention.

Mello then began grabbing the toys on the nearest shelves and launched them at Near. A box of chess pieces exploded in mid-air. The albino also threw a robot at Tori.

"NEAR!" she fumed, "I'm going to smash you, I'M GOING TO-"

He just threw another one at her.

"…Mello!" she whined. "He keeps throwing them at me!"

"Throw them back, then!" he answered, taking more objects.

Near then flung a bottle of bubbles at Mello, who sent it flying to outer space with a baseball bat, displaying incredible aim and strength. "Take that, _sucker_!"

Tori joined in the attack, pelting the small boy with marbles. He grabbed a foam sword in retaliation, waving it around skilfully as if he was some Jedi from _Star Wars_.

"You've got to be fucking kidding…" The teenage girl stared at the very out-of-character Near.

WHACK. "Ow!"

WHACK! "What the hell, Near!"

"What?" He stared at them blankly.

"Eat _this_!" Mello grabbed a gun filled with Nerf bullets, shooting the younger prodigy.

Tori tried to lower the toy gun in the blond-head's hand. "Guys, we're going to get kicked out!"

He appeared to not have heard her and continued to grab objects to throw. "Take _this_, loser! And _this_!"

"…" The girl grabbed a water gun and began shooting Near just for the sake of it.

The poor adolescent began backing away defencelessly, attacked by two taller teenagers.

"Excuse me…" a worker called out, "You-"

Tori re-aimed her water gun at the worker. "WHAT?"

She then dumped a bucket of plastic ponies on Near. The worker left, shocked by their attitude and behaviour.

Looks like the worker called the manager. He came stomping over to the trio. "OI, YOU THREE!"

Tori gave him an odd look. "I'm seventeen, not three."

"What do you want, _old man_?" Mello was now shooting Nerf bullets at the fuming manager.

"GET OUT! NOW!"

"…Old fag," the teenage girl insulted.

"Fine, whatever," Blond-head muttered, upset that his fun has ended.

The small group began leaving. Suddenly, Tori paused and knocked over one shelf full of toys purposefully.

"QOWEIJPOIJOIJW!" shrieked the manager senselessly.

She stuck her tongue out. "Bye, bitches!"

"Good one, Tori," Mello smirked.

"HEY, GET BACK HERE AND CLEAN IT UP!"

"Run!" the chocoholic instructed, sprinting. The girl followed suit, flicking up her middle finger at the manager in the process. And that's how they got back to a familiar alley.

Near, uncertain of what else to do, tagged along as well. Tori stuck out her foot, tripping him. He fell face-down onto the floor.

"Pfft, slow reaction much?" Mello sneered.

The victim stood back up, dusting his white clothes. "That was unnecessary."

"Shut up, twit!" she retorted.

"No."

"…Damn, I've got nothing to throw at Near now," the blond genius complained.

"I'm going to sit for a while…" The female sat down on a worn-down bench.

The albino, tired from the physical exercise, sat down next to her.

"…" Mello squeezed in between them defiantly.

"…Mello?" she questioned.

Since the sheep was squished right to the edge of the seat, he moved to the other side, obviously triggering another emotion in Mello.

"Yeah?" he responded to his name, glaring at Near.

Tori moved to sit on his lap, glaring at the albino. The teenager in leather pants stared at her in surprise.

"What?" she pouted.

He stuck his tongue out at Near.

"…Mello, what are you doing?"

"Nothing?"

Near simply stared, blinking.

"…What do you want, Near?" Tori demanded.

"Does the photograph hold any significance?" he questioned.

"Uh… no."

"I see. So the rumours about the relationship between you and Mello are false."

"Maybe it is, maybe it's not," Mello butted in scornfully.

"…What's it to you?" she asked Near.

"It is simply curiosity."

"Is it, really?"

"Yes. I also wanted to confirm my suspicions."

"So the fact that I'm sitting on Mello's lap doesn't spark any emotion in you?"

'Number one' tilted his head slightly. "Is it supposed to?"

"...I don't know, I just thought that..." the girl broke off.

"Hm?"

"Nothing, shut up twit."

"You did not finish your sentence."

"I said _shut_ up."

"I do not feel like doing that," Near stated rebelliously.

"Piss off."

Mello mouthed the word "sucker" to him.

"…Why are you still here?" Tori snapped.

"Then I will take my leave." The albino stood up, shuffling away.

"That was odd…" the other Wammy student commented.

"…What the hell was that…"

He shrugged. "No idea. No one knows what the hell is going on in his mind."

"…Hey Mello."

"Yeah?"

Tori grinned mischievously. "Why did you sit between us?"

"…Because."

"Because why?"

"…"

"Answer me…" Her tone changed to a serious one.

"…Because Near was trying to make me look like a loner standing by myself, so I had to prove him wrong in his _face_! …Yeah. That's right."

"You're lying…"

"…What makes you say that?" Mello shifted uncomfortably.

"You're hesitating."

"...I need to think about the wording of my sentences before I say them?"

"No, you don't. I know you. You're like lightning, you say things before thinking about them."

He frowned. "Are you calling me rash?"

"Yes, I am. Don't try to change the subject! And why am I still on your lap?"

A random crowd was walking past, noticing the couple. "OH MY- WHAT ARE THEY DOING?"

Mello stood up automatically, causing the teenage girl to fall onto the ground.

"OW!" she yelped.

He tried to hold in his laughter, smirking. "…Pfft."

"Shut up." Tori glared at him, giving him a light push. Then she pulled out a slice of chocolate torte. "And you can't have any!"

"Why not?" Mello eyed the chocolate-ness.

"You hurt me!"

"…I'm sorry?"

"And I only have one fork." She cut off a small piece and held it up to the blond teenager on the fork. He opened his mouth and-

"HAHA!" The girl snatched it back.

"WEJKRFNQJWK!"

She put the piece into her mouth. "Yum. …It's too rich. Want it?"

"…Yes."

"You have to use this fork though."

"Okay?"

"I already used it."

"So? Chocolate is chocolate."

"…Fine." Tori handed it to him.

"Victory!"

And so this chapter ends boringly with Mello 'om nom nom'ing on chocolate cake.


	6. Don't Ask

**A/N: **I take back what I said in the first chapter about the characters sounding in character. I made Takada and Mikami extremely OOC on purpose in this one. But it's not as if they're anyone's favourite character, right? ...If they are, I meant no harm. ._. But I will try my best to make the other characters sound normal.

* * *

"Mello! I'm fucking hungry!" Tori complained.

"Then let's eat?"

They entered a restaurant, which had also appeared out of nowhere like the sweets shop and the toy store.

"Please come this way." A waiter led the couple to a table before leaving.

"Mello Mello Mello!" Tori called.

"Yeah?"

"Have you noticed my eyes yet? They're cooler than everyone else's! Look at my eyes!"

"Okay…?" The teenager stared into her eyes.

"What colour are they?"

"Green."

"Cool, right right right?"

"I guess?" He could not comprehend what was so exciting.

"...You're boring."

"Eh."

A waitress, who was staring at Mello, caught Tori's attention. She glared at her protectively while the male was completely oblivious. The waitress had a confused look on her face, before taking the initial to walk over.

She fluttered her eyelashes at the male. "How may I help_ you_ today?"

"I don't need help. Go away," he responded rudely, taking a bite of his chocolate bar. Even so, Tori continued shooting death beams with her eyes.

"I'm sure you want something. I mean any-"

The girl snarled. "Piss. Off."

"Fine." The waitress gave her a dirty look before walking away.

Tori folded her arms. "...Hm."

Obnoxiously, the waitress came back again only around five seconds later. "Are you sure? We have lots of good deals!"

Mello smirked. "How about free chocolate?"

"Well, we do have some really, really delicious desserts with chocolate!" She attempted to flirt with a wink.

"Jesus Christ…" Tori muttered.

"Okay then?"

"Ta ta!" She winked again.

"FUCK OFF ALREADY!" The teenage girl lost her patient, standing up and causing her chair to fall backwards. The waitress furrowed her eyebrows before walking away.

Silence. Everyone in the restaurant stopped in the middle of their conversations and turned to stare, whispering.

Mello glanced up, slightly shocked from the sudden outburst. "…Calm down, Tori."

"But she's irritating me!" The girl sat back down.

Leather-pants leaned forward. "…Wait a minute, look towards your right."

She turned slightly. "Not that whore…"

"The Kira spokesperson."

"MELLO! SHE'S THE ONE WHO STRIPPED FOR YOU! I'm going to smash her, I'M GOING TO SM-"

More whispering. This time, they pointed at Mello. The completely flustered male tried not to glare at them and subconsciously turned his face away from their view. Great, now everyone probably thinks that he's some sexually frustrated loser who goes to strip clubs.

Tori got up again, staring at the NHN announcer. "I'm going to beat her!"

Kiyomi Takada, on the other hand, did not notice the approaching girl and droned on to her friend Mikami Teru. The words she was sprouting were so boring that the author didn't bother to type it down. "Blahblahblah. Kira this, Kira that. Blahblahblahblah!"

"Ai no, rite!" Mikami agreed like the submissive follower he is.

Mello stood up as well, rushing over to the potential murderer. "Tori."

"WHAT, MELLO?" she flared, spinning around.

"Calm down."

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL THAT SLUT!" She reverted to stomping towards the oblivious Takada.

Mello immediately grabbed her wrist, pulling her back. "I said calm down!"

"I'm… going… to… kill… her…"

"If you do, Kira supporters would only kill you in response and that wouldn't solve anything," the blond teenager explained logically. He hated how much he sounded like Near just now. Cringe!

Some random voice coming from nowhere spoke to Mello. "Aww, Mello doesn't want Tori to be dead?"

"…I'll get dragged into it!" he defended.

"Why are you hesitating?"

"…Because I want to."

"YOU LIKE TORI! LOLOLOL."

The blond male began to fume. "NO, SHUT UP!"

"You think she's ugly?

"I never said that!"

"You think she's pretty, then?"

"I didn't say that either."

On the table next to them, a noisy kid proclaimed loudly: "DIS STEAK IZ SO TASTIEZ! OM NOM NOM! Lol, whai iz et so noisy?"

"SHUT UP, KID!" Tori was clearly still in rage mode. "...And Mello, let go of my wrist."

"….Oh, right."

Then the kid decided to take revenge, pushing the girl into Mello. "MEANIEEE! Lolz nao bak tew mah yummyz steak!"

"…I'm going to kill that kid…" She shoved the kid over before returning to walking dramatically towards Takada, feeling for the gun she didn't have.

His face landed on his "yummyz" steak. "OH BOOBOOZ!"

"Blahblahblahblah Kira iz lyke so c00l," Takada bragged.

"Ai no, rite!"

"What the f- MELLO!" Tori yelled. "…Shit. Whatever, I have hands. WHORE!"

The last word was emphasised with a punch.

The older female gasped. "OMG U PUNCHED ME!"

Camera crews began rushing into the scene, shoving their cameras into Tori's face. "The Kira spokesperson, Kiyomi Takada, was punched by a teenage girl with black hair and green eyes! So far, the local authorities have been unable to confirm her identity!"

"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!" she swore on live television. "I'M NOT FUCKING UNKNOWN, YOU ASSWIPES!"

"Tori…" Mello warned, pulling out his gun slowly.

"It seems that now this raging girl is misdirecting her anger towards us!"

Then the cameras exploded. Yes, the chocoholic shot them in order to have their faces be seen by the public as little as possible. The diners in the restaurant burst into screaming and rampage.

"TAKADA! YOU FUCKING WHORE! STRIP IN FRONT OF MELLO AGAIN AND I WILL SMASH YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE SIDEWALK!" Tori continued threatening the older woman. "I'LL DO IT RIGHT NOW, ACTUALLY!"

Mello automatically grabbed her arms, preventing her from moving. "CALM DOWN."

"MELLO! LET GO OF ME!"

More cameras were brought out. "It seems that another teenager is involved!"

"Die, cameras!" the flying bullets declared a war cry silently, embedding into the lens and causing dysfunction. "I kill you in the name of Mello!"

"HOLY SHIT! IT'S A CRAZY KILLER! HELP US, KIRA!" the people at the scene screamed.

"We should go now," Mello stated, oddly calm.

Then more camera crews came bursting into the restaurant through the windows, desperate to record the action.

"Run for it!" the leather-panted adolescent instructed, darting through the entrance doors.

Enter: Matt with his awesome car.

"Get in!" the techno-genius directed coolly while smoking.

"Hey Matt…" Tori got into the car with an epic jump, followed by Mello.

"I saw the news so I had to come." He pressed his foot down onto the pedal, escaping from the screaming crowd while tossing a smoke bomb out of the window.

"…Matt."

"Yeah?"

"Where's Tiff?" asked Tori.

"She passed out from hunger since we're out of food."

"…Wow. Alrighty then."

"HEY! HEY MATT!" the random voice called again, this time to Matt.

"…Huh?"

"You think Tori's pretty cute, right?" The person - thing, or whatever it is - was attempting to make Mello jealous.

"Yeah, sure." Striper-shirt played along, winking.

"…Matt," the target victim hissed.

It continued on. "She's pretty nice, right?"

"Yep." Matt's lips twisted upwards into a feline smile.

"If she asked you out, you'd say yes, right?"

"Maybe."

Mello suddenly punched him, causing the car to swerve to one side dangerously. Luckily, he responded quickly otherwise the trio would be long-gone.

"Ow! I was just joking! Sheesh…" He rubbed one side of his cheek with his hand, before adding on with a sly smirk. "We all know how much you lo- Oops, my bad."

"…"

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH. The car swerved again, narrowly missing a passing truck.

"FUCKING KIDS!" the truck driver swore angrily, before crashing into an unfortunate department store which happened to be in the way. He probably died. Oh well.

Stripy-shirt gave his attacker a quick glare. "Dude, I'm _trying_ to _drive _here!"

"What the flip, Mello!" Tori scolded. "Don't hurt Matt for no reason!"

"I have my reasons!" he snapped back.

"MELLO. OH MY GOD, CONTROL YOURSELF OR YOU'RE SITTING BACK HERE."

He grumbled, but shut up.

* * *

And so they arrived back at the apartment. Matt was still rubbing his sore cheek from Mello's violent punches.

"…I'm sleeping in Mello's room! Yay!" Tori ran into the room and locked the door.

"…THE F-" He proceeded to banging on the door with his fists. "OI."

"Go away!" was the reply.

"LOLOLOLOLOL!" The games-addict pointed and 'laughed'. "You pissed off Tori, Mells? Oooh, sucks."

"It's not funny! And no, I didn't!"

"Mello doesn't want to admit that he likes Tori!" the voice echoed through the room.

The blond teenager spun around, looking for the owner of the voice, only to fail miserably. "What the hell?"

"I'm with you, random person," grinned Matt.

"Matt!"

"You know it's the truth."

"No, it's not!"

"You gotta face it sooner or later." The gamer leaned back against the couch, playing on his DS.

"I've got nothing to face!"

"So if I told Tori that Near likes her, you wouldn't mind?" the person pressed on.

A short pause. "…'Course not. She doesn't even like the prick."

"What if she does?"

"…She doesn't."

"What if she is hiding her feelings like you are?"

"I'M NOT HIDING MY FEELINGS!" Mello exploded. "OPWENFQWUNJ!"

"Alright, I'll tell her, she might like him back, and you won't even have a shot!"

"Whatever, screw you!" he huffed. "Go ahead!"

"Why are you so angry, Mells?" Matt had a feline smile pasted onto his face again.

"Matt, do you want _another_ punch in the face?"

He got the message and went back to concentrating on his DS.

"Are you clueless?" the unknown voice demanded. "TORI FUCKING LIKES Y- Nothing."

"…What?"

"NOTHING."

"Tell me!"

"PISS OFF, SISSY GIRLY GIRL!" it taunted.

"I'M NOT A SISSY, DAMN IT!"

"TORI! TORI!" it yelled.

She came out of the room. "Hm? Who is it?"

"MELLO LIKES…"

"NO," Mello interrupted.

"…Chocolate."

The girl raised an eyebrow. "And? I knew that."

"You two have a lot in common! You both love chocolate! Both aggressive and emotional. And you hate Near! And… HEY MATT!"

"Yeah?" Matt mumbled, slightly distracted by the flashing screen while pressing buttons furiously.

"What else does Tori and Mello have in common?"

"Well, they both love e- Oops, I said too much."

"Matt, spill it or else the DS and everything else gets it!" the person intimidated.

His eyes immediately snapped away from the screen. "…But that's no fun!"

Tori stared at them in confusion before deciding to return to the bedroom. A random knife appeared, hovering above the DS.

"NO!" Then he began singing out of desperation. "MELLO AND TORI, SITTING IN A TREE. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Mello twitched at the annoying tune. "Matt, shut it."

"Mello, if Tori asked you out _for real_, what would you say?" The anonymous person sure likes to stick their nose into other people's businesses.

"…Why do you wanna know?"

"I'm just asking?"

"Too bad!" he said smugly. "You're not getting an answer!"

"Alright, so I'll tell Tori you said no?"

"Whatever. …Wait, what?"

"I WILL TELL TORI, THE PERSON YOU EFFING LOVE, THAT YOU SAID NO."

"But she didn't even ask."

"You don't know that."

Matt, having lost interest in Mello's persistence, resumed playing his game once again. "I'm gonna beat this, oh yeahhh!"

An invisible hand picked up the DS, floating out of the gamer's reach.

"Hey! I was pl-"

"MATT, DON'T YOU THINK MELLO AND TORI SHOULD DATE?"

"Uh, sure?"

"...Yes or no? With a straight face."

"Sure means yes."

"Why?" the unnamed person prompted.

"'Cause they love ea- …Er, yeah!"

"I'm holding the DS hostage if you don't finish that." A bucket filled with water appeared, about to tilt over the electronic device.

"Okay, okay! Mello and Tori love e-" He faltered again when he caught sight of Mello glowering at him.

A drop of water dripped onto the DS.

Matt pulled his hair in exasperation, staring at his beloved game with large, piteous eyes. "Why are you threatening _me_? Do it to Mello!"

"FINISH IT!"

"IF YOU DO, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" This threat from the chocoholic clearly didn't help with the situation.

Stripy-shirt's gaze shifted from his living best friend to his non-human best friend. "B-but..."

"YAY FOR DESTRUCTION!" the water screamed (not really), tipping.

"NO, WAIT!"

"YA, MATT?" the anonymous voice said.

"Sorry Mello, but I treasure my DS more!" He gave the chocoholic an apologetic glance, before blurting out: "TORIANDMELLO,THEYLOVEEACHTOTHER!"

Just then, Tori happened to walk out again. "Hey gu-"

The bucket of water vanished with a poof, and the DS dropped from mid-air. Matt leapt across the room and caught the device, cuddling it lovingly.

"…What did you say?" she questioned the teenager.

"I… I didn't say anything!"

"…Matt…" Mello's voice was oddly quiet.

"Y-yeah?"

"YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!" he roared, charging towards his friend. "IOJNFAIONF!"

"I… I HAD NO CHOICE!" Matt bawled, holding out his hands in front of him in an attempt to defend what was coming.

In slow motion, Mello grabbed him by his shoulder and-

FALCON… PUUUUNCCHHHH!

The incredible force caused Matt to crash to the ground. Impressively, he wasn't unconscious although his nose was covered in blood. He stared at the still-fuming male towering over him with widened eyes. Where the heck did he learn that?

"That was…" He stood up, stumbling slightly, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "…FUCKING PAINFUL!"

The former best friends resorted to a flurry of sissy slapping.

"Stop it, Mello!" Tori yelled, pulling him back.

"LET GO OF ME, TORI."

"NO! CALM YOURSELF!"

Matt took the chance to run to the other side of the room, still glomping his DS and glaring at the blond teenager with defiance. Mello stopped resisting and grumbled angrily.

"Shit…" the gamer swore, realizing how bad his nosebleed was.

"Sheesh…" Tori relaxed, releasing her grip. "Mello, what did Matt say that made you attack him?"

The male 'hmph'ed and looked away. "…Nothing."

"Mello."

"What?"

"Tell me the _damn_ truth!"

"IT WAS NOTHING!" he snapped, irked.

"_NOTHING_ MADE YOU ATTACK HIM?"

"Yeah right, as if it's not obvious…" Matt muttered from his corner.

"MATT, SHUT THE _FUCK_ UP!" Flames erupted in the temperamental teenager's eyes. "And yes, _nothing_ made me attack him! I hit him because I _felt_ like it!"

"Wow, thanks. I'm _honoured_ to be your punch bag," he responded in a sarcastic tone.

"MELLO! STOP LYING!" Tori rebuked before stomping to his room and locking the door. "Liar…"

The enraged male turned to Matt, unsure of what to expect from him.

"You brought it on yourself, dude." He snorted in indignation before marching to his bedroom as well, slamming the door shut.

And Mello was left all alone in the living room.


	7. Apologies

**A/N:** I love Matt in this chapter (despite me being the one who roleplayed him). Even though he had an argument with Mello, he's still willing to help him out. ; A ; Yay for loyalty and friendship. :D

* * *

"You pissed off Tori _and _Matt. Nice going! Your crush and your best friend. All in ten minutes," the anonymous voice taunted.

Mello stomped around the room pointlessly. "SHUT. UP."

"You don't care that they're mad at you?"

"Fuck no! And I didn't do shit!"

"Yes you do, and yes you did. You punched Matt and lied to him. You even lied to Tori. Since when did you start lying to her?"

"Since I wanted to?" the blond teenager scoffed. "Besides, it's Matt's fault for pissing me off."

"Oooh, alright, so now the whole world goes by your rules?"

"Damn straight."

"You're retarded." An invisible hand pushed Mello. "I made Matt do it."

"He could have chosen not to!"

"That doesn't explain why you had to lie to Tori. So, why did you?"

"I didn't lie!" he argued stubbornly.

"Yes, you did. You said you punched Matt for no reason."

"He was being an obnoxious prick!"

"Either way, you better apologize. Tori might never talk to you anymore."

Mello let out a snort of contempt. "I don't care."

Tori walked out of the bedroom. "You're being _loud_."

"What, got a problem with it?" he hissed.

The girl flinched at his sharp and rude response. However, she bit back a retort and made her way to Matt's room, standing in front of the door. "Matt. Let me in!"

"Whaaat?" was the gamer's reply.

"Open the door!"

He followed the command. "You need something?"

The teenage girl skipped inside, closed the door, and began bombarding Matt with questions. "Since when did Mello start lying to me? Why did he punch you? Why is he pissed at _me_?"

"Don't mind Mello, he's on his _period_," he tried to joke.

She shoved him. "He's not a girl!"

"It was a joke! Sheesh…" Matt blinked, surprised by her reaction. "You're really like a female version of Mello."

"W-what?"

"Yeah, the two of you are practically the perfect couple."

"…What do you mean by that?"

"What I'm saying is, you should go out with each other."

"But he's mad at me! For like, no reason!" Tori protested, "I don't want to get shot, or rejected then regret it afterwards, and then feel like a retard!"

Matt blinked once again.

"What?"

He placed down the DS he was holding, lowering his voice into a pensive tone. "Do you love Mello?"

"…Uh. OH, PFFT. GET REAL, MATT! I MEAN SERIOUSLY!" the girl blurted out, stuttering.

"I _am_ being serious."

"...Um… I mean, love is a really strong word, don't you think...?"

"...And that is relevant, how?"

Tori was unable to think of a reply. "…Mind your own business!"

"Screw logic, reasons and whatnot. All you need are emotions," Matt advised, almost philosophically.

"Shut up! I can use logic whenever the hell I want!"

His lips twisted into a feline smile. "Actually, you don't have to answer my question. You'll find out the truth sooner or later."

"What the fuck? What do you mean?"

"Wait and see."

The girl grabbed Matt by his shoulders, shaking him. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

He slipped out of her grip. "Calm down, dude! I mean, dudette."

"Answer me and I'll go away!"

"It means that you aren't admitting the truth to yourself!"

"…MATT! Stop acting smart with me and tell me the truth, damn it! What were you two fighting about?"

He grinned cheekily. "No, I think I shall leave it to the hands of fate."

"HANDS OF FATE MY ASS!"

"I remember that line from one of my video games."

"Seriously? Video games?" Tori gave him an incredulous stare. "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU TWO FIGHTING ABOUT?"

"Er, you don't need to know…?" Matt answered uncertainly.

"Yes I do! Mello just lied to me for no reason! And now he's pissed at me!"

"He's just… misdirecting his rage?"

"WHY WAS HE ANGRY, THEN?" she yelled.

"IT WAS MISDIRECTED ANGER."

"Fuck this," Tori swore, taking her leave dramatically. "You helped _a lot_."

She stormed to the living room and sat near the wall, fuming.

"_Say something!" the annoying voice directed, which only Mello could hear._

"_I don't know what to say," he responded bluntly._

"_Just talk to her! You two have a lot in common!"_

He walked up to Tori awkwardly. "…Er."

"…What!"

"_NOT LIKE THAT!" the voice groaned. "SAY SORRY!"_

"…_I was going to if you didn't interrupt!"_

"_Then please continue!"_

"…I… I'msorryforyellingatyou." Mello rushed through his sentence so fast that no human would be able to comprehend it.

"…What?"

"I said... I'msorryforyellingatyou."

" ...If you're just gonna do that, I'm leaving."

He felt a rush of impatience. "_Great_, this is what I get for apologizing?"

"_Stop being bitter to her!" the anonymous scolded. "She can't understand you if you're talking so fast!"_

"_I can't help it! I don't 'do' apologies."_

"_Then don't talk and do something else? I don't know, get Matt to tell her that you're sorry?"_

_Mello rejected the suggestion. "But Matt's pissed off too!"_

"_Then say sorry to Matt!"_

"_No, it's his fault!"_

"Jesus Christ…" Tori got up, walking slowly towards a window.

The chocoholic grabbed her wrist. "Wait…"

She spun around, giving him a sharp glare. "What!"

"For yelling at you… earlier on…" It was difficult for him to continue. "…I'm… sorry…"

"…That's it?"

"…Yes?" he replied uncomfortably.

"Doesn't explain why you yelled at me. Or lied to me. Since when did you start lying to me?"

Mello recalled the reason, wincing. "…It's not important."

"Fine, whatever. Let go."

And he released his grip on her wrist. The girl sat down with an irritated expression on her face, while Mello turned to leave.

* * *

The weird voice decided to bug Matt.

"Mello is trying to say sorry to Tori!" it informed. "You should watch!"

"Why? I'm busy playing Super Mario Sunshine!"

"He's not doing a very good job and he needs help?"

"Oh, right." The gamer set down his controller with great difficulty.

"COME ON, MATT!"

Goggle-head opened the door and peeked out. "But I don't know how I can help…?"

"Tell Tori the truth, damn it!"

"But that's not fun! They should find out for themselves!"

"FINE, THEN TELL TORI THAT MELLO'S SORRY."

Matt pondered about this for a few seconds. "…She'd accept an apology for someone from someone else?"

"She knows that Mello's not good at this stuff. She's not either."

"Then she should know that he tried his best." He couldn't help but defend his best friend.

"Yeah, but she's just mad."

"Then how would my contribution make it any different?"

A hand shoved him out of the door. "JUST GO HELP!"

"Ouch, fine!" he whined.

Tori stared. Matt walked up to her and began poking her repetitively. "Psst."

"What?"

He wasn't sure how to start. "...Um. Mello... is sorry?"

"No he's not."

"I know he is; he's my best friend. And you know that he's not the sort of person to apologize."

"I know that."

"So you're still mad at him?"

"No."

Matt raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Then why didn't you accept his failure of an apology?"

She sighed. "I wanted to know why he was yelling at me, why he hit you, and why he lied to me, but he didn't tell me."

"Well, he lied to you because he can't admit the truth." Then in between coughs, he added: "Justlikeyou."

"I don't lie!"

"But you can't face the truth."

"...So? What does that prove?"

"THAT YOU'RE THE PERFECT COUPLE!" he suddenly burst out cheerfully, giving the girl a random thumbs-up before continuing on. "Anyway! He hit me because I said something that pissed him off."

"What did you say...?"

"Some random person was threatening to kill my DS, so I didn't have a choice, but..." He coughed once again. "Isaidthatyouloveeachother."

"But what? What person? What did you just say?" Tori was clearly unused to this habit of the two males.

"...I said that... youloveeachother." Cough cough cough.

"…I don't!"

"Oh reeeally?" A Cheshire cat grin was present on Matt's face.

"...Y-y-yeah… really!"

"You're seriously like Mello in some ways," he commented.

"N-no I'm not!" she protested. "You don't know what you're saying!"

"Come on, I'm an expert at things like this."

"No you aren't! Y-y-you can't tell what I'm thinking of him!"

Matt decided to go for the question. "Then what does Mello mean to you?"

"...None of your business…"

"Pff, fine then."

"...Hemeansalottome." This speaking-habit seems to affect others as well.

The feline expression was once again pasted onto Matt's face.

"…What?" Tori asked, uncomfortable.

"Nothing..."

"Tell him and I'll shank you!" she muttered. "And… how does… he feel about me?"

"Maybe you could ask him yourself?" the gamer hinted.

"But he's stubborn!"

"He might tell you the truth if he knows how you feel about him."

"I doubt it!" She sighed once again. "And his truth is probably like "I want chocolate!" or something! You can never read him!"

"Sometimes you can, actually," Matt offered logically. "It's easier if you're someone watching from the sidelines."

"HOW COULD I NOT TELL?"

"Because you're not the one observing?"

"…Shut up."

* * *

While the conversation between Matt and Tori went on, the voice went back to Mello.

"Mello, they're talking about you!"

He glanced up. "About what, specifically?"

"Go check for yourself."

"...Nah." He would probably just aggravate them further, or vice versa.

"OH WAIT. They're pissed at you! You know why Tori is mad at you. Maybe Matt isn't."

"I bet Matt's pissed."

The person tried to fix the broken friendship between the pair. "He's still willing to help you, he just told Tori how sorry you are."

"I don't need help!" he scoffed, protecting his pride.

"You weren't doing a very good job..."

He huffed, having nothing to say. The anonymous pushed Mello out of the door before locking it. "REDO YOUR APOLOGY!"

"OI!" The blond teenager kicked the door violently.

Upon hearing this, Matt jumped out of the window to leave them alone for a serious talk. "Bye!"

"What the f-" Tori broke off. "MATT!"

Mello was still attacking the door. "YOU EFFING B-!"

"Don't break the door!" the girl warned.

"Someone locked it!"

"…Stop lying to me."

He twitched. "I'm not!"

"Stop yelling at me… Jeez, I didn't even do anything."

The anonymous voice butted into the conversation. "JUST TELL EACH OTHER YOU FUCKING LOVE EACH OTHER, DAMN IT!"

Tori's face turned bright red.

"WHY ARE YOU TURNING RED? YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!"

"...Uh, no, fuck off?" she lied.

The invisible being shoved Mello. "TELL HER!"

"No, it has nothing to do with you!" he snapped.

"I bet she already knows."

"Know what?" the girl asked.

"…That I liked chocolate?" He feebly attempted to hide the truth.

"…" Tori jumped out of the window. "MATT, WHERE ARE YOU?"

* * *

Meanwhile, at the games arcade, the gamer was bashing buttons at an insane speed. "YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"

"Shit, this guy's good…" his opponent mumbled, struggling to keep up.

"Beep beep! Player one won the game!" the machine announced.

"OH YEAH. UBER PWNAGE!" Stripy-shirt punched the air while his opponent groaned in defeat.

* * *

…And back to Tori's catastrophic situation.

"How do I get back in? Shit..."

Then she suddenly tripped over an evil oxygen particle. "OW, MY LEG! I LANDED ON MY LEG. IT'S BROKEN!"

When she received no attention, she screamed louder. "MY FUCKING LEG HURTS. HELP!"

Mello walked outside, hearing the yells.

"I'M GOING TO DIE!" the girl continued on.

"Breaking a leg won't kill you…" he stated emotionlessly.

She stared at him with impatient, and muttered. "Bitter even when I fall. Jeez... Why are you acting so different than usual to me, now?"

"Because you're mad at me?"

"I'm not?"

"…You aren't?

"No."

Mello had a blank expression. "Oh."

"…Um, now what?"

"We find Matt."


	8. Drunken Matt

**A/N:** A slightly cheesy/cute scene at the end. I know that it's out of character for Mello to say 'thank you', but it just seemed... right.

**Update:** I was just re-reading the chapters in this story, and I found a lot of typos. Also, I somehow typed "question" instead of "direction" in this particular installment. If you spot any more mistakes, I'm sorry. OTL

* * *

"Where would Matt be?" Tori wondered out loud.

"Knowing him, he'd be at an arcade." Mello made an educated guess.

They subconsciously began walking towards a particular direction.

"You know what would be funny?" she said casually.

"No. What?"

"If we'd just walk in holding hands and Matt saw us, and thinks that we're dating for real, so he'd be like 'What the fuck?'"

The blond teenager smirked. "Want to try?"

"Okay!"

He held out his hand in a princely manner, and the girl grabbed it. Then came a stampede of fangirls.

"OMGZ MELLOZZZZ I DIDNT KNOWS U R STIL DATING DAT ENGRISH GIRLZZZ."

Tori stared. "…What now?"

"Run for it!" the chocoholic instructed, pulling her behind him.

"H3Y WHERE U GOING?"

Fortunately, the squealing voices faded away soon enough as they entered a video arcade.

"The neon lights make my eyes bleed," Tori commented, squinting.

Mello continued dragging the girl around, searching for Matt.

She pointed to a random crowd. "Found him!"

As he glanced towards the direction she was pointing at, a random teenager approached Tori. "Heeeey…"

"…Uh, hi," the girl responded rather awkwardly.

"Name's Alex, what's yours?"

Mello gave him a death glare.

"…Uh. …Tori?"

"How old are ya? I'm nineteen."

"...Fifty-two, bye." She walked away from the creepy, dragging Mello.

Obnoxiously, he followed. "Playing hard 'ta get?"

Tori pointed to the teenager she was dragging. "My boyfriend. Fuck off."

"…So you're her boyfriend?" Alex frowned.

The blond male smirked, and placed one arm around the girl's shoulders. "Of course, what does it look like?"

He scoffed. "What's so interesting 'bout the blondie?"

"…Um, everything…?"

"Whatever." Rejected.

Matt suddenly burst out of the crowd, stumbling slightly. "MAXIMUM WOOTAGE! OH YEAH, WHO'S THE BOSS?"

"Hi Matt," Tori greeted.

"Heyyyyy duudeeess," he slurred back.

"...Matt?"

"Yeahhhhh?"

"Matt? Are you drunk...?"

He pointed at himself with a shocked yet drowsy expression. "ME? WHAAAAT. NO WAAAIIII!"

"...Drunks are disgusting."

"LIKE YOU. LOLOLOLOLOL."

"I'm not disgusting!"

"...Matt." Mello gave his friend a disapproving glare. "Stop saying 'LOL'. It's something you say on the Internet, not in real life."

The gamer, however, completely ignored the mafia member. "LOL, YOU DO NO-NOS WITH MELL-BELLINE."

He raised an eyebrow. "The f-?"

"…No-nos?"

"YEAH. LIKE, LIKE-" Goggle-head hiccuped in between his sentences. "LIKE... I DUNNO. LOL."

"What the fuck is a no-no?" Tori pressed on, irritated.

Matt didn't answer the question properly and began having retarded laugh-gasms.

"Matt, stop giggling. That's gay."

Mello gave the gamer a disapproving stare. "You're drunk off your ass…"

"OMG. KIRBY." The drunk male suddenly ran off, and pointed at a random passing male adolescent. "I CHALLENGE YOUUUUU TO A DUEL!"

The guy played along, thinking it was an invitation to some video game. "I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!"

"PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!"

"…Huh?"

"THUNDERSHOCK!" Matt jumped up and down by himself. "AND IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!"

"U-uh…" The other person gave him an odd look, turning to leave. "I'm gonna just go over there…"

"…Um, so are we gonna leave him here or what?" Tori asked, witnessing the scene.

Mello snickered. "Actually, this is pretty funny."

Then Alex came back again. "Damn, he's still here…"

Matt proceeded to pointing at the 19-year-old approaching Tori. "NO WAIT, A WILD RANDOM DUDE HAS APPEARED! CHARIZARD, GO GET HIM!"

"…PFFT." The blond teenager burst out into laughter.

On the other hand, Alex wasn't impressed. "What the fuck? Freak."

"DUDE. DO SOMETHING. FIGHT, POKEMON, ITEMS OR FLEE?"

'Wild random dude' ignored him and pulled Tori away. "A girl like you shouldn't be hanging out with freaks like them."

"What the-" The girl began fumbling for her gun. "Where is my gun?"

Mello twitched, walking up to Alex badass-ly. "Back off, _prick_."

He shoved her behind him. "What are you gonna do?"

"RANDOM DUDE WAS PARALYZED FOR NO REASON!" Matt continued yelling in the background. "CHARIZARD USED FLAMETHROWER!"

The teen in leather pants smirked. "Want to find out?"

"Yeah, from some guy that looks like a fucking girl."

"Found it!" Tori exclaimed, pulling out her gun. She shot it into a random crowd. "Okay, it works!"

"HERBET! A BEE STRUNG MY LEG!" an old lady hollered, the victim of the girl's bullet.

While this was happening, Mello aimed his gun at Alex's head. "Now fuck off."

Alex sneered. "You won't shoot."

"Don't piss me off."

He kissed Tori on the cheek. "Does this piss you off?"

Her expression turned to pure disgust. "EW EW EW!"

And so Mello shot his arm.

The male yelped in pain, letting go of the girl. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?"

"BULBASAUR USED BULLET SEED ON WILD RANDOM DUDE!" Matt announced. "IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!"

Tori ran to the blond teenager's side, who smirked once again. "I warned you."

A group of people heard the gunshot and screamed. "OMGZ DATZ TEH COUPLE FRUM TEH RESTURANT!"

Mello smacked his forehead for attracting attention. "Damn it. Hey, Matt?"

He appeared not to have heard him. "WILD RANDOM DUDE IS STILL PARALYZED!"

"...Eh, screw this." He grabbed the gamer and began dragging him. "RUN!"

"OWWW, DUUUDDDEEEE."

"Wait, something's in my shirt…" Tori reached into her shirt, pulling out a piece of paper. "What the fuck?"

"UNFOLD ME PLZ" was written upon it. She followed the instruction. There was a combination of random numbers, with "ALEX'S NUMBER" written under it.

"...Why the fuck did he put it in my shirt?"

A bullet suddenly flew through the piece of paper with great precision, destroying it completely. The teenage girl sucked in air between her teeth, looking up to see Mello aiming a gun. "I WAS STILL HOLDING THAT, Y'KNOW!"

"Don't worry, I have a good aim." He put his gun away.

"BUTTERFREE USED... SLEEP... POWDERRR..." Matt mumbled before passing out.

"…Great." Mello pulled the gamer. "Let's go back to the apartment."

"Nnngngnhhn…"

"Mello, we'll try that plan again once he's sober," Tori suggested.

"Okay."

* * *

A couple of hours later, Tori was asleep while Matt finally woke up, sober. He sat up slowly, his hand on his head. "Headache…"

A leather-gloved hand smacked him on the head. "That's for all the trouble you caused."

"Ow!" The teenager in the striped shirt winced, and then looked up with surprise. "Wait… Mello?"

The said blond scoffed slightly, taking a bite out of the chocolate bar. The two sat there in awkward silence, uncertain of what to say to each other after their argument. The anonymous voice had informed Mello that Matt tried to help him (although it was over something he is not admitting to), and he had not forgotten.

"Matt."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."


	9. The Amusement Park

"OW!" Tori woke up from rolling of the bed. "MELLO!"

Mello drowsily propped himself up against the bed using his elbows. "What…?"

"The plan. Is he awake? Go check!"

'He' meaning Matt. The blond teenager obeyed the command, opening a door slightly before peeking in. He was awake. Playing video games, as always.

Mello closed the door silently and crept back into his bedroom, reporting back to the girl. "Yeah, he is."

"What should we do, exactly? Something that will really shock him and make him want to punch us in the face after?"

Before he could answer, a loud yell came from Matt's room. "YES! I COMPLETED IT! YESSS!"

A second later, the gamer burst into their bedroom as he always do, except this time he had black eye bags under his eyes. "HOLY SHIT, DUDES. I WON! I FREAKIN' WON! All I sacrificed was a night of sleep!"

"…Good for you, Matt." Neither of them honestly cared.

"YES! EPIC OWNAGE!"

Tori began whispering while the games geek was busy dancing around. "Just pretend that I'm your girlfriend.

Mello nodded, although rather hesitantly. Seeing that he isn't about to make a move, the girl pulled his arms to rest around her shoulders.

Matt didn't even notice. "OH CRAP, I TRIPPED OVER MY PLAYSTATION!"

"...Um, okay Matt," Tori coughed, trying to get his attention. "I found your, er... charger for something.

"Where?" The male turned around, and stared hard.

Tori stared back, while Mello smirked.

"...Mello's arm is around your shoulders?" Good observation, Matt.

"I know?"

"…WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?" he demanded, upset that he was unable to witness or record the scene.

"Last night," his friend responded quickly. "While you were drunk."

"DAMN! I MISSED ALL THE ACTION?"

"Yup."

Matt muttered to himself before addressing the pair once again with a grin on his face. "So, who confessed first?"

"…" The chocoholic shifted awkwardly.

"Erm…"

The games-addict stared.

"…None of your business, Matt," Tori stated.

He continued staring.

"Uh... Mello did!" She pointed at the said male.

"Er, yeah."

"Hmm…" Matt tried to picture the love confession in his mind thoughtfully.

The pair watched, hoping he would fall for their prank.

Suddenly, the gamer burst into laughter. "YOU LIE. MELLO'S TOO CHICKEN TO DO THAT. LOLOLOL."

"Wh… WHAT?" a fuming blond hollered. "FUCK YOU, MATT!"

He began rolling on the floor, chortling his head off. "BWAHAHAHAHA!"

"FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU!" Mello swore excessively, tempted to attack his friend. "I'M NOT A CHICKEN!"

"HE'S NOT A CHICKEN, MATT!" Tori joined in, glaring.

Matt clutched his stomach, his face red from laughter. "CAN'T… BREATHE…"

"SHUT UP!"

He suddenly stood up abruptly. "Just kidding."

"…Huh?" Tori stared at the techno-genius as if he was insane while Mello raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Matt had a straight face.

"…What the hell's wrong with you?" The blond male couldn't help but back away slowly.

"Nothing?"

Tori sighed. "…Jeez, you're such an asswipe…"

"So, did you guys 'do it'?" Straight to the point.

"WHAT THE F-" The same words came out of the pretend couple's mouths. "HELL NO!"

"Okay okay, calm down! That was a joke too."

"Jesus Christ..." Tori smacked her forehead. "Not funny, Matt."

He raised his hands in defense. "Hey, you're the ones taking it so seriously."

They decided to drop the topic without verbally asking.

"So, what should we do today?" As if on cue to Tori's question, a flyer suddenly landed on Mello's head.

"What the heck is this?" He opened it.

"AMUSEMENT PARK. PLZ COME. MAFIA WELCOMED" was written on the flyer in large, bold letters. And also a noobish smiley face.

"Amusement park?" Matt snatched the flyer before scanning it, his eyes gleaming. "LET'S GO!"

* * *

Tori pointed at a row of Go Karts. "WE SHOULD GO ON THAT!"

"HELL YEAH!" The gamer placed his goggles over his eyes.

"MELLO! MELLO MELLO! GO ON WITH ME!" She hopped into the drivers seat. "I'm driving!"

The blond-head got in after. "I didn't know you could drive."

"Hehehe…"

"…Do you?"

The light flashed green for go. Tori didn't answer the question, and slammed down on the pedal. The cart jerked forwards.

"I have a bad feeli-"

Before Mello could finish his sentence, the teenager girl drove the cart into Matt's.

"Dude, I wasn't ready!" he complained, reversing out of the way.

Tori proceeded to slamming their cart into children and old ladies, while her partner was on the edge of the seat. "HOLY SHIT."

Matt suddenly crashed into the side of their cart. "HAR HAR."

"…" The girl slammed his cart into the wall in response.

"Ow!"

"CART NUMBER THIRTEEN, PLEASE STOP AT THE GATE AND GET OFF!" a speaker boomed. "YOU'RE MAKING A MESS!"

Tori pouted, now that her fun has been ruined, and pulls up to the side. "I didn't want to get off… But we have to!"

"Eh." Mello concealed his relief as he got off.

"POPCORN!" Matt was acting like an excited puppy, and ran off on his own.

"Look! Teacups!" The girl pointed at another direction. "I want on!"

"Okay?" The blond teenager shrugged, and sat down in a cup.

Another speaker began announcing a boring safety warning. "Please don't sit on the edge and k-"

"GO GO GO!" Tori yelled.

"WHEE, SPIN SPIN SPIN!" the giant cup shrieked. "OMG I'M GONNA HIT THIS CUP! JK, I LIED. HAHA, IN YOUR FACE!" No, not really.

She ignored the message of caution from the beginning and sat on the edge of the cup. "I'm flying!"

A worker immediately jumped up. "Please sit down properly!"

"Screw you."

"You're going to hurt yourself!"

"Wha- AHHH!"

The teacup suddenly whirled at a sharp turn, almost throwing Tori off, but Mello responded quickly and pulled her back into her seat.

"Be careful, damn it!" he scolded.

A small and light object flew across the sky and hit Tori on the head. "What the f-"

Another one also hit Mello. He picked it up, examining it. "Popcorn…?"

Then came a shower of popcorn, pelting them.

"…Matt!" Tori glanced around and caught sight of a certain red-head throwing popcorn. "MATT! FUCK OFF!"

He grinned. "NOPE."

A piece of popcorn missed the couple and hit a small child.

"BAWWW!" the child wailed. "I GOT BOOBOOZ ON MAH FOREHEAD. BAWWWW!"

"…Oops?"

* * *

"MELLO! LET'S GO ON THAT THING*!"

"Yeah, sure."

"YAY!"

They sat down in their seats and put on their seatbelts.

"…I'm scared!" Tori bleated, her hands clutching to the seatbelt.

"…Then why did you choose this ride?"

"I don't know! I th-"

And the ride started, sending all of the riders spinning and flipping in random directions.

Mello hadn't expected it to be like this, and his face twisted into lots of different expressions. "HOLY SH-"

"GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING RIDE!" the girl screamed. "HOLY FUCK! GET ME THE FUCK OFF!"

By the time the ride ended, Tori's face was green. She stumbled off. "Oh… my god…"

Mello jumped off the ride, almost tripping when he landed. The teenage girl began walking forwards in a drunken-manner. She stagger, about to fall into a random hole.

The blond teenager clumsily grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. She fell onto her back while he lied down on the floor.

"M-M-Mello…" the girl called weakly.

"Whaaat?"

"…What the heck?" Matt found the pair lying on the floor, and he pointed and laughed. "LOL."

"I can't see the world normally!" Tori reached her hand towards the sky, squinting.

"Neither can I… Everything's spinning…"

The adolescent in the striped shirt waved his hand in front of their faces.

"People are s- …AHH! WHAT WAS THAT!"

"Matt, stop it…" Mello smacked his friend's hand away.

"Wow, you guys suck," he chuckled.

"Screw you…"

"Chickens!"

"What did you say to me?" Tori demanded.

"I said, you suck!"

"Fuck you, Matt."

"Weeaaak!" he taunted, purposefully stretching the vowels. "You're both weeeaaaak!"

His best friend swiped a hand at him, missing terribly. "Shut. It."

"I need… help…" The girl finally managed to get up while Matt watched with amusement. She stumbled once again, about to fall into the same hole.

Matt grabbed Tori and pulled her firmly. "Sit your ass down!"

She collapsed back onto the ground. "Who just... grabbed me?"

"The popcorn did."

"I'M NOT DRUNK! FUCKING IDIOT!"

"I didn't say you were?"

* * *

Five minutes later, our hero and heroine of this story recovered to their normal state.

"MELLO! MELLO MELLO!" Tori pointed to roller coaster. "I want to go on that one!"

"It reminds me of Pokemon," Matt commented. "Deoxys!"

Mello raised an eyebrow. "…What?"

Goggle-head didn't bother to explain and neither did the chocoholic want to know. The trio sat down in their seats, with Tori next to Mello.

The ride lowered the safety bar. "ARE YOU READAAYYY?"

"I'm scared!' the teenage girl fretted, gripping onto the safety bar.

"Chicken!" Matt teased, imitating a chicken's clucking. "LOL."

"SHUT UP, MATT!"

He laughed wildly as the ride started, climbing up a sharp slope. "You're both such _losers_!"

Mello face-palmed. "Matt, shut it…"

"AHHH, NO NO NO!" Tori's eyes widened at the steepness of the slope.

"CHICKENS!" Stripy-shirt continued laughing as the car approached the very top. Time almost seemed to have stopped.

Tori grabbed Mello's arm. "THIS IS SCARY!"

Matt snickered. "YOU'RE SUCH A L-"

The car abruptly veered downwards at an extreme speed, the wind crashing into their faces like waves of water. Hypocritically, Matt opened his mouth and let out a high-pitched scream.

"AHHHHH!" the girl yelped, hiding her face in Mello's arm. "MELLO! I'M SCARED, I'M SCARED! I WANT TO DIE, I WANT TO DIE!"

The ride slowed down slightly as it reached the bottom of the slope, before climbing upwards again to the very top.

"NOT AGAIN! NOOO!" Tori continued, as the ride shot downwards like a bullet. "MELLO! MELLO, HELP ME!"

"SHUT UP, OLD LADY!" a kid yelled.

"…I'm not FUCKING OLD!"

Meanwhile, Matt continued bawling, covering his face with his hands.

"Matt, shut up!" Mello complained. "You scream like a fucking girl!"

Finally, the ride slowed to a stop. The red-head was still screaming, unaware that the torture has ended.

"Oh my god…" Tori gripped the blond's arms, shaking.

"Matt, it's over! Shut up!" He smacked his friend on the head unsympathetically. That's what he gets for calling _the_ Mello a chicken and a loser.

Matt paused, mid-scream, looking up rather stupidly. "…Oh. Right."

* * *

"Let's go on the haunted house ride!"

"Okay."

Mello took a seat in the front while Matt sat down next to him.

"…I WAS SITTING NEXT TO MELLO! GET UP, MATT!" Tori commanded. "GET UUUUP!"

"What? Why?" he whined, pouting.

"I'M SITTING NEXT TO MELLO!"

"…Sucks for you?"

She turned to the blond – centre of attention. "MELLO, WHO DO YOU WANT SITTING WITH YOU?"

"…I'm not deciding shit."

"COME ON, MELLO! PICK!"

The mafia member couldn't. "I can't…?"

"COME ONNNN!"

"You sat with Mello for the last one million rides," Matt argued.

"So? I sit next to him on this one!"

"Sucks."

"…" She shoved herself in between the two males.

A worker came along, gesturing to Matt. "Sir, two people per seat."

He gave the worker a bland stare.

"HAHAHAHAHA…!" Tori laughed.

"Fine, you win!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

Poor Mattie went to sit on his own.

"0MMGGZZ LYKE HI MATT!111!"

HOLY SHIT, IT'S TIFFY THE MELLO FANGIRL!

"...Ew?" he 'greeted' back.

The ride started, entering a dark man-made cave. A clown appeared. "Welcome to the ha-"

"AHHH! CLOWN!" Tori pulled out her gun and shot him.

"…Tori, calm down." Mello lowered her gun. They didn't need anymore public attention.

"Dude, this fatass is taking up all the space!" Matt grumbled. "I'm squished right against the edge!"

"SHUT UP, MATT!" the girl snapped.

"B-but…!"

A woman dressed up as a zombie approached Mello's side. "I'm gonna-"

"FUCK OFF!" Tori threatened, punching her. "MINE!"

Immediately afterwards, Alex, the loser who tried to hit on the girl in the last chapter, appeared. "I'm lost. Help me? Wait… YOU'RE THE GIRL FROM THE ARCADE! Got my number?" He winked pathetically.

Mello aimed his gun at him within a millisecond. "Fuck off."

"Whatever." He walked away like a total failure.

Then another creepy midget clown jumped out. "HAHAHA, I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU WITH MY LASER MIDGET POWERS!"

"AHHH! A MIDGET CLOWN!" Tori reached to pull out her gun again instinctively.

The blond teenager quickly grabbed her wrist. "They're not rea-"

A sudden explosion went boom in their faces, causing Tori to scream and Mello to wince in pain from the loud noise. Matt, however, was completely used to explosions without warnings.

"Mello, Mello! I'm scared!"

"Try closing your eyes?"

"BOO!" A ghost popped up out of nowhere. "I'M SCARY!"

"Boo yourself!" Matt gave the ghost a thumbs-down. "Your outfit sucks ass!"

His BFF snickered at his comment.

"L00K M3LL M3LLZ IM N4WT SCR3AMING! LUFF ME!" Tiffy attempted to get his attention. Then a carrot materialized beside her, yelling 'boo!'. She shrieked, "4HHHHHH!"

Random creepers continued jumping out at Mello. "BOO! I SCARE UR GURLFREND, U CREEPY SISSY GURLY GURL."

"…" He lost his self-control and punched the actors.

"K, i'm done scaring you, gtfo," the ride announced.

"That was _so_ gay!" Matt scoffed. "What a let-down."

Tori was still shaking. "Help me… Can't… get up…"

"STARTING AGAIN!" the ride suddenly declared as the car began moving forwards.

"NO! NO NO NO!"

* * *

The teenage girl was knocked out on her seat. Mello first shook her by her shoulders, then began prodding her arm when it didn't work. Poke poke poke.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" She jumped awake. "…Let's go on that water log ride!"

The group of three took their seat.

"I'M SCARED!" Tori pointed at a tall hill, shaking once again. "LOOK AT THAT!"

"YEY WE GO IN ZIG-ZAGZ!" the 'log' said in their imaginations. "U NEVER KNOW WHEN I MIGHT DROP."

"Help! MELLO, I-"

The said blond turned to face her. "What? HOLY SH-"

Then the 'log' dropped down, sliding along an abrupt slope.

"YEEEYYY!" the ride said. "WHOOSH! SPLASH! WATER ALL OVER U NAO!"

Tori flinched as droplets of water pelted her. "AHHH! The water's cold!"

Mello chortled.

"I'm fucking cold…" she shivered.

"Sucks." He took a bite out of his still-dry chocolate bar.

"...Why are you being mean to me now!"

The male smirked. "It's funny."

"...I'm not talking to you anymore!" She 'hmph'ed. "MATT! LET'S GO TO THE ARCADE!"

The gamer looked up in surprise. "Okay?"

* * *

**A/N:** I don't think I did the ending of this chapter very well. :U Here are the URLs to the pictures of some of the rides, since I fail at describing them.

_* = ._

_** = ._

_*** = ._

**Update:** JEWFOQIjfoiqiwne! won't display the URLs. I guess you'll just have to bear with your imaginations for now. ._.


	10. Bystander

Matt and Tori had just arrived at the video arcade, when-

"OMGZ DUDDEEEZ THERE IZ A CONTEST!" some other gamer hollered in the midst of a crowd. "WINNER GETZ BLACK OPS FOR XBOX!"

"…BLACK OPS?" Stripy-shirt squeezed between the bystanders, pushing to the front until he was out of sight.

"Matt!" The abandoned girl sighed.

Just then, a bunch of wannabe-gangsters stalked up to her, attempting to look cool and failing hard. One of them placed his hand on her shoulder. "OMG HEY GURLY."

"…Get off." The nasty hand was shoved off.

"U NO SHOVE ME!" the gangster yelled with extremely bad grammar, covering Tori's mouth.

"Mmmmffff!" She tried to grab her gun, but was dragged away by the rest of the losers.

Coincidentally, Mello was walking past and noticed the girl surrounded by the gang. "…What's going on?"

"WE TAKEZ U 2 A CREEPY ALLEY!" the gang shouted together stupidly, pulling the struggling Tori towards a direction. They probably rehearsed this.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what was happening. "Holy sh- HEY, MATT?"

But the sidekick was nowhere to be seen. He smacked his forehead exasperatedly. "Where the fuck is he when I need him?"

"TOTAL PWNAGE!" Matt came skipping out of the arcade with the Black Ops game in his hand. After spotting the blond-head, he shoved the game into his face, holding up two fingers as the victory sign with a cheesy grin pasted on his face. "Look, Mells! Black Ops!"

"There's no time for that!" Mello twitched irritably and pushed the game out of his face. "Tori is getting fucking kidnapped as we speak."

The gamer was still grinning about his epic win, completely not reacting to the abduction. "Lolwhut? Where?"

"Just follow me." The older prodigy didn't want to waste any more time and sprinted to the alley.

"LOL UR POWERLESS AGENST US!" the what-seems-to-be-the-gang-leader person cackled unpleasantly while Tori continued to struggle to no avail.

IT'S HERO TIME! Dun dun dun DUN DU- Sorry.

Suddenly, a voice cut through the air. "Let her go."

The leader frowned and loosened his grip on the girl slightly and glanced at the direction of the cool voice to see a sexy beast in leather in a badass pose, with a gun aimed directly at his head.

"WHO DA FAWK R YA?" he demanded.

The teenager smirked. "The name's Mello. Although, you didn't need to know that since you'll be dead soon enough."

"ACTLLY I DNT CARE HU U R. GTFO!" The leader tried to maintain his dignity pathetically, and reached his hand into his right pocket. As soon as he pulled out the gun he so cleverly hid there, a bullet impaled his hand, causing Tori to scream.

The gangster let out a hideous roar of pain, dropping his gun onto the ground. "OMGGG MAH HAND!"

The teenage girl used this chance to pull away and whipped out her gun, aiming at the other gang members who were busy talking to each other. "OMG HE SHOT DA LEADAH!"

"Now fuck off." Mello pulled out a chocolate bar, chomping on it coolly.

The gangsters obeyed and began running out of the alley. Tori shot them all in the legs.

"AHHHH!" they shrieked uselessly, falling to the ground.

"OMFG! U FAWKING SHOT MAH HAND!" The leader pointed at Mello accusingly. Took him a while to realize that. "DROP DA GUN, GURL!"

The girl re-directed her gun at the last standing gangster's head. "Make me. Not so weak anymore, am I?"

"I DUNNO HOW THO!"

She pulled the trigger mercilessly. The gun went boom, the blood went sploosh and the leader went bye-bye.

Matt walked into the scene. "Hey, wha- Whoa, bloodshed!"

The chocoholic placed one hand on his hip in a feminine fashion. "Matt, where the hell were you?"

"I was playing James Bond 007: Blood Stone on my DS."

"…"

"I just killed someone…" Tori was breathing heavily. "…But I'm still an innocent angel."

Mello shrugged. "If you say so."

"What? You don't think I'm innocent?"

"I didn't say that?"

"Then what am I?"

Matt jumped up and down on the spot like an excited puppy, raising his hand. "OH, I KNOW! PICK ME!"

"…Um. Go ahead, Matt."

"YOU'RE MELLO'S SECRET LO- …I mean, nothing."

Mello's evil glare of doom always works.

The girl stared. "…Huh?"

"Nothing."

She gave him an odd look before taking out her wallet. "I found money. Let's go the new sweets shop that opened last week!"

* * *

"I WANT THIS AND THIS AND THIS AND THAT, THIS TOO!" Tori was pointing to every confectionery in the store.

"R-right away!"

Mello was eyeing the mountains of chocolates like a hungry wolf. The red-head, however, was completely bored.

Another male worker gestured to the chocoholic. "What would you like, miss?"

'She' gave him an incredulous glare, burning him with invisible laser beams while slamming his fist down onto the counter. "I'M NOT A FUCKING GIRL!"

Tori took a step back. "U-uh... Mello, calm down."

A fangirl managed to distract the fuming teen from killing anyone. "OMGZ I NO UR NAME! UR TOMELLO! TEH NEW HOTTEST COUPLE FO SHO!"

The pair stared at her.

She screamed and giggled. "CAN I PLZ HAS UR AUTOGRAPH?"

"No."

"Wait, what's so special about it, anyways?" Tori asked.

"CAS ITZ FRUM TOMELLO! LOLOLZ PLZ LET ME TAKE A PICTURE WIT U!" The girl glomped Mello's arm.

He shook her off not-so-gently. "No, fuck off!"

Then the fangirl's boyfriend joined the small group. "OMGZ UR TOMELLO!"

"…Yeeeeeshhh..." the 'To' in 'Tomello' responded rather awkwardly.

"OMGZ UR SO DOLL-LIKE! UR SOO CUTE!"

"…Are you sure you're a guy?"

"IF I WUSNT DATING CHIRU, ID SOOO ASK U OUT!" He hugged the startled teenage girl.

And Mello punched him. "Gtfo."

"OMG Y SO PROTECTIVE?" the fanboy complained, then poofed with the fangirl.

Tori stared after them. "...I have fans? SINCE WHEN? How am I doll-like? I FUCKING KILL THINGS!"

"Don't ask me."

"...Jeez."

"Here are you chocolates, miss!" the worker said cheerfully, handing a bag to Mello.

He almost flipped the damn table over. "I SAID, I'M NOT A FUCKING GIRL!"

Tori tried to restrain the raging adolescent. "MELLO! NO! Calm down!"

The blond-head didn't listen and grabbed the worker by the neck of his shirt, shaking him violently. "CALL ME A GIRL AGAIN, I _DARE_ YOU!"

"I-I-I thought you were a girl… with your f-f-friend..." he stammered, eyes widening.

"DO I LOOK LIKE FUCKING FEMALE TO YOU?"

"I-I-I-I thought you w-were one..."

"YOU'RE GODDAMN BLIND!"

The terrified male was shoved into the wall, with several cups falling onto the ground and smashing into tiny pieces. He snivelled and scrambled away.

Hearing the clash of falling pottery, another worker rushed into the scene. It was Alex. "Hey, I remember you!"

Tori sighed. "Not again…"

"So, how's it goin'?"

"...F-fine?"

"Swing by often?"

Mello twitched.

"...Uh."

"So you like chocolates? I have tons at my place from Europe if you wanna come by to get 'em." Alex winked suggestively.

Twitch twitch.

"Uh… no thanks…"

"Ya sure? You can come by whenever you want."

"Uh…"

Mello shoved his gun at Alex's head. "STFU!"

"Calm it, girly. Sheesh."

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT I'M NOT A FUCKING GIRL?" He pushed the tip of the gun against Alex's head firmly.

"As many times as you want, girly." The loser turned his attention back to Tori. "I don't say that to lotsa girls, y'know."

"YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, Y-"

"Mello, you should not be using your weapons in public," a deep monotone voice interrupted.

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU TH-" The blond gaped, lowering his gun slowly. "...Hello, L."

"Uh… hi L?"

"Hello, Victoria."

"How'd you... How'd you know my full name?"

The well-known detective placed his thumb against his lips. "Mello told me back in chapter four. Do you not remember?"

"Hey L!" Matt flashed a grin.

"Hello, Matt."

"Guess what? MELLO AND TORI ARE A COUPLE NOW!" He was clearly deceived by the pair's prank.

"A couple?"

"…MATT!" Tori scolded.

"L needs to know about these stuff!" The gamer had a genuinely innocent expression on his face. "And yeah, a couple! You know, boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Ah, I see."

"I'M GOING TO SMASH YOU! SMASH YOU TO BITS, YOU ARSEHOLE!" The girl cracked her knuckles in a threatening manner, and then froze when she realized that L was staring at her. "…I mean… Haha?"

The hunched-over man addressed Mello. "I assume that you recall the gesture of friendship from the last time we spoke?"

Leather-pants shifted awkwardly. "…Yes."

Matt butted in. "Gesture of friendship? What's that?"

"It requires one individual to press their lips against another."

"Huh. Sounds like kissing."

Mello suddenly found the ceiling to be extremely fascinating, while Tori uttered an "…Uh oh."

"Is that the official term for the action?" L questioned.

The gamer blinked. "Yeah, of course."

"Ah."

Matt had to suppress a laugh when he thoroughly registered what the detective was saying. "Wait, _Mello_ was talking to_ you_ about _kissing_?"

"Yes."

He was unable to control himself any long, and burst out into laughter. "WHAT THE HELL, MELLS? LOLOLOLOL."

"…Matt, shut up." Mello clenched and relaxed his fist repeatedly, trying to contain his annoyance.

"Yagami-kun appears to not be my friend," L went on. "He responded negatively."

Matt had one hand around his stomach from laughing too hard. "Responded negatively to what?"

"To the action of kissing."

"…Wait, what? WHAT?" The red-head's eyes were rounder than the moon. "L _kissed_ Light Yagami?"

"Yes."

"…Mello, let's walk away," Tori whispered. The said male nodded and began sneaking off.

Matt went into another fit of hysterics, this time rolling on the floor as well as beating it. The other customers stared.

"May I ask what is so hilarious?" Poor L had no idea.

"YOU'RE NOT… SUPPOSED TO… KISS… YOUR FRIENDS," he gasped out between his laughs. "AT LEAST… NOT ON… THE LIPS..."

L just watched one of his potential successors rolling on the floor with a rather blank look in his eyes.

Matt wiped tears from his eyes, finally managing to calm down. "KISSING IS WHAT LOVERS DO! LIKE TORI AND MELLO!"

The detective looked hurt. "I have been deceived."

He brought out his laptop and showed the older male the video of Mello and Tori fighting over a bed.

"Why are the fighting, if they are a couple?"

"No, they're having sex."

Matt had meant it as a joke. Too bad L didn't realize that.

* * *

The pair had escaped to seek refuge in their apartment.

"Goddamn it…" Mello was panting heavily, his voice slightly shaky and un-Mello-like. He leaned against the wall, sliding down slowly in despair. "L will choose Near to succeed him now... I won't even have a chance!"

"Why…?"

He was completely frantic. "I _tricked_ him! I _lied_ to him! It was _my_ fault that he made a fool out of himself!"

"...Uh, there was really nothing else you could do?" Tori tried to comfort and reassure him. "I'm sure he would understand…"

Then Matt walked through the door. How did he get here so fast? Oh well.

"MATT, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TELL L?" the girl exploded.

"I just joked a bit with him." Cheesy grin. "I SAID YOU HAD SEX. LOL."

"WHAT THE FUCK…"

Mello, who had been sulking in the corner, began slamming his head against the wall. "Someone fucking kill me now…"

"Hey, I'm sure he knew it was a joke," he chortled.

"MATT! COME HERE!" she snapped.

"…Why?"

"Just come here."

He smartly ran the hell away. But there was something he forgot. A lot of things, actually.

"Asshole…" Tori muttered. She walked outside with Matt's games along with a lighter. After dumping gas over it, she lit it on fire before re-entering the apartment. "Mello?"

"What…?"

"...Need a hug?"

"Not really…"

"RING RING. SOMEONE'S CALLING!" the house phone yelled. "RING RING RING! HURRY YOUR ASS UP!"

Tori sat down next to Mello and answered the phone. "Uh… Hello?"

It was a distorted voice. "Are you Tori?"

"...No."

"Is it true that you and Mello have had... sexual intercourse?"

"What? WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?"

Matt randomly jumped in through the window and snatched the phone. "YES."

The girl stared at the unexpected event. "Wha-"

Then he jumped out of the window.

"MATT!"

The distorted voice was still speaking. "I see…"

"N-"

Disconnected.

"…Fuck."

* * *

"TURN ME ON, BABY!" the television commanded silently. Tori flicked it on. "BREAKING NEWS! MELLO AND TORI, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS TOMELLO, HAVE HAD SEX!"

She face-walled while Mello practically died on the floor.

"Now what...?" she sighed.

The blond nibbled on his chocolate bar absent-mindedly. "No idea..."

"Well, at least it wasn't about you and Tiffy?"

"I guess…"

"It could have been, if I didn't knock that camera out the window."

"Yeah..."

"At least it's me?"

"..."

"Cheer up?" she suggested.

"..."

"…For me?"

"..."

Matt reappeared once again. "Whoa, you guys made the headline in the local newspaper."

"FUCK DAMNIT!" Tori was now officially in depression mode.

"Hey, at least you've got fame?"

"Shut up. I'm going to take a shower." The girl got up and poofed to the bathroom.

Mello simply sat there with complete stillness, while the gamer was perched on the window ledge.

"WHAT THE FUCK? THEY DID IT?" Alex, standing in front of the two ex-Wammy students, had somehow found their address and got into their apartment.

"…Who the hell are you?" Well, Matt was drunk when he met him properly face-to-face.

"About to be that Brit's boyfriend," he scoffed arrogantly. "Looks like girly has her."

"Yep. Sucks for you."

Mello just stared at the floor blankly, not even responding to the insult 'girly'.

"She wasn't anything special anyway," Alex mumbled.

The chocoholic looked up sharply. "What?"

"…Oh shiiiit." Matt backed away slowly before turning fully and sprinting to the kitchen.

"THE BRIT WASN'T ANYTHING SPECIAL! Waste of time, really."

Mello stood up, walking up to Alex calmly. He grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer and drew back his fist.

FALCON... PUUUNNNCHH

_…Pop pop pop._

Alex was sent spinning to the ground. He clutched his face, gaping at the other male like the idiot he is. "What the fuck was that for?"

_Pop pop. Pop. _Something was making weird popping noises, coming from the kitchen.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?"

_Pop pop._ Matt peeked at the fight from the corner. _Pop pop pop pop!_

"What? You actually think she's worth somethin'?"

Mello kicked him roughly in the stomach. _Pop pop pop._

The victim began breaking down into a fit of crying and sobbing. "WAIT! TIMEOUT, MAN, TIMEOUT!"

_Pop pop! Pop!_

"GET THE FUCK OUT!"

"WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT HER?" Then he covered his head in fear. "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

_Pop pop pop pop! _Then there was a loud 'ding' noise. Matt emerged with a bag of microwaved popcorn, shoving them into his mouth and cheering. "GO, MELLO!"

"YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW, DAMN IT!" Mello roared at the cowering loser, ignoring the existence of the red-head. The games-addict didn't mind that and sat on the floor, munching on his food and watching the intense argument with interest.

"I'LL STOP HITTING ON HER ONCE YOU TELL ME!" Alex retorted.

_Munch munch crunch crunch._

"I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU." He pulled out his gun. "NOW GET OUT!"

"Damn, I dropped one…" Matt flicked the popcorn, sending it flying towards the couch, which then disappeared underneath. Hey, the trashcan was all the way across the room, and it's not as if anyone is going to go or even look under the couch anyway.

"SO YOU LIKE HER FOR NO REASON?" Alex shouted.

_Chomp chomp. Crunch crunch crunch._

The 'lion' refused to answer his question, pressing the gun onto his target's forehead. "I SAID, GET OUT!"

_Om nom nom nom._

"Nice to know a boyfriend likes his girlfriend for no reason," he retorted.

_Munch munch munch._ Matt finished his bag of popcorn, licking his fingers delicately. He scrunched up the bag and tossed it behind him. He can always pick it up and throw it away in the proper place later. If he remembers to, that is.

Mello smacked Alex across the face with the gun.

The gamer stood up. "…Er, Mell-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" was the response he received.

He shrugged and backed away. "Well, I tried."

Alex clambered onto his feet and shot out of the door, tripping a couple of times. Tori tiptoed in, having heard the noise from the argument. The blond was breathing heavily, his expression clearly showing rage.

"What happened to Mells?" She turned her gaze to the other male. "…What did you do this time, Matt?"

"It wasn't me, I swear!" he held up two hands in defence. "Some random dude came in and pissed him off."

"Who was it?"

"No idea."

"Mello…?" she called uncertainly.

"_What_?"

"Don't give me an attitude!" she folded her arms, displeased.

"…Psst." Matt poked the girl. "You should wait for him to calm down first."

"Fine, whatever," she muttered, exiting the room dramatically.

* * *

Tori sighed for the umpteenth time, kicking a rock.

Alex seems to have been hanging around the area. "Hey."

"…Hi?"

"TORI!" Matt yelled, running up to them. "TOOORRRIIIII!"

"What, Matt?"

"Have you seen m-" He paused to take off his goggles to inspect Alex. "Hey! It's the dude who called you a waste of time, making Mello punched him!"

Tori stared, her eyes widening.

"...Oops. So yeah, have you seen my games? I can't find them."

"What…?"

"I said, have you seen my video games?"

"You said something else."

"I can't find my games?"

"Before that?" she pressed on.

"…I forgot," he lied.

"Matt…"

The male teenager studied the concrete ground. "…Mellotoldmenottosay."

"But Tori told you to say."

"But Matt is listening to Me- Why are we talking in third person?"

"I don't know?" She quickly went back to the topic. "So Matt, tell me."

"But but but…!" Then he realized something. "Wait, I forgot! You're already a couple! I wonder why Mello told me not to say, then. Anyway, the dude was like "Tori's nothing special"."

"…And?"

"Then Mello got pissed at him for saying crap about you. That's pretty much it."

Tori had a confused look. "Why doesn't he want people talking crap about me?"

Just then, a certain blond-head was walking towards them. "S-"

"'Cause he _loves_ you, duh!" Matt replied to her question, entirely oblivious to Mello's presence.

The girl glanced at the mafia member, whose eyes were hidden by his golden bangs, giving off an intimidating aura. "…Uh oh…"

The gamer followed her gaze. "Oh, hey Mells! Didn't see you there."

Alex shouted for help, running away pathetically. "NOOO! GIRLY IS GONNA PUNCH ME!"

However, Mello's attention was on someone else.

"Uh...I should probably…" The teenage girl darted away.

"What? Why?" Matt blinked. "Tori?"

He also failed to notice that his best friend's fists were clenched so tightly that they were shaking.

"Mells? Why the silence?"

Mello exploded. "…LSDKJFASJDFPAIWF EIUFNWNF!"

Goggle-head jumped at the unexpected outburst. "Whoa, dude!"

"JSDNPINEFIUNPEUF!" He punched him while pronouncing more non-existing words.

"OW!"

The ball of raging fire raised a mighty flaming fist from hell, which was radiating with the power of a pie. "YOU LITTLE… GODDAMN… BASTARD OF A…!"

Matt decided this was the right time to run for his life.


	11. Trip to the Mall

**A/N:** Sorry that I didn't make this clear in the previous chapters: Mello and Tori share the same room, but they have different beds. Tori sleeps on an air bed. I sleep in the bathtub over there.

Also, today is 13th December, otherwise known as Mello's birthday! There is a chapter in this story that is _supposed_ to be published today, but I have been behind schedule on releasing the installments lately. Sorry, Mello and readers. ; A ;

Also, once you've read this chapter, you'll see that Matt said something about chloride of lime. I have no idea what that actually is, but it just sounded science-y and smart. *idiot* I heard it mentioned in my biology class, and it has something to do with disinfecting. It's probably not used for cleaning raw wounds, so if you ever happen to get shot in the arm and stumble across a bottle of chloride of lime, **do not **use it, otherwise you might suffer from intense burning or something. But you can use it to wash your non-injured hands. :D But doing it too much makes your skin rough and spazzy, or something. Okay, I'll shut up now. ._.

* * *

"Melloooooo."

"Yeah?"

"Wake up…"

"I'm already awake."

Boom. Tori's air bed exploded for no reason.

"WAH!"

Mello sat up, running a hand through his sexy hair. "What the fuck was that?"

"THE AIR BED EXPLODED!"

"…We need to get a new one now."

"TO THE MALL!" Matt suddenly burst into the room, as if he had been there the whole time. "I need new games too. My old ones mysteriously disappeared…"

"They didn't catch on fire, that's for sure!" the teenage girl laughed nervously.

"…What?"

"OKAY, LET'S GO!"

* * *

"Mello, I want to take your motorcycle." Tori pointed at the vehicle. "I've never been on one!"

The blond-head stared for a few moments, thinking. "…Nah."

"COME ON, MELLO."

"No," he said firmly. "We're taking Matt's car."

"MELLOOO."

"_No_."

"To the car!" the ignored gamer announced, skipping ahead.

"If you don't then I will, and I'll crash into something and kill myself." Tori went on.

Mello smirked at her naivety. "It's locked."

"I'll find your keys."

"You don't know where they are."

She reached into his stash of chocolate bars, and pulled out the keys. "Found them."

"Dude, hurry up!" Matt urged. "I can't live without games."

"ASDFIUHWID!" The chocoholic tried to snatch the keys, but failed.

Tori ran outside to the motorcycle, hopping on it. "You gonna drive it or let me crash it?"

"If you crash it, you'll only end up getting yourself hospitalized."

"…Screw you guys. You're both too slow!" the redhead complained, entering his car and driving away by himself.

"Look at that, Matt left!" the girl pointed out. "We have no choice now! WE HAVE TO TAKE IT NOW!"

"Why?"

"Matt left."

Mello raised an eyebrow. "And? We could always walk, or take public transport."

"COME ON, MELLO!"

"…Fine." He sighed and tossed Tori a helmet, while putting on his own before getting on his motorcycle.

"Yay!" She put on her helmet. "Is there a seatbelt?"

"…No."

"Then what do I hold on to?"

Mello let out a snort of amusement. "What do you think?"

"WHAT DO I HOLD ON TO? WHAT DO I DO? MELLO!"

"Use your common sense!"

Tori searched for something to hold on to. "…There's nothing to hold?"

"…Me."

"…Oh." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "GO GOOO! Before I change my mind!"

And so the motorcycle went 'vroom vroom' to the mall.

* * *

Tori was trembling with a death grip on Mello, who was taking off his helmet.

"…Why are you shaking?"

"That was scary!"

"…How so?"

"It just was!"

"OMGZ OMGZ, IT'S TOMELLO!" a crowd of crazy fangirls shrieked.

The blond teenager snacked his forehead. "Shit."

"Can't… move…" Tori was still shaking. "Help."

"How?"

"…Carry me?"

Mello quickly picked up Tori bridal-style as the fangirls approached closer and closer.

"RUN, MELLO!"

He obeyed the command and ran, chased by the fans.

"OMGZ WAIT I HAZ TO THROW SHET AT U TO GET UR ATTENTION!"

The male turned around to yell a "Fuck off!".

"OMGZ YUR GETTING CLOSE!" a talking door yelled, then the couple paused by it. "YEY UR HERE!"

Mello had a disbelieving expression. "What the f-?"

"…Just open the door."

"Stop ordering me around," he retorted, but still opening the door anyway. Silly hypocrite.

He put Tori down onto the floor, now that they were safe from the stampede of Tomello fans.

"…Now what? Should we find Matt?" the girl asked.

"Yeah, sure."

Mello headed towards a games store where the gamer would probably be, while Tori walked into a sweets shop.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S THE NEWEST _HACKER EVOLUTION COLLETION_!" Matt was talking to himself as his best friend approached him. "Holy shit!"

"Hey, Matt."

He ignored him. "_Qlione Evolve_? Whoa!"

"...Never heard of it."

Meanwhile, Tori walked out of the store with a huge bag of chocolates and entered the games store.

"This is _epic_. Pure win!" The redhead was still going on and on, grabbing games from the shelves. "I lost my Kirby one too!"

The girl stared. "…What the…"

"SUPER MARIO GALAXY. I LOST THIS ONE TOO!"

"…Havin' fun there, Matt?"

"Damn straight!" He seems to have finally noticed the two, but he didn't look up and continued searching for more games further in the store.

Tori shrugged and pulled out a chocolate bar, waving it in front of Mello's face. His hand automatically reached up to grab it.

"...Uh, Mello?"

"What?" Om nom nom.

"I was about to e- Wait, that's the same kind of chocolate bar you snatched from me the first time we've met!"

"Really?" Mello didn't react, continuing to shove chocolate into his mouth. "Oh."

"…I want it."

"Too late. I ate it."

Matt came back with a gigantic bag, giving off sparks of enthusiasm and excitement. "HEY, GUYS. LOOK, LOOK!"

Tori pulled out another chocolate bar. "What, Matt?"

He took out a game. "It's _Need for Speed: Nitro-X_!"

"No one cares," Mello scowled.

"I've been_ dying_ for this game."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Matt."

"I'm going to play this when I get back!" he continued gleefully. "It even has a La-"

The game suddenly hit the floor with a loud smack.

"Tori, that was completely uncalled for!" Matt whined, picking up the game and cuddling it as if it is a small animal.

"I'm leaving you and your awkward moment with your... game…" She shook her head dismissively, walking towards a random store. "Come on, Mello."

Alex the Loser appeared out of nowhere. "Hey… your name?"

"Not again…" the girl sighed. "Why are you always creeping up on me?"

"Your name?"

"Do you have a death wish?" Mello snarled.

"With her? Anytime, girly."

Punch.

"MELLO!" Tori scolded.

"What the hell was that for, girly?" Alex hollered, punching back.

"DON'T PUNCH MELLO!" she yelled, turning onto the other male and pulling out her gun. "Fuck, you're always creeping on me…"

A chorus of screaming erupted from the bystanders. "OMGZ ITZ DAT COUPLE FRUM TEH RESTURANT!11! AHHH!11! 0MGZ I NO! L3TZ SH00T T3H COUPL3 B4CK!1!"

The crowd simultaneously aimed their guns at Tori.

"What the f- HOW DO YU HAVE GUNS? Where's my-" She caught sight of a little kid holding her gun.

The crowd were still aiming at the frozen Tori. Mello whipped out his gun like a skilled secret agent, shooting the crowds' guns, sending them flying off in random directions.

"OMG WHERE DID MAH GUN GO?"

Then there was a loud explosion.

Tori fell onto the ground with a thud. She fumbled with fake blood capsules and bites them open while no one was watching. "…I GOT SHOT! OW OW OW!"

"Tori! Holy sh-" The chocoholic immediately ran to her side, picking her up. "MATT! CAR."

"Hm? What happ-" Matt was still cuddling his games, as if he was entirely oblivious to the uproar.

"CAR. _NOW_."

"Alright, calm down!" He glanced at the red patch forming on Tori's arm. "…It's just a minor wound."

"I can't feel my arm," the girl reported. "Sort of…"

"HURRY UP!" Mello demanded, agitated.

"Okay, okay! Chill, Romeo!" Matt joked with a mock salute, running to the mall's car park.

"Oh no, there's the sharp pain. Now it's burning. ...Ow."

Within a matter of seconds, the redhead drove the car over. Mello carefully placed Tori in the car and got in as well. "FLOOR IT!"

The girl sat up, reaching up a hand feebly. "Wait, your motorcycle…"

"I DON'T CARE!"

"I'm sorry…?"

* * *

"MATT. BANDAGES." Mello continued giving out orders after placing the girl on the couch.

The gamer held up a bottle, lightly swirling the liquid inside. "Ethanol?"

Both Mello and Tori stared at him.

"What? It decreases the risk of infections!"

More staring.

"…Whatever!" he muttered, rummaging through a cupboard.

Ten minutes later.

"…Now what?" Tori questioned while sitting up, her wound neatly bandaged.

A jolt of realization hit Matt. "Wait, did you get a bullet inside you?"

She bit more fake blood capsules, which were hidden in her mouth. "There's blood coming out of m-"

"Shit." Mello swore as the blood dribbled down. "We can't go to the hospital otherwise they would ask questions…"

"Guess I'm gonna die. Anything else you need to say to me, _Mello_?"

"It's just a graze, dude." The redhead couldn't see why his best friend was so frantic about it.

Tori coughed. "…Shut up, Matt."

"BUT IT COULD LEAD TO AN INFECTIOUS DISEASE!" the leather-panted genius blurted out.

"Yeah, should've put chloride of lime on it or something."

"...SHUT UP, MATT!" she yelled.

"What? I'm trying to help!"

"...Piss off, it's in my arm." Tori lied back down onto the couch.

"It is?"

"…Yeah."

"Then why did you bandage the wound, Mello?"

The blond-head stared back blankly. "I… It was an emergency."

"NO NEED TO UN-BANDAGE THEM!" Tori inputted.

"If we don't, the bullet would still be inside you and new skin would grow over it," Matt objected. "Then shit's gonna happen."

"...I'M GOING TO DIE EVENTUALLY SO SHUT UP!"

He pouted and shrank back dejectedly.

"So yeah, any last words?"

Mello suddenly jumped up without answering the question. "HOSPITAL. NOW!"

The games-addict opened his mouth. "Bu-"

"NO. ANY LAST WORDS?" Tori interrupted.

The blond prodigy picked her up, taking her to Matt's car. "MATT, GET IN."

The redhead shuffled over reluctantly. "But they-"

"Jesus Christ…" The teenage girl sighed in frustration. "No, Matt. NO."

"SHUT UP AND DRIVE!" More commands from Mello.

"MATT, GET OUT." Disagreement from Tori.

"I-" Matt tried to speak.

"NO, STAY. MATT, GET OUT!"

"GET IN!"

"SHUT UP!"

"…I'm very confused now." The gamer took a step back, shaking his head.

"JUST STAY INSIDE!"

"GET YOUR ASS IN AND _FLOOR_ IT."

"SHUT UP. NO, STAY IN!"

"I GIVE UP!" Matt raised his hands in defeat, before walking away.

"FUCK, MATT!" Mello swore, glaring at the retreating figure.

"…Any last words?" Tori pressed on.

"You're still going to the hospital!" He got into the driver's seat.

"NO, COME ON. DO THE LAST WORD-" She sat up, her hand on the back of the front seat. "FUCK. STOP IT. NO!"

The blond-head ignored her and pulled a lever while pushing down a pedal. The car began reversing at an insane speed.

"Shit!" he swore, fiddling with the keys. It's been a while since he last drove a car, apparently. "Looks like I'll just have to drive backwards."

"MELLO! WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERNED?" Tori yelled.

"YOU'RE DYING!"

"NO! MELLO, STOP! WHY DO YOU CARE?"

The car backed out into the roads. The other cars swerved dangerously around the red vehicle.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE DYING, DAMN IT!"

"SO? WHY DO YOU CARE? UGH, DAMN! CAN YOU… SCREW IT!"

Mello pressed down the pedal down even more, muttering to himself. "Can't this thing go faster?"

"MELLO! DO THE LAST WOR-"

Matt's car slammed into another car, heavily damaging both vehicles. Fortunately, no one was in the other car, otherwise they wouldn't be able to get away with it. Tori closed her eyes and suddenly let her body go limp, crashing onto the seat.

"Fuck! Driving is-" he paused. "…Tori?"

She bit another blood tablet.

"…Tori!"

He undid his seatbelt and climbed to the back. "TORI."

No response.

"TORI!" Mello grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "WAKE UP, DAMN IT!"

Silence.

Then a sudden thought struck him. He reached out his index and middle finger, placing them on her neck just where her pulse would be. Thump thump thump. Still alive. The chocoholic inwardly breathed a sigh of relief, and flicked her forehead.

Still silence. Tori was holding her breath.

"…I know you're not dead."

She began turning purple due to the lack of oxygen. Mello just stared, not amused.

The girl suddenly opened her eyes, coughing and gasping for air.

The male sat back, smirking smugly. "I knew it."

"…You were still worried about me."

"So?"

"_D'AWWW! MELLO CARES ABOUT TORI!_" Oh great, the anonymous voice was back again.

He pulled out his gun, wanting to shoot the person.

"_YOU CAN'T SHOOT ME! I'M IN YOUR MIND!_"

"What the fuck…"

"…Uh, so…" Tori began, rather nervously. "Hehe?"

Mello glanced around and was reminded of the car wreck. "Matt's going to be pissed…"

"…I was never here!" The girl darted out of the car and ran back to the apartment.

* * *

"YOU TRASHED MY _WHAT_?"

Tori was standing at one side awkwardly, while the main culprit was scratching the back of his head. Matt's shaky hands were clutching his friend's shoulders, his eyes widened.

"…I trashed your car…" Mello repeated, trying to avoid the red-head's eyes.

"Mello did it!" the teenage girl reinforced, defending herself.

The gamer's grip loosened. He took a small wobbly step back, breathing heavily.

"…Right now, it's in the middle of the road somewhere."

He began making gasping and wheezing noises, almost hyperventilating and close to breaking down.

Tori rubbed his back. "In… and out… Breath in… and out…"

Then energy drained out of Matt's body as he passed out, collapsing onto the floor.

Mello stared at the motionless body. "Well, this isn't good..."


	12. Mello's Birthday

"Drag Matt outside," Tori ordered.

Mello glanced at the defenceless body of the games addict. "Why?"

"Come on, Mello! It's payback!"

"Right."

He grabbed Matt's ankles while the girl grabbed his wrists and together they lifted the body up and placed him outside the apartment. Then the pair went back in and locked the doors and windows.

"Let's see if he can survive a night without video games…" Tori commented evilly. "What should we do now?"

"Nothing, I guess," he replied boringly.

"…Mello! MELLO!"

"What?"

She jumped up and down excitedly. "Guess what tomorrow is!"

"The thirteenth of December."

"Yeah, and…?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Monday."

"AND?"

"And that's it."

"YOUR BIRTHDAY!"

Mello leaned against the wall indifferently, taking a bite out of his chocolate bar. "I'm aware."

The excitement vanished from the Tori's eyes. "…Dude."

"What?"

"Be excited."

He shrugged. "It's nothing special."

"You don't know my birthday, do you?"

"Nope."

"What the… You could ask…? Do you even know how old I am?"

"Seventeen?" Mello guessed randomly.

"Okay, good. ...By the way, what kind of cake do you like?"

"Chocolate?"

"Okay! I'll be back!" With that said, she grabbed some of her belongings and dashed out of the door.

* * *

Tori returned thirty minutes later with a huge bag, instantly shooting out another order. "MELLO! GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

The blond-head's expression had a mixture of stubbornness and curiosity. "Why?"

"Just do it!"

"I want a reason."

"DO IT OR ELSE I WILL KILL MYSELF!" the girl yelled out of desperation.

Mello gave her a skeptical stare, but walked away to his room anyway.

"Heheh." Tori dropped the large bag and hid it in a place.

"Chirp chirp, I saw you!" A familiar yellow canary somehow flew into the apartment despite the windows being locked.

"SHUT UP, BIRD!" was the polite greeting.

The animal fluttered around obnoxiously, the sound of its flapping wings filling the room. Tori picked up a baseball bat, raising it in preparation for a strike.

"That's animal cruelty, chirp!" the bird tweeted, soaring out of reach.

"PISS OFF!"

"Okay!" The canary took the statement literally and took a dump on the sofa before flying away. "BAI BAI!"

"...Hm." Tori thought of a super evil plan and scribbled the following message on a note: "_Kira's duty :)_"

"MELLO, I-" She suddenly dropped onto the floor, feigning death.

Hearing the sound of his name, the chocoholic emerged from his room, only to see Tori lying on the floor. "...What happened?"

No response.

"Tori?" Then Mello finally saw the note sitting near the motionless body. He picked up the piece of paper. "Kira's duty?"

Complicated deducing and calculations began running through the prodigy's mind. "Why would Kira want to kill Tori?"

"KIRA MUST BE A FANGIRL!" the anonymous voice concluded.

"But Kira's male."

"THAT'S GAY!"

"Kira thinks of himself as justice, so he wouldn't kill someone for his personal interests."

"Maybe Kira is like you and Tori, and would kill anyone that's in his way!" the voice offered.

Mello ignored that possibility. "Besides, how did he even find out Tori's full name? Even I don't know her last name. That means he has an accomplice with shinigami eyes, most lik-"

"BOO!" Tori yelled, grabbing the male teenager by the collar.

"WHAT THE F-" He pushed the hand away instinctively and jumped onto his feet before realizing who the attacker was. "What the fuck, Tori!"

"HAHAHAHA!" She fell into a fit of giggles.

Mello just stared, clearly not amused.

"…I'll go away now."

* * *

Meanwhile, outside the apartment, Matt had just woken up. He squinted and surveyed his surroundings, noticing that he wasn't indoors. He banged his fist on the door. "Dude, what the hell?"

"What was that? Who's at the door?" Tori asked.

"Matt."

Bang bang bang. "Anybody there…?"

"Just leave him."

"Eh, okay."

Bang bang bang bang bang.

"SHUT UP, MATT!" Tori yelled.

"DUDE, LET ME IN!"

"I'M NOT A DUDE!"

"FINE, _DUDETTE_. LET ME IN!" the locked-out redhead wailed, kicking the door. He didn't have his DS with him, not to mention the chilly December weather.

"…No."

"Why not?"

"Revenge."

"…Come on, let me in! My Nitro-X game and DS are in there! I want to play it!"

Tori snickered. "Mello, let's play!"

The blond head glanced up, as if unaware of Matt's desperate pleas. "Play what?"

"Nitro-X, or whatever. Or maybe Black Ops."

"I'll pass. I've never had an interest in video games."

"…So? I don't either."

"Then what's the point?"

"To make Matt jealous."

Mello was still reluctant. "Eh."

"…Fine."

"Come on, just give me the game!" Matt continued on the other side of the door. "Please?"

"SHUT UP, MATT! I'M BUSY!" Tori responded unsympathetically, entering the kitchen with bags full of chocolate.

The gamer was silent for a few minutes, apart from the sound of a gun loading. Then there was a loud explosion-like noise and a high-pitched ping. And a swear word. "SHIT!"

Mello raised an eyebrow. "Matt, what the fuck are you doing?"

His best friend didn't answer the question. "Ouch, shit! Shiiiiiiiitttt!"

Tori came out of the kitchen with chocolate smeared on her face, annoyed by the huge racket. "SHUT UP, MATT! GODDAMN!"

A certain leather-clothed male stared.

"…Uh oh."

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Matt swore excessively.

"SHUT UP, MATT!"

"God damn it! Why did I do that?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A RETARD. NOW SHUT UP!"

"_Great_! This is just fucking _great_!" He didn't seem to have heard the girl's words. Then he feebly knocked on the door. "…Help?"

Tori returned to the kitchen, grumbling swear words.

"…Guys? Help?" Matt's voice went on weakly. "Please?"

"SMELL ME, MELLO!" the scent of chocolate said silently. "I'M WONDERFUL."

Mello walked into the kitchen, curious.

"MELLO! GET OUT!" Tori scolded, bashing his legs with a broom. "SHOO!"

"Ow!" He scowled, walking away. "Tch."

"Hehehe."

The redhead was still calling for help. "H-help? Someone?"

* * *

Matt had gone silent.

"I'm done!" Tori announced, walking out covered with chocolate stuff.

Mello glanced up. "Done with what?"

"Nothing. …DON'T EAT ME!"

He gave the girl a weird stare. "I'm not a cannibal."

* * *

Early in the next morning, Tori sneaked into the kitchen and pulled out the chocolate cake she had baked yesterday. She tiptoed into Mello's room, who was still asleep, and opened the window. Then she pulled out a gun, and pulled the tri-

BOOM.

"OWENQPIWNF!" Mello jumped out of his bed and aimed his gun at random directions frantically.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MELLO!" Tori yelled, holding the cake out towards him.

He lowered his gun slowly and stared.

…

"…Mello?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy birthday?"

"…Thank you."

"…Let's try that again." The teenage girl went back into the living room and opened the front door cheerfully. "Hi Matt!"

The poor gamer had been outside in the freezing temperature for an entire night, with his face completely pale. And his right leg covered in blood. He reached out a numb hand shakily. "Help… me…"

"…Alrighty then!" She left the door open and walked back into Mello's room. "MER- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Mello raised an eyebrow. "Why are you saying it again?"

"You weren't happy the first time."

"I never said I wasn't?"

"I made the cake by myself!" The girl pulled out a lighter and set the candles on fire. "MAKE A WISH NOW!"

Mello blinked, staring.

"MAKE A FUCKING WISH!"

"A wish?"

"Yes, a wish."

He immediately blurted out his lifelong ambition that everyone already knows about, pointing at the sky dramatically, even if there's a ceiling in the way. "I'M GONNA BEAT NEAR AND BECOME NUMBER ONE!"

"…Uh, alright. Blow out the candle now," Tori said awkwardly to the chocoholic, who did so. "Yay, let's eat!"

The teenage girl took out a knife and began slicing the cake, while the ignored Matt had dragged himself into the living room, lying face-down on the ground.

"LOLOLOL!" the knife somehow laughed, slicing Tori's finger.

"OW!" She pulled away. "I JUST CUT MY FINGER! OWWW!"

Mello tossed random bandages to Tori, who wrapped up her finger carefully and resumed slicing the cake. "Cake's ready to eat! …WAIT, THIS ALSO MEANS… Time for Christmas shopping! And what happened to-" She glanced behind her. "MATT! GET IN HERE!"

Matt didn't move or respond.

"…We'll get him later."

His so-called BFF came out of his room and saw the gamer lying on the floor in a bloody mess. "Matt? What the hell?"

Tori followed behind. "MATT. MATT?"

The redhead was unconscious.

"…He had it coming."

"He'll recover." Mello dragged the body onto the couch.

"…OH MY GOD! THERE'S A VIDEO GAME CONVENTION OUTSIDE!" Tori yelled as an attempt to wake Matt up. "FREE VIDEO GAMES TO WINNERS!"

Didn't work.

The girl brought out towels that have been soaked in water form the bathroom. "Wash the blood off him…"

Mello did as he was told. "What now?"

"Leave him?" she shrugged. "My birthday's soon. Guess when it is!"

"...No idea?"

"GUESS!"

"January?"

Tori shook her head. "Nope."

"February, then?"

"February…? IT'S HOW OLD I'M TURNING!"

"Eighteenth."

"YAY! WATCHA GONNA GET ME?" she asked excitedly.

"...Why would I be telling you?"

"...I'm gonna find out eventually."

"But I'm not telling you _now_."

"Can we go Christmas shopping today?" Tori urged. "Before everything is sold out?"

"Yeah, sure."

Then she realized something. "MELLO! The car is somewhere… And you left your motorcycle there…"

"NEEDFORSPEEDNITRO-XOMFGDS?" There was a random outburst from Matt. He had jumped onto his injured leg and fell back down from the sudden sharp pain. "Ow, shit!"

The pair acted as if they didn't hear anything. "We'll have to walk, I guess."

"LET ME GET MY JACKET!" Tori declared, running out of the living room.

"_Hey, Mello!_" The return of the anonymous voice.

"You again?"

"_Why don't you ask Tori out on a real date? ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT?_"

"Piss off!" Mello retorted rudely.

"_What's the point of fake dating? Everyone already knows you two are perfect for each other! DATE FOR REAL!_"

Tori came out in Mello's jacket, saving him from replying to the voice.

"…That's my jacket."

"I know."

"_STILL HERE!_" The voice pressed on. "_ANSWER ME BEFORE I TELL TORI!_"

Mello smacked his forehead in exasperation from the voice's persistence. "Seriously, fuck off."

The invisible person decided to approach a different method. "_HEY MATT!_"

"Huh?" Matt looked up from the game he had found a few minutes ago. "Hey."

"_DON'T YOU THINK MELLO AND TORI SHOULD DATE?_"

"…But they're already a couple?" Stripy-shirt still hadn't realized that the pair had pulled a prank on him back in chapter nine.

"_SO YOU TOLD MATT?_" The voice directed this towards Mello. "_THAT YOU AND TORI ARE A COUPLE?_"

"...Yeah?" he replied uncertainly.

"_THEN WHY DON'T YOU DATE FOR REAL?_"

Matt was just about to play on his DS again and did a double take. "Huh? For real?"

Mello face-palmed. Game over.

"YOU LIED!" The redhead jumped onto his left foot, balancing on his uninjured leg and pointing at the blond victoriously, which- Yeah, looked pretty stupid. "But that isn't too surprising, since you both refused to answer my questions right at the start!"

"…WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MATT?" Tori yelled, impatient from waiting. She was unable to hear the voice. "WHY ARE YOU MAKING FACES AT THE AIR, MELLO?"

"We're talking to a figment of our imagination." Matt wobbled slightly, thrusting out his arms to improve his balance.

"Flipping hell!" she complained. "ANSWER ME PROPERLY!"

Neither of the male teenagers could explain.

"FINE, I'M IGNORED!" the girl snapped. "Excuse me while I go do drugs."

"You don't have drugs," Mello countered rather aimlessly.

"MELLO LOVES TORI! MELLO LOVES TORI!" the voice chanted in the background.

"…So? Can we go now?" Tori continued.

"_MELLO IS IN LOVE WITH A BRIT!_" the unseeable person taunted. "_I'M GONNA TELL TORI!_"

"NO, DAMN IT!" the chocoholic exploded.

"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, JUST TELL ME!" The girl thought Mello was replying to her question. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL!"

"…I wasn't talking to you?" he answered, slightly apologetic for causing a misunderstanding. But it's still that voice's fault.

"LET'S JUST GO, MELLO!"

* * *

"What do we need to buy?" Mello glanced around the mall, unsure of what to do.

"Gifts? I like… chocolate, clothes, shoes and other crap!" Tori rambled on. "I also need a new jacket. Oh! And I like stuffed animals! Or a necklace. Then I can wear it! …What do you want?"

He shrugged. "I don't want anything, really."

"COME ON, MELLS! What do you waaant?"

"…Chocolate?"

"OKAY, BYE!" The girl took off running to a chocolate shop, picking up every bar, leaving Mello to stand there on his own. His phone began ringing after a few minutes.

He picked it up. "Yeah?"

"I'm done!" Tori reported.

"Okay?"

"BEEP! YOU MADE YOUR GIRLFRIEND FEEL AWKWARDZZZZ!" the phone informed Mello. Somehow.

"...So what now?" the girl asked.

"We go back?"

"What the f- MELLO?"

"Hm?"

On the other side of the phone, a gang had grabbed Tori. "WE R SO GANGSTAAHHHRRRSSS!"

"...What's going on?"

* * *

**A/N:** After around a week of procrastination, this is the chapter that is meant to be publish on Mello's birthday! Yay! And to explain what happened to Matt: Since he was locked outside, he shot the door lock with his gun, but the bullet deflected and hit him in the leg. Poor Mattie. ._.


	13. Police Chase

**A/N: **I'm seriously so behind on the chapters. OTL The Christmas one that is supposed to be published today isn't written yet.

* * *

"SHUSH, YA DIG?" the gang snapped at Tori.

"FLIPPING HELL!"

"WE TOLD YA TO SHUSH, GAL!"

"Where are you?" Mello demanded through the phone.

"AT THE CHOC-"

"SHADDAP!" the gang interrupted, knocking Tori's phone out of her hand.

But that was already enough for Mello to know. He immediately began sprinting towards the chocolate shop.

The gang leader held a gun at the girl's head. "I'M SO GANGSTAH CAS I CAN DEW DIS, DAWG!"

A bullet impaled the leader's hand, coming from the gun of a certain heroic blond head. Another gangster shot Tori in the leg in response.

"THAT KIND OF HURTS!" she hissed.

"FUCK OFF." Mello lost his composure and shot the other gang members with professional skills.

"MELLO. MY LEG… IT'S…"

"Where the fuck is Matt when I need him?" he muttered, reloading his gun.

"…Forget it, I'm fine. Damn."

The male teenager glanced at the girl. "What?"

She pointed to her leg. "Ow?"

"We'll have to walk to the hospital…" Mello picked her up without consulting her first, running out of the mall.

"...Why must you make this so much like a Twilight scene?" Tori complained. "This is _so_ gay."

The chocoholic has never read the series. "Twilight scene?"

"Yeah. You know, that gay movie that comes out every year? It's like, I'm Bella and you're Edward." She paused before going on. "And Matt's that wolf kid."

Mello raised an eyebrow.

"Except you're not a sparkly fag."

"That's good to hear?"

"…Yeah. Do you even know where we're going?"

"Yes." The prodigy looked around, not sure whether to go left or right. "…No."

"…Goddamn."

"Lalalala, what a lovely winter morning!" some overly-happy stranger sang, strolling along the pavement.

"HEY, BYPASSER!" Mello roared aggressively. "WHERE'S THE HOS-"

"OMG!" the person screamed, running away.

"MELLO!" Tori scolded.

He stared at the fleeing figure blankly. "…What did I do?"

"YOU HAVE A BLOODY GIRL IN YOUR HANDS, AND YOU YELLED AT HIM!"

"…It was an emergency."

"You didn't have to shout."

"Hmm, what should I eat for lunch?" another stranger said to himself. "HMMM!"

"…BYPASSER!" the blond head yelled, once again.

"Huh?" the bewildered man spun around, seeing Tori with a bleeding leg. "Wh-what?"

"WHERE'S THE H-"

He ran away screaming, just like the previous person they asked.

"MELLO!" The girl face-palmed.

"…I can't help it."

"LALALAZ! YEY FOR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!" a woman singsonged retardedly.

Tori decided to have a try instead. "Miss!"

"Huh?"

"My leg is-"

"AHHh!21!QzsADG87qey387!11!" the woman shrieked, fainting. "BL000DDZZ!"

"…I didn't do anything…" Tori stared at the limp body in disbelief.

Two Mello fangirls wandered past a pair. "Lolz so ya, i gotz a mello plushie and fuckd et last night!"

"OMGZZZ! CAN I USE ET AFTER?"

"SURE, GURLFRAN!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Mello blurted out with a disgusted expression on his face.

The girls glanced at him. " MELLOOO!11!QA!ZSGAWD87GE8R289FWHYEF9AS9DJ!"

The male backed away, still holding Tori.

"OMGZ ITZ DAT GIRL M3LL0 IZ DATING!" The rabid fangirls pulled out their purses and proceeded to whacking Tori.

"OUCH! DAMN!" the victim yelled, trying to defend herself with her arms.

Mello pulled out his gun somehow, aiming at the girls. "Get lost."

"OMG YEYS I GET TO DIE IN MELLO'S ARMS!" they squealed unexpectedly.

"…You're insane." He turned and fled in the opposite direction.

Tori took out her mobile phone and dialled Matt's number.

"Yeaaaahh?" the gamer said through the phone, with mild explosion noises coming from his DS.

"Help."

"With what? …Shit, red shell!"

"Someone shot me in the leg," she reported. "And some fangirls fucked a Mello plushie."

"…The latter was disturbing. So are you at the hospital?"

"We don't know where it is…"

Matt let out a snort of laughter. "Epic fail."

"...Screw you." Tori hung up.

"What now?" Mello asked, awesomely guessing accurately that Matt wasn't helping.

"I don't now…" she sighed, then added more optimistically. "We could talk."

"But your leg is bleeding."

"…Keep walking, then. So why did you let me live with you?"

"Because I wanted the chocolate," he stated bluntly.

"...Just for a chocolate bar?"

"Yeah."

"If you knew me like you do now, would you do it without the chocolate bar as a bribe?" Tori continued curiously.

He paused for few seconds. "…Maybe?"

"…Maybe?" she repeated. "Okay then. Question me, Mello!"

"…What do you think of Near?"

"He's such an ass. I don't see why everyone likes him."

"Don't ask me."

"Sure, he's better than you in some things but…" she wavered slightly. "COME ON, HE'S A FUCKING CREEPER!"

"Want to know what Tori's thinking?" the anonymous voice butted in nosily to Mello.

"…Sure?" he replied telepathetically.

"She thinks you're way better than Near!"

But Mello was dubious. "How would you know anyway?"

"I can read _your_ mind too."

"We there yet? See anything?" Tori questioned.

"Nope," he responded out loud.

"I boreddddd," another male stranger said with bad grammar. "I so boreddd!"

"HEY YOU!" Mello yelled rudely.

"Shit, no-" the girl started.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" the man snapped.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE HOSPITAL?"

"IT'S FUCKING OVER THERE!" The stranger pointed towards a corner. "TAKE A FUCKING RIGHT, THEN KEEP GOING FUCKING STRAIGHT!"

"THANKS A FUCKING LOT!"

"NO FUCKING PROBLEM!"

And so the stranger went on with his daily routine as if nothing happened.

"Mello, I don't like it when you swear," Tori glared at him accusingly.

He shrugged. "It emphasizes rage."

"You're angry…?"

"It was more like urgency, I guess."

"JUST GO!"

"Okay, okay!"

"What seems to be the problem?" the nurse asked, holding a clipboard and a pen.

"My friend was shot by a gang…?" Mello answered uncertainly. He forgot to make up a story beforehand. Tori had passed out before they reached the hospital.

"Your friend? What's her name?"

"Victoria." He forgot to make up a fake name too.

"Last name?"

Mello stayed silent. He had no idea.

"Last… name…?"

"…Campbell."

"And your name, sir?"

Blank.

"Sir…" the nurse pressed on. "We need a name."

"…Samuel Moore."

The woman wrote down the names on her clipboard, before motioning to leave. "Alright, would you like to watch your friend while you wait for the important person?"

"Okay...?"

"WHERE THE FUCK AM I?" Tori suddenly woke up, pulling out her gun and aiming at Mello.

He simply stared.

"…Oh, we're here." She lowered her gun.

"Okay, do-" The nurse entered the room again, her eyes widening when she saw the gun. "A GUN! GTFO GTFO GTFO! BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!"

"But my leg-"

"GTFO!" the nurse continued shouting, pointing at them.

Mello groaned. Stupid over-reactive people. He exited the room, only to be met by a crowd drawn in by the nurse's shrieking.

"OMGZ WHUT WAS DAT! IS DAT A GUN?"

He quickly escaped like a ninja while carrying Tori.

"Hey, didn't they ask for a first and last name?" she asked "...Do you know my last name?"

"...No." Then Mello tried to defend himself. "It's a good thing I didn't. I said your first name without thinking."

"Does Matt know your real name?"

"Nope."

"...Do you know it?"

He gave the girl an incredulous stare. "Of course I do."

"Erm, why can't we use my real name?"

A large television built into one side of a building began broadcasting the latest news. "The same couple who have been known to cause an uproar at the restaurant decided to terrorize hospitals with guns! The police have confirmed that they have committed the crime of public disturbance and the possession of illegal weapons! It appears that their names are Victoria Campbell and Samuel Moore, according to a nurse."

Mello pointed at the screen. "Because of that?"

"…Oh." Tori glanced at the television. "Samuel? Really? That's an old man name…"

"It's the first name that came into my mind."

"You were thinking about Samuel?"

"…Why are you making me sound gay?"

"You said it yourself…" She nudged the blonde. "So do you want to know my last name?"

"Sure?"

"Courtland!"

"Okay?"

"…Sheesh."

Mello's cell phone began ringing. Unknown caller. He picked it up anyway. "Who the hell are you?"

"I NO UR GURLFRAN'S FULL NAME NOW! MWAHAHA!" a woman on the other end said. She was too stupid and forgot to use a distorted voice. "PS, I'M NOT KIRA!"

"…What do you want?"

"JK, I AM KIRA! MWUAHAHA. PS, I SUPPORT TOMELLO!"

"Then why would you kill her?" Mello took out a transmitter-like device, and began pressing some buttons. "She's not a criminal."

"Ya she is! She killd pplz b4!"

"So have I," he retorted.

"SO U WANT TO DIE WIF HER? OOOOH!"

Mello didn't say anything, but twitched in annoyance.

"I'M GONNA KILL HER! HURRHURR!"

"And I'm going to find you before you do."

"AWWW MELLU LAHVS TORI!" Beep. Disconnected.

"Who was that?" Tori asked.

The chocoholic began dialling another number on the phone. "Kira."

"What did Kira want?"

"You to die."

"WHAT THE F- WHY?"

He pressed the green call button and held it up to his ear calmly.

"Yeeaaah?" Matt's voice sounded.

"You've got the fake Kira's location, right?"

"Yep. On my way."

Mello smirked, pressing the disconnect button.

Then a random magical fairy appeared out of nowhere, waving her wand. "I'm going to heal Tori! Ta da!"

"…What the fuck?" Tori muttered, moving her no-longer-injured leg. "Alright… Why does Kira want to kill me?"

The blonde glanced around as if he was looking for something. "She says you're a criminal."

"AM NOT!"

"Well, you did kill some people."

"…S-so?"

"…So that makes you a killer."

Tori never thought of it that way. "…Don't call me that!"

He shrugged indifferently. "Everyone's a killer."

"…At least I'm a pretty killer!"

Mello chuckled lightly at her reply. "That's vain."

"Like _you_ aren't."

He raised an eyebrow, turning slightly towards the girl. "How so? I never said I was attractive or whatever."

"Do you think you are?"

"Hell yes." No hesitation.

"…Okay," she responded rather awkwardly. "So where are we going again?"

"Kira's location. Matt sent it to me using a GP-" Mello stopped abruptly when he realized something. "…Shit, we have no transport."

Then Tori's cell phone began ringing. She pressed a button. "Hello?"

"HURHURHUR. HELLO, VICTORIA COURTLAND!" a female voice greeted pedophilically.

"How the fuck did you know my name?"

"I JUST DO! U IS GONNA DIE BY MIDNIGHT! HURHURHUR. I BET MELLO DIDN'T TELL YOU."

"He told me I was going to die, bu-"

"BTW, I'M KIRA!" the voice interrupted stupidly. "IM KILLING U CUZ U IZ A CRIMINAL!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"HURHUR, LOL!" Then Kira hung up.

Just then, a super awesome-ass red car stopped in front of the couple. Matt leaned out of the window, pulling up his goggles to rest on his head while grinning. "Check out my new car!"

"Tori, get in. We have Kira's ass to hunt down," Mello ordered, gesturing towards the car.

"But you're still holding me…?" She gave him a weird look.

"…Oh." He dropped her carefully and they both entered the car, with Tori sitting at the back.

"So, Matt. Where did you get the car?" the chocoholic questioned.

"I found it." Which means "I stole it" in Matt-speak.

"…"

"I'm badass!" Tori commented, putting on a pair of sunglasses. "Wait… I don't look badass with a Hello Kitty T-shirt!"

Neither of the male teenagers responded.

"Mello! Do something about it!"

The blonde cast a glance over his shoulder. "What are you expecting me to do?"

"...I don't know."

* * *

"…Mells?" Tori called with a guilty look on her face.

"What?"

"Sorry I got you into this bullshit on your birthday."

Mello crammed a bar of chocolate into his mouth. "Doesn't matter. It's better than having nothing to do."

"I guess…"

"MOVE IT, TRUCK!" Matt yelled impatiently, pressing the car horn and revving the engine at a large pickup truck in the front. "Screw this…" He pressed his foot down on the pedal and swerved his way around the truck so that the car was now in the front. "Sucker."

A police car began sounding its siren and driving after the red car after seeing it drive onto the opposite lane to bypass the truck. "RED CAR IN FRONT, STOP NOW!"

Matt didn't listen while Tori flashed her middle finger at them.

"THEY'RE NOT STOPPING!" The police officers in the car were conversing with each other. Extremely loudly. "THIS IS OFFICER BRADLEY, WE NEED BACKUP! I REPEAT, WE NEED BACKUP!"

More police cars began emerging like sharks out of water. "THIS WILL BE A PIECE OF CAKE!"

"This is going to be fun…" Matt grinned, letting go of the wheels to crack his knuckles.

Mello was staring ahead of him. An old woman was halfway across the road. "Matt."

"Hm?" His hands were still together as he glanced at his best friend quizzically.

"Wheels."

"My bad." The redhead turned the wheel sharply to one side with one hand, just narrowly missing the senior citizen, who probably still died from a heart attack.

"FUCK OFF!" Tori stuck her head out of the roof window and swore at the police cars. Only to see them aiming guns at her. She quickly sat back down again. "…That wasn't fun."

Mello noticed that the police had taken out their weapons, but was still eating his chocolate calmly.

"Why does every fatass in the world like Mello? THERE'S MATT TOO!" Tori rambled. "…Wait, I meant to think that…"

"…I'm glad they don't like me." Matt commented, pulling a face.

"SHIT! SHIIIT!" the girl swore.

Mello glanced at her oddly. "What?"

She turned bright red. "Nothing!"

"Tori, duck down!" he commanded sharply.

"Wh-"

"OPEN FIRE!" the police declared. Bullets began pelting the road tarmac uselessly. Their aim sucked, but one bullet managed to crack the back window.

Tori yelped and climbed to the front onto Mello's lap. "I'm gonna cry! I don't want to get shot again!"

"Shit, it's a new car too…" Matt scowled, tossing a smoke bomb out of the window in retaliation.

Smoke began seeping out of the steel case affectively, blocking the views of the police cars. The police crashed into a couple of large trash cans, with litter exploding and spreading everywhere.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Tori curled into a ball and covered her eyes. "HOLY SHIT!"

"Eh, this happens all the time," Mello stated coolly, throwing a smoke grenade out of the window as a new set of police cars entered the scene.

"HAHA, WE'RE PRO!" some weird police officer yelled as the cars dodged out of the grenade's way.

"MELLO, HELP ME!" the teenage girl cried. "I'M GONNA DIE! I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME!"

"…It's not a game?" the chocoholic answered casually.

The police cars began speeding up close to the car. "STOP NOW!"

Matt simply drove onto the wrong lane. The police stupidly followed, crashing into other innocent cars and blowing up.

Tori poked her head out of the window. "Oh, shit…"

"Oh yeah, we lost them!" the gamer announced triumphantly, making a victory sign. More cars were charging straight towards the red car, swerving out of the way and crashing. "WHO'S THE BOSS?"

"GO BACK TO THE RIGHT SIDE!" Mello roared.

"WHAT?" Tori protested. "WHAT DID I DO?"

"I meant Matt."

"…Oh."

The redhead obeyed Mello's command and turned sharply onto the right lane, causing Tori to slam into the side of the car.

"OW!" she yelped in pain, rubbing her head.

"…Pfft." Mello tried to hold in a laugh.

"SHUT UP, MELLO!" Tori covered his mouth with her hand. He just smirked in response.

She removed her hand. "…You need to take a nap, Mells."

"Why?"

"Just take a nap..."

"I don't want to."

The girl covered his mouth again. "Shhh…"

Mello licked her hand and snickered.

"EWW!" Tori yelled, withdrawing her hand immediately.

Matt turned fully to face the couple. "Ew? What the hell, Mello?"

"EYES ON THE ROAD!" the chocoholic yelled, pointing ahead. Another car full of innocent people screeched off the road and crashed.

"…Oops."

Tori wiped the hand that had been licked on Matt's sleeve.

"That's disgusting!" Matt made a face, twitching with distaste. He reached up his hand and wiped the sleeve on Mello's face.

"What the f- My saliva's not disgusting!" the blonde snorted, moving away the best he can.

"Yes it is!" He shuddered involuntarily. "Ew…"

"_MELLO LIKES TORI_!" The voice was back. Again. "_THAT'S WHY HE ISN'T PUSHING HER OFF HIS LAP!_"

"…SHUT UP!" Mello snarled to the invisible person telepathetically.

"_I'M SORRY, MELLO!_" it said.

"Yeah, you should be."

"_I MEANT TO SAY MELLO **LOVES** TORI!_"

"If I ever find out who you are, I'm going to freaking punch you in the face, and shoot-…"

The voice began speaking to Matt instead while Mello continued his threats. "_Do you think Mello loves Tori? One head shake for 'yes', two for 'no'!_"

The redhead grinned and shook his head once.

"_And do you think Tori feels the same? Take your goggles off for 'yes', keep them on for 'no'!_"

"But I want to keep my goggles on," Matt complained.

"_WELL, YOU CAN PUT THEM BACK ON RIGHT AFTER!_"

"Can't be bothered."

A transparent hand pushed his goggles off anyways. Tori glanced at him. "Matt! You have pretty eyes!"

"…Thank you?"

"How ab-" Mello quickly stopped himself. "…Nothing."

The girl pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Yours are cool." Then she brushed it back onto his face. "There you go!"

He inwardly smirked triumphantly, thinking to himself. _'Cool' is better than a sissy 'pretty'. In your fa-_

"_Heard that, Mells,_" the voice interrupted.

"…Eh?"


	14. Bodyguard

**A/N:** Chapter 14 is finally out after much delay! This chapter is special; it's in Matt's perspective! 8D I hope I've captured his personality well. Please review and tell me what you think. :D

Oh and anything that's written in brackets () are also the stuff Matt's saying/thinking. They aren't author's notes.

* * *

Mello and Tori fell asleep. They're leaning against each other like a couple from some love movie, and Tori's even hugging his arm. I took a couple of snapshots. …What? It's for blackmail!

Okay, I think this is the place where that person who claimed to be Kira lives. I stopped the car.

"Dude." Poke poke poke. "However much you're enjoying yourselves, we've got a Kira to catch."

Damn, they're not waking up. Maybe I should try s-

Mello suddenly jumped up and hit his head on the window, yelling some random gibberish. It sounded something like "WOEIRNQPWO". I'm not sure how to pronounce that.

Since Tori was on his lap, she also hit the window. "OW, WHAT THE F-"

"…LOLOLOLOL." Okay, so I laugh using an Internet acronym; nothing wrong with that. Stop staring!

"IT'S NOT FUNNY, MATT!" Mello snarled.

Tori rubbed her sore head. "Why am I still on Mello's lap?"

"Because you like it there." Ha, good one, me! I have an epic sense of humour.

"Uh… no…" she answered hesitantly, unsure how to respond.

Score! One nil. "Yeah, so anyway, we're here already."

"What do we do?"

Mello and I always use the same basic plan when we go on missions. Actually, it depends on our opponents' level of intelligence, and this fake Kira is apparently very dim-witted. I'll leave Mello to explain that to Tori.

I took out my uber-cool heat-sensitive camera and scanned the hou- I mean, crappy shack.

"There's only one person in there," I reported.

As we got out of the car, some weird woman came running out of the shack. "OMGZ! WELCOMEZZZ, VICTORIA COURTLAND!"

"Hand over the Death Note!" I demanded coolly, flicking my hair out of my goggles. Harhar.

"LOLZZ, NO." The person opened a black notebook and began writing a name - most likely Tori's. If she dies, Mello would shoot me ten times. I pulled out my gun and shot the fake Kira's hand.

"I HAZ ANOTHER HAND!" She began writing again with her left hand.

Damn it, why must she be ambidextrous? I shot the other hand.

"I HAZ FEETZ!"

What the fuck? F-Kira (new codename for this Kira) is writing with her _foot_. Oh. And it seems that she's done with writing Tori's first name.

"…It was good while it lasted, guys," Tori began sadly. "I wonder if dying hurts."

But it's not over yet! I shot a smoke grenade in F-Kira's face. Mello used her temporary blindness to snatch the Death Note. He memorized the woman's exact location, so he knew where she is despite the smoke clouding his sight as well. Go, Mells!

So yeah, that was our mastermind plan. Note the sarcasm. But hey, it still worked, right?

"MWAHAHA, I ALREADY WROTE HER NAME DOWN!" F-Kira cackled like a witch. Oops.

"Shit!" Mello swore.

Hold on a second! Isn't F-Kira extremely stupid? She could have hidden the fact that she could write with both hands, and secretly write Tori's name while I wasn't looking. So that means… I'm not sure what that means.

I tackle-hugged Tori anyway while sobbing dramatically, but with no actual tears. That's just embarrassing. "TORI! NOOO!"

"Wha- Matt!" Why does she sound so surprised? Do I really seem like an anti-hugger?

"ACTUALLY, I PUT FIVE MINUTES!" F-Kira declared, still laughing evilly.

"Um… Bye Matt, bye Mells…" Tori said rather awkwardly. "…Why are you so upset?"

I'm setting up the mood, damn it!

"Mello, this isn't a time for your jealousy!" I yelled at Mello. Hint hint.

He just raised an eyebrow, looking at me as if I was a lunatic. "...What?"

"Tori's dying!"

"I know."

Is it just me or did he sound as if he was in pain when he said that?

"MATT, STOP BEING SAD!" Tori scolded.

I stopped glomping her, but still crying histrionically. "Go Mello, go! Say your last words!"

"How come I get the feeling you're enjoying this?" He glared at me accusingly.

What? I am definitely not enjoying this! What kind of a person does he think I am? I most certainly do not rejoice at the death of my friends. Also, I'm glad I charged my camcorder yesterday so now I can film everything that happens. It would be fun to watch sometime in the future. This is called being prepared! Oh yeah, I'm awesome.

**Clock: Two more minutes.**

"Go now, Mello! There's no time for that shit!" I cried.

"Oh, wait." Mello took out his gun and shot Kira in the head. Ouch.

"THAT WON'T DO ANY GOOD!" Tori yelled. "KIRA ALREADY WROTE MY NAME DOWN!"

He put his weapon back in his pants. "At least you know you're avenged?"

"But I'm dying…"

"Say your goodbyes to Tori!" I advised, flailing around. Sweet, I didn't leave my camcorder in the car. "Before it's too late!"

But he had no idea what to say.

**Clock: One more minute.**

Tori glanced at the clock. "…Alright then… Bye?"

"This is really awkward," I commented. I'm not going to start recording just yet; nothing much is happening. Wouldn't want to waste battery.

"…Yeah."

Mello was completely silent.

"Mells?" Tori called.

"…What?"

"Are you okay?"

"…Yeah, why?"

"Nothing…"

Psh, he's clearly not okay. I think he needs some help. I was in the most convenient position, standing slightly behind Tori and facing Mello. Now, eye contact! Perfect.

I used one hand to represent Mello, and another to represent Tori. Then I pressed the two hands together as if they were kissing. That's what you gotta do, Mells.

He just stared. Did he understand my gesture?

**Clock: Ten more seconds.**

"Matt, this is serious." Mello narrowed his eyes dangerously. Ha, I knew he understood! But I wasn't trying to be funny.

"I know it is! Besides, you aren't taking it seriously either." Awesome comeback. I deserve a mental pat on the back.

Tori didn't see my hand gestures. "…Bye. I'll miss you guys."

**Clock: Time of death.**

Tori was still standing, twitching slightly. "Am I dead…? …I'M A GHOST!" Then she began running around the area.

"GO THROUGH ME!" I exclaimed excitedly. Holy shit! This is _epic_! ...Unless she's actually a zombie. Please don't eat my brains. She ran towards me, only to crash and cause the both of us to fall backwards. Ow!

Tori rubbed her head from the impact. "What the…"

"You're one powerful ghost," I muttered, readjusting my goggles.

"Tori, you're not dead!" Mello butted in, his eyes widening.

"...Yes, I am! Kira killed me!" She pointed to the Death Note that he was still holding.

"Maybe she wrote 'becomes a ghost'?" I suggested, shrugging.

"But I just ran into you."

"It's all about the strength of a ghost's spirituality!" That makes perfect sense.

Mello ignored my statement and pinched Tori's arm.

"Ouch, damn it!" she yelped, pulling away. "What was that for?"

"See? You can feel."

"I'm dead though!" She grabbed the Death Note from Mello's hands and checked it. "Kira wrote fifty minutes, not five minutes! It says here: Victoria Courtland - dies in fifty minutes from a heart attack."

"There must be some way to undo this…?" he pondered uncertainly.

"I don't think so, Mells…"

"There _must_ be a way."

"WHY DO YOU CARE, MELLS?"

"…THEN I CAN BEAT NEAR!"

That was such a lie. _Anyone_ can tell why he's making such a huge fuss over it.

"…Alrighty then, go find a way and not care that I'm dying," Tori snapped.

"I _am_ caring!" Mello sat down on a random concrete block, his hand in his hair. "That's why I want to find a way to reverse it!"

"And why do you care that Tori's dying?" I piped up.

"Because I-" He suddenly paused mid-sentence as he turned to glance at me, then he looked away as if nothing happened.

"Go on," I urged, turning on my camcorder.

Damn. He's not responding.

I took the Death Note and began examining it carefully. There's really nothing about reversing a d- Wait! I gasped audibly and pointed at the notebook. "Holy shit! Mello, there's a way to undo deaths!"

"…What?" Mello stood up slowly, his eyes lighting up.

"THE DEATH NOTE ERASER!"

"WHERE?" He immediately rushed over to snatch the book out my hands, looking through it furiously.

"Just kidding, I was trying to make you feel better." I'm such a good friend.

Mello froze as soon as I had said that, turning to look at me slowly and shooting death beams with his eyes. I backed away rapidly so that I would be outside of his killing range. Surprisingly, he didn't shoot my brains out and simply sat down again, his face in his hands.

"Why must I have to die on Mello's birthday?" Tori sighed, not reacting to my small façade. That made him even more depressed. "…Mells?"

"What…?" His voice was lifeless.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"…Yeah."

"…No, you aren't. Look me in the eye and tell me."

Mello lifted his head to look at Tori, only to divert his gaze again.

"What the fuck did I do now?"

"Nothing…?"

"Why won't you tell me then?"

He didn't respond. You'd think Mello would be more emotional, right?

"…Mells." Tori was getting impatient. "Out of all times, you don't talk to me _now_?"

"I… I don't know what to say…?"

"Psst, Mello!" I started making hand gestures again. Once he looked in my direction, I formed a heart using his hand. He didn't react at all. Did he see me? "PSST! PSSSS-"

"Matt, shut it…"

"PSSSSSSST!"

"Why won't you look at me?" Fortunately, Tori hadn't heard my 'psst'ing. "Mello!"

He just blinked Near-ishly. I mouthed to him: "Dude, you're killing the moment." Even if that wouldn't improve the situation.

**Clock: Twenty-five minutes left.**

I gave a long sigh and turned the camcorder away from the extremely boring scene to face me. "You know, Mello can be such a sissy." Yeah, I'm talking to a cam. "I know I'm not supposed to say stuff like that, but seriously."

"Matt, shut up. I can hear you, you know."

Dude, this is _my_ cam. I changed my voice to whisper mode. "I think Mello's on his period!"

Tori came up from behind me and slapped me in the face. Somehow. "HE IS NOT!"

"OW!" I rubbed my sore cheek and scowled at her before turning back to the camcorder. "What the hell! Did you see that? Tori just slapped me!"

"Why are you even recording my death?"

"One sec." I turned away from the cam to look up at her. "It was supposed to be epic or something!"

"DYING ISN'T EPIC!"

"But it's supposed to twist people's heartstrings!" I whined.

"LAST WORDS BEFORE I KILL YOU?"

"…Have mercy?" I faced the cam again and reverted to whispering. "I think Tori's on her period too!"

"MATT!"

Oops. "…Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Phew. No lives lost. I began hinting at Mello again. "Psst… PSST!"

He was silent. I think he went deaf.

"PSST, MELLO! PSSSST! CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

"I'M TRYING TO IGNORE YOU!" he snapped.

"You can't do that."

"Um, guys...?" Tori cleared her throat. "I'm going to die and you have nothing to say to me. That's really screwed up…"

Mello still didn't say a word.

"I'm gonna take a nap, and might die during it. So if you have any "byes", right now would be a cool time to say it?"

"Bye," I said. She face-palmed. Did I do something wrong?

"Tori…" Mello mumbled unexpectedly. This was what I was waiting for. I repositioned my camcorder for the best view. Insert Titanic theme song here.

Tori glanced at him in surprise. "Yeah?"

He walked over to her and pulled her into a firm hug, his hair covering his face. Go, Mello! I knew you weren't a sissy! Well, you still kind of are, but that's better! I think I'll edit this part into slow motion.

"…Mello?" Tori uttered softly, hugging back.

As if Mello suddenly realized what he was doing, he pulled back and began to walk away, flustered.

"Wait… Mells?" She took a couple of steps towards him.

He was looking in another direction. "Yeah…?"

Tori reached up and kissed him on the cheek. HOLY SH- Crap! I dropped my cam!

**Clock: Time of death.**

Tori's legs suddenly gave way and her whole body went limp. Mello quickly reached out to catch her before she crashed to the ground, and laid her down gently. I wonder if there is going to be an elaborate funeral. That would be pretty cool.

Mello muttered a swear word, hitting the ground.

"Hey, Mello…" a creepy-ass voice said. Yeah, it's that invisible anonymous thing.

"What do you want?" he mumbled in a subdued voice, his face in his hands.

"She's dead…"

He suddenly looked up (at no one), his eyes instantly burning with rage. "I KNOW, DAMN IT!"

"How do you feel?"

"ANGRY."

"Why?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Mello continued punching the ground, spitting out curses.

"Why are you punching the ground?" the voice went on. Exactly! The ground didn't do shit! He should be punching the Death Note, or F-Kira's dead body.

"SHUT UP! BECAUSE I'M PISSED OFF!"

Normally when Mello explodes like this, I'd stay the hell back.

"She kissed you on the cheek!" it said, against my mental advice. "Do you miss her?"

He stopped hitting the innocent ground and just held a fistful of his hair. I crawled over to Tori's dead body and poked her. …Why is she warm?

"Dude, she's still warm."

Ignored. Thanks a lot, Mells.

"I knew you really liked her!" the voice taunted nosily. "So I'm sorry and stuff!"

"Shut the hell up…" Mello pulled at his hair.

"You didn't punch her in the face when she kissed you either."

"Why would I?" he hissed bitterly.

"You usually would, but not with her… You _love_ her. Am I right?"

A short pause. Then Mello muttered, "Think what you want."

"YOU LOVE TORI?"

"SHUT UP!"

"DO YOU? SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU NOW, SO IT DOESN'T MATTER!"

"I DON'T CARE."

"WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID TO ADMIT IT?"

"I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING!"

All this shouting is hurting my ears. I picked up a stick and poked Tori's dead body out of boredom. She twitched.

Wait, what? She _twitched_? That means…

"ZOMBIE!" I yelled, jumping back and falling onto the ground. I crawled backwards while pointing at the still-motionless figure, just in case it sudden jumps up and bites me. "Holy shit, Tori's a zombie!"

Mello's eyes widened before giving me an exasperated look. Then he crawled over to Tori. He's going to get converted into one of them if he's not careful.

"ONLY THE KISS OF HER TRUE LOVE CAN AWAKEN HER!" the voice called, also ignoring me.

"That's just-…" Mello scowled incredulously, not finishing his sentence.

"Tori is a princess, so kiss her! You're her prince!"

"…It doesn't have to be on the lips, right?"

"Not unless you want to."

Mello lifted Tori's hand and just have a quick peck. I've still got everything on cam. I wonder how Tori would react once she sees this. Hmm.

"Aww!" the anonymous thing cooed. "But I was kidding."

Tori suddenly rolled over, mumbling. "Ngghnn… Am I in hell…?"

I crawled back over to the both of them. "Nope. Welcome to heaven."

"Tori!" Mello grabbed her shoulders, shaking her.

"Where's… my prince?" Her eyes were still closed. "I just heard him!"

I shoved him in her face. "Here!"

"Matt, stop it," he hissed.

"Where's... Mello... and Matt?" Tori murmured. "Where's… my Mells…?"

"_Your_ Mells?" I grinned. Hear that, Mello? "He's right here."

"...Hi Mells..." She seems half-asleep.

"...Hey," Mello replied boringly.

"...Why didn't I die?"

"I'm not sure."

Tori sat up, her face red for some reason. "Hey guys… Thanks for not leaving me here."

"You should've seen Mello's reaction," I told her.

"...What did he do? What happened?"

"Mello was practically l-"

"Matt!" Mello snarled threateningly. Damn.

"…We should have a party!" I changed the topic otherwise I might die. "We need to celebrate your resurrection!"

"But I was never dead…"

"We should have a party anyway." Free food!

Tori turned to Mello. "It's still your birthday, Mells, what do you want to do?"

"…Eat?"

"Then let's go!"

* * *

The three of us took a seat in a nearby restaurant. The lights were slightly dim and it was kind of noisy, but that won't stop me from concentrating on my DS.

"Hey, cutie!" someone said.

Take that, Koopa Troopa! Did you see that? I just crashed against that player and knocked them down the cliff. Sucker. Check this out, I'm in first place! Oh yeah.

"HMPH!" the person scoffed, followed by rabid footsteps.

"Pfft."

I looked up from my game. "Huh? What happened?"

Then some random eighteen-year-old dude sat down next to Tori. "Anything good here, besides you?"

"…Uh." She stared at him. "Is this some sort of hook-up restaurant?"

"It is now!" He winked lamely, inching closer.

"YES. FIRST PLACE!" Epic! New racetracks unlocked! Then I saw movement under the table. I think Mello kicked the dude or something.

Tori flinched. "Matt! Don't do that!"

Huh? What did I do?

"Tryin' to play hard to get?" the weirdo went on. He yawned, stretching his arms, before lowering it around Tori's shoulders.

"Fuck off!" Mello growled, smacking his arm away.

The guy just shrugged. "Come on, Brit."

"My name isn't Brit!" Tori retorted.

"You're a Brit, so your name is Brit."

"…I don't like that name."

"Too bad. So, what _is_ your name, Brit?"

What the hell? No one hits on girls like that. Fail. He edged even closer to Tori, whispering something. I glanced at Mello, who was glaring fiercely at the guy. His hand was gripping his gun too. I gave him a look that said '_we don't need any more attention from the public by killing someone even if he's hitting Tori, so calm down and just ignore him, otherwise the second Kira would label you as a criminal and find out your real name, then you'll die from a heart attack without accomplishing anything'_. Kind of complicated, but he'll understand. Hopefully.

Instead of killing the guy, Mello listened to my eyes (what the-?) and relaxed. Phew.

"C'mon Britty, let's get outta here." The dude grabbed Tori's arm and pulled her up.

"Dude, go away…"

"FUCK OFF!" Mello snapped, slamming his hand down on the table. Shit.

"Who do you think you are?" He snorted rudely before turning back to Tori. "Shut up. You're a stupid girl. You don't know a good one when you see it, now c'mon."

Tori's eyes widened. "…S-stupid?"

Mello shoved him. "I said _fuck off_!"

"Mello, no… Calm down…" She tried to stop the potential fight. "Let's just… ignore him."

The dude just gave Mello a laid-back stare and dragged Tori away. To the bathroom. Is he going to…?

"Wha- THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!" she yelled, trying to pull away.

Mello spat out a swear word, rushing over and shoving the people in his way. I followed after saving my game. Can't let all that hardwork go down the drain.

By the time I arrived at the scene, the to-be rapist had pushed Tori into a stall and punched Mello out when he tried to pull him out.

"HELP!" Tori screamed from the stall. "HOLY FUCK, DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Muttering more swear words, Mello pressed himself against the wall opposite the stall in preparation for a run-up.

"Action!" Just when he kicked the door down, I turned on my camcorder once again. …It's for evidence! Yeah, evidence.

Mello grabbed the rapist by the shirt and punched him in the face. His punches hurt like hell, I can tell you that. But then the guy kicked him in the- …You know where. Mello made a weird noise while falling onto the floor. That must've hurt. A lot.

"THAT WAS A GAY-ASS MOVE! DON'T KICK HIM THERE!" Tori pushed the rapist and ran over to him. "MELLO?"

Without a warning, Mello swept his leg across the floor, tripping the pedo over. He smirked, "Just kidding. I had my gun there."

The rapist groaned from the impact with the floor, then stood up and began dragging Tori outside. I followed, still filming.

"MATT! DO SOMETHING!" Tori yelled, struggling.

"But Mello's supposed to be the hero." I frowned disapprovingly. Can't mess with these damsel-in-distress situations.

"AT LEAST GIVE ME YOUR GUN?"

That sounds more reasonable. I tossed my gun to Tori.

"Guns?" the dude scoffed. "Girls as weak as you shouldn't use g- OW, THE FUCK?"

Mello shot him in the leg. The rapist tried to limp away, only to receive another bullet in his other leg from Tori. He began sobbing like a loser. I pointed and laughed at him. …I can't help it, it looks too funny.

Then the guy took out something from his pocket, and threw it at Tori.

"What was that?" I turned the cam to film her.

"A knife?" She pointed to a cut on her leg. Uh oh. Mello's going to b-

"OINPFOIEANROIJA!" he roared incomprehensibly, shooting the rapist again before going over to him and punching him in the face.

"Mello, come on!" Tori protested, trying to pull Mello away from the almost-dead man.

"He's _really_ pissed…" I commented, still filming.

"What for?"

"Because that guy hurt you."

She sighed. "MELLO, I'M BEING RAPED. SAVE ME OVER HERE!"

Mello immediately turned around, rage burning in his eyes. "WHERE?"

"…Let's go. And Mells, you have blood all over you."

"Shit," he swore, looking at his hands. He turned to go back to the restaurant to wash the blood off while Tori and I waited outside.

Back to my DS! Which racetrack should I choose? Hmm… Rainbow Road! Most people suck at this one. I can hack the system to choose the racetrack I selected. To all of my opponents: you're going _down_!

I heard some girly giggling coming from inside the restaurant. When I glanced up, Tori had a pissed-off expression on her face. She practically ripped off the restaurant door as she entered. I tagged along. I guess this race will have to wait.

"Hey!" I heard a group of girls say to Mello. "What's your name?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

One of the girls winked. "A date with you!"

"…" Mello didn't say anything, and simply walked away. But the girls were persistent.

"Hard to get, sexy?" they went on. "So, what's your name?"

By this time, Tori had shoved the everyone in her way onto the ground, stomping over to the group.

"So are you single?" a girl was asking.

Tori glared at the girls. "NO. PISS OFF!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever! I was talking to the sexy one!"

"…Let's get out of here," Mello said to Tori, twitching.

"OKAY!" some other random girl said.

"HE WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, DUMBASS!" Tori growled. "COME ON, MELLS!"

The group encircled the pair. "That's your name? Mells?"

Tori turned around, with an epic punch in a girl's face. Whoa, bitch fight.

"Who's your friend with the goggles?" a blond girl asked, winking at me. I think I'll just back away. Not that I'm gay or anything; I just don't go for whores.

"SERIOUSLY, FUCK OFF!" Tori was yelling.

"You're violent!" the girls giggled like lunatics. "So yeah, who's Goggles?"

"I'm not Goggles," I said. That's such a weird nickname. Makes me sound like a frog or something.

Oops. Now the girls are swarming around me. "What's your name then, cutie?"

…That's it. This is too creepy. I'm getting out of here.

* * *

"I'm going to wash off the rest of the blood," Mello announced once the three of us arrived back at the apartment.

"What about me?" Tori whined.

"Stay here?"

"But I'll get bored…"

He just shrugged and left. Tori made sure that he was gone before turning to face me. "HEY MATT!"

"Yeah?"

"So how did Mello react to my death?"

Oh yeah. I forgot about that. "He lost it and started punching the ground. And he kissed your hand."

"…Why?"

"Someone told him it would revive you."

"…Okay then. I honestly cannot remember anything that happened _right_ before I passed out."

"Don't worry, I've got everything on my cam." I grinned and took out the camcorder, and showed Tori the scene where she kissed Mello on the cheek.

"...Fuck you."

"What?" Did I do something?

"FUCK YOU."

"What did I do?" I don't get it.

"I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE!"

"...Which makes it more exciting and dramatic?" I said uncertainly, fidgeting.

"FOR WHAT?"

…I think I'll just go and sit in the corner.

* * *

**A/N:** Just a note to explain a couple of things. Tori didn't die because F-Kira is an idiot and forgot to picture her face when she wrote down her name. Also, right at the beginning of the restaurant scene, the person who said "Hey, cutie!" was talking to Matt, who was apparently too occupied with his game. He's playing Mario Kart, by the way.


	15. A Spirited Christmas

**A/N: Holy crap! This chapter is _so _late. It's supposed to be published on_ Christmas_, even though it's not a huge theme here. I have recently came back from a hiatus. I hope my untalented writing skills haven't worsened. OTL Also, the real life Tori is now going to write some of the chapters to speed up the releases! :D**

* * *

"Snow's pretty, up until the cars go by and turn it into disgusting, black, slushy shit," Tori commented idly, gazing out of the window, while Mello sat somewhere nearby and Matt played on his DS as usual.

"I guess," the chocoholic replied un-conversationally, completely bored.

"It's fucking cold…" she shivered.

"Then wear a jacket?"

Her teeth began chattering. "…I don't want to get up."

"Sucks, then."

"_Hug her, I dare you!_" an anonymous voice commanded Mello. "_Unless you're too much of a sissy girly girl to do it!_"

Despite the insult, the blonde bit back a sharp retort and handed Tori the jacket he was wearing. The girl glanced at him in surprise. "Thanks, but won't you get cold?"

He shrugged indifferently. "Eh, I can endure it."

"…Whatever…"

"_HUG HER, DAMN IT! SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT YOU!_" the invisible person snapped. Mello wished he had the ability to block out the irritating voice. "_SHE'S STILL COLD!_"

"Why… is it… so cold?" Tori continued shivering. "So, um… What now? We should make Matt give us Christmas presents first!"

"Why me?" the gamer complained behind the small screen.

"Because we're bored, and I'm freezing!"

"Fine." He didn't mind in actuality, and produced two wrapped box-like shapes from behind him before tossing them to the pair, grinning. "I got the same thing for you two."

"Uh…" Tori eyed the package suspiciously. "…Mello, you open it."

Mello peeled off the shiny wrapping paper, taking out a thick and flat object with pages. "A book…?" Then he opened the 'book', skimming through the pages. "Oh. It's a photo al-" He stopped as soon as he saw one of the many pictures.

"Do you like it?" Matt snickered not-so-innocently.

"What is it?" Tori asked, closing her eyes. She didn't want to know what exactly the present was yet.

"A... photo album." Mello closed the cover, refusing to look at any more of the pictures.

"What's in it?"

"…See for yourself."

The teenage girl opened her eyes, analyzing the smooth black cover of the album, then her own still-wrapped version. "…No."

"Open it, Tori!" Matt urged.

"…No."

"Why not? It's your Christmas present!"

"You did something to it!"

He pouted at the accusation. "No, I didn't!"

"YES, YOU DID!"

"What do you even mean by that anyway?"

"…Fine." Tori sighed, giving in. Slowly, she unwrapped the gift and lifted the cover slowly… There was a close-up picture of her kissing Mello on the cheek. Right in the middle of the page. She slammed it shut immediately. "God damn…"

"Do you like it?" Matt sat on the couch in a frog-like manner, another grin pasted onto his face. "Like it? Like it?"

"…Run," she hissed. "Before I punch you in the face."

He scowled at the unfriendly response. "Even _Mello _knows how to _appreciate_."

Tori glanced at Mello's subdued expression. "Oh, really?"

"Well, he's not complaining."

She waved her hand in front of the blonde. He didn't even blink. "...You killed him."

"He's just moved by my generosity and thoughtfulness."

"Matt, you're an ass."

"You know you like the pictures."

"WHAT IS THERE TO LIKE?" Tori exploded, giving the gamer a disapproving look.

"…A collection of your memories?" Matt suggested, trying to avoid her harsh gaze.

"It's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon…"

"Still, you can look through it during your spare time?"

The girl sighed once again, relaxing. "I didn't even notice you were taking pictures…"

"I've been taking pictures _all_ the time."

"…Uh. Alrighty then."

Without a warning, the window opened by itself and snow happened to drift right into the room, invading the warmth of the apartment with an icy gust. Mello, having recovered by his temporary silence, stood up and shut the window.

Only for it to open by itself once again. "_DON'T TOUCH ME, PERV!_" it seemed to be saying.

"What the fuck?" He slammed the window shut, locking it firmly. Then the door opened, and snow began falling magically in from the roof.

"IT'S COLD!" Tori wrapped her arms around herself, shaking.

"I-IT'S THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST!" Matt yelled, pointing at nothing as a carpet of snow began forming.

"…Matt, don't be a retard. I'm fucking cold!"

"What the hell is going on?" Mello stalked over to the front door, slamming it shut. But it opened again. "How-?"

A light transparent figure formed in the middle of the living room, booming a message un-scarily. "Hey guys! I'm supposed to take you on a tour to the past and the future!"

Matt cast a triumphant look Tori. "See? I _told_ you it's the ghost of Christmas past! …And future!"

The girl turned to face the ghost. "What the f-?"

"Okay, come peoples!" the ghost instructed with bad grammar as a swirling portal materialized. The trio stared at the magical door sceptically and dubiously. It quickly lost its patience and kicked them into the door. "Oh em gee, hurry up!"

"OW, WHAT TH-"

As the portal swallowed them, they were sent falling down a long, dark tunnel with a bright light shining at the end. The light gradually became bigger and bigger as they dropped, and eventually, they landed on a pile of snow.

"What the hell?" Tori muttered, rubbing the back of her head while Matt scrambled to check if his DS was undamaged.

"Lol, you're at Tori's past in England!" the ghost's voice informed, although the figure was nowhere to be seen.

_A little girl who looked like a smaller version of Tori was holding the hand of a woman as they walked along the street. As the two went past a shop, the child pointed to the displaying window. "Mum! I want that doll!"_

_The mother glanced at the doll her daughter pointed to before smiling and guiding her towards the shop door. "Alright, alright. Let's go inside."_

"_Yay!"_

"…I don't remember that!" Tori protested. "…Tell anyone about that, and I will _shoot_ you."

"Yeah, sure," Mello smirked.

Then the portal appeared once again, sucking the three teenagers in. "Welcome to the Wammy's House!" the ghost's voice said as they landed in front of large building within its surrounding iron gates.

"Whoa, Wammy's!" Matt breathed, his eyes taking in the nostalgic house where he had spent his childhood.

"This should be interesting. Right, _Mello_?" Tori snickered.

The chocoholic gazed at her warily. "How so?"

"Let's go see what Mello did during his day!"

_A blonde boy with neat hair, wearing a black shirt and jeans, was clutching a piece of paper in his hands._ Mello winced as he remembered what the paper was.

"_Let's go play football!" a group of children yelled, laughing, while another group surrounded a white figure. "Hey, look! Near got the highest score, again!"_

The older Mello instinctively balled his hands up into fists just as the younger version did.

"Aww, Mello is getting angry!" Tori observed. "AND YOUR HAIR WAS CUT STRAIGHT ACROSS! HAHAHA!"

He simply gave her an unamused stare.

"I'll… shut up now."

"Good."

"Okay, that's it for the past!" the ghost announced. "Let's go to the future!" This time, there wasn't any falling, and the trio found themselves in a different location. "MELLO AND TORI GOT MARRIED!"

"…_WHAT_?" Mello's jaws dropped, gawking at the now-visible ghost.

"Wha-"

"Mello asked her out on her eighteenth birthday!"

"S-STOP MAKING UP SHIT!" the blonde growled, trying to ignore Matt's laughing.

"Wanna see their house?" the ghost asked.

"Okay!" Matt chirped.

"Oh and Matt's got a girlfriend too!"

The redhead's eyes widened. "Really? Who?"

"I think her name starts with a T."

"…" He was suddenly having a bad feeling about this.

"IT'S TIFFY!"

"Fuck no… NO WAY!" Matt's expression mirrored Mello's from just a few minutes ago. "Lies. LIES! I didn't do shit to deserve this!"

While he sobbed and Tori laughed in the background, the older version of the couple came into view.

"_Mello! Get the sugar!" the older Tori called, taking out a mixing bowl. As the blonde brought a small box to the woman, she gave him a look of disbelief. "Get the _sugar_. That says _salt_ on it."_

"_No, it doesn't," the older Mello retorted, still stubborn, about to read the label on the box. "It says- Oh."_

The present Mello nearly choked on nothing. "_What_? I'm not and won't be that stupid, I swear! This isn't accurate!"

"Yeah!" Matt agreed, desperate to know that his doomed fate wouldn't become reality.

"_Now get the chocolate!"_

"_Stop ordering me around." But Mello brought it anyway._

"_Now get the bowls! You said you wanted to learn how to make chocolate cake!"_

"_Fine!"_

"Ready to leavez?" the ghost questioned, floating into view. Without waiting for a reply, it immediately went on. "Okay! Let's go see what Matt is up to!"

"Oh God, no…"

They were automatically teleported to a medium-sized house.

"_M4TTZZZZZZ!" the older Tiffy wailed, fatter than ever._

_The no-longer-a-teenager was seated on a random couch, fumbling for something."What?"_

"No!" the current Matt sobbed, flailing his arms futilely as if to swipe away the two figures. "Older me, _run_! What the hell are you thinking?"

"_WHERE IZ TEH MELLLZZ? U SED DEY WUZ COMING!" The obsessive, rabid fangirl stroked her quadruple chin. "I HAV A PLAN TO KILLZ DAT TORAY!"_

"_Maybe they're having difficulties?" The older Matt shrugged before taking out a strange-looking electronic device and turned it on, appearing to be playing something similar to a DS._

"Holy crap! What's that?" The present Matt stared at the future device, then turned to shoot a glare at the ghost who was hovering behind them. "How the _hell_ did Tiffy and I end up together anyway?"

The ghost didn't answer and simply waved a transparent hand. Matt's future house dissolved away, replaced by an empty and dimly-lit conference room. A slouching figure dressed in an over-sized shirt with white untidy hair was seated in the middle of the floor, surrounded by massive structures made out of cards.

"Holy shit!" Matt poked a card tower, only for his finger to go right through it, dealing no damage. "Near made these?"

"Nothing else to do with his life?" Tori sneered, earning a snicker from Mello. "I want to go back now though."

"OKAY!" The ghost finally listening to them, and the trio found themselves back in the living room of their apartment.

"…That was… weird," the teenage girl commented, then a certain redhead caught her attention. "Matt? Why are you all down?

"The ghost was lying, right…? Right?"

"NO LIES!" the ghost replied happily, before poofing with a puff of nothingness. "KAY, BYE!"

"IT'S LATE. GO TO SLEEP, GOD DAMN!" the clock scolded.

Mello raised an eyebrow. "Why the hell are objects talking?"

Tori shrugged, not bothered. "Well, I'm going to sleep now." With that said, she skipped to her shared room. As she opened the door, her hands reach halfway up to her mouth and screamed. "HOLY SHIT!"

Tiffy was in the corner of the dark room, foaming at the mouth. "MELLZ?"

"The fuck?" Mello muttered from the living room, hearing the scream.

"OMGZ! ITZ TORI! IM GONNA KILLZZZ YOU!" the blob shrieked, attacking Tori's legs.

"Get. Out. Now." Mello spat each word with venom after suddenly appearing at the doorway, with a gun aimed at the attacker.

"MELL MELLZ!" With a flying leap, the fangirl glomped the blond teenager. "N000 M3LL M3LLZ, U SH4LL LUVSSS ME!"

Mello took a moment to decipher the rabid girl's horrible English grammar before shoving his gun in her face. "Get off!"

"ITZ N4WT LI3K UR IN LUV WIT SUM1 ELSE S0 DAT M3ANS I CN MAKE U LUV ME!"

"JUST GET OUT!"

"UR N4WT IN LUV SO U WIL LUV ME FOREVAH!"

Mello doesn't normally shoot people who aren't official criminals, but he was left with no other choice if he wants to silence this blabbering… thing. With nimble fingers, he clicked the safety hatch of the gun, and pulled the trigger. He screwed his eyes shut, cringing in advance of the mass of blood he was about to s-

"LOLOLZ, MY FATS DEFLECTED DA BULLET!" Tiffy giggled, seemingly proud of herself.

"Wh- That's impossible!" Mello blurted out, his mind racing back to his physics lessons back at Wammy's, and all the research he personally did. Surely the density couldn't have stopped the velocity of the bullet, which is approximately a-

"…I can't feel my leg!" Tori poked her leg which Tiffy had practically crushed. Sighing from the excessive amount of drama, she decided to call it a day and dragged herself onto her bed. "Good night…"

At that time, more Mello fangirls emerged out of thin air, creeping towards the said male with gleaming eyes, swiping their tongues over their showing teeth. Mello hightailed out of the apartment so fast that the author couldn't describe it properly.

"Y333Y M3LL MELLZ ISN'T IN LUV YET SO HE'S STILL SINGLE!" the fangirls shrieked, chasing the fleeing teenager. They threw heart-shaped candies and all that shit at him, but they were just wasting their money.

Little did Mello know that some of the fangirls remained in their room, stalking towards the sleeping Tori while whispering evil plans.

"Holy fuck!" the girl groaned, covering her head with a pillow in an attempt to block out the creepy whispering. "Shut up, I'm sleeping!"

"NOOOO!" the fangirls replied, stretching the vowel unnecessarily.

Letting out a frustrated noise, Tori rolled out of the bed and stood up. "WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO LOUD?" She glanced around, meeting the eyes of a mob of girls with a crazed-look on their faces. "…Mello? MELLS?"

"TORI! WE WILL KILLZZZ UUU!" the mob spoke as one, holding up their hands as if they were claws. Working together, they tied up Tori and lifted her up.

"What the f-" Tori tried to struggle. "MELLS? MATT!"

Meanwhile, during the time Tori was being kidnapped, Matt was in the opposite room, concentrating on his DS. "Yeah…?" he slurred, distracted by the flashing lights on the screen.

The fangirls began dragging Tori out of the apartment.

"WHAT THE F- HOLY FUCK. HELP ME!"

"One sec, I'm just finishing this level…" Matt licked his lips, his eyes sparkling behind the goggles.

"HOLY SHIT! MELLS! MELLO! MELLLLOOO?"

"Hold on..." He was so close. The boss of this stage only had a fifth of its original HP left. A critical hit, and a double strike! Fifty… Just a little bit more… Thirty. And heal! Fifteen HP left. One strike left. Just five… VICTORY! Matt jumped up from sitting on the floor, punching the air. "YES. LEVEL COMPLETE. OH YEAH! WHO'S AWESOME?"

Pressing a button to save his progress, Matt poked his head out of his room. "Okay, I'm done. You need something?"

But the apartment was completely silent.

"…Huh. I thought I heard Tori calling me." The redhead frowned, then shrugged. "Oh well. Back to the game!"

* * *

The fangirls dumped Tori in an abandoned house before snickering and poofing. She attempted to undo the ropes tied around her, but failed. "SOMEONE HELP ME! MELLS!"

Coincidentally, Near happened to be walking past the house for some weird reason. He paused when he heard the plead for help, and peeped through a crack in the door.

"HOLY SHIT! MELLO!" the girl continued to scream. "HELP ME, GOD DAMN!"

"I am not Mello," the albino commented, stepping into view.

"NEAR! UNTIE ME!"

He padded over to the girl, untying the ropes obediently despite his lack in physical strength, but who cares?

"Thank you!" she gasped, rubbing her sore wrists.

"TORI?" Mello randomly burst through the broken door, which sent it flying off its hinges.

"MELLS!"

"Hello, Mello." Near stared at him blankly, twirling his hair.

Mello gaped before changing his expression into a death glare. "…WHY THE FUCK IS NEAR HERE?'

"Near helped me," Tori deadpanned, gesturing towards the ropes lying on the cold floor.

The blonde's gaze darkened even more as he glared at the innocent albino, if that was even possible.

Tori glanced between the two males, before a grin formed on her face. "…Hey Mells."

"Yeah?"

"Jealous much?"

"What?"

"Jealous?"

"_No_."

"Okay… Just wondering…" Tori hummed thoughtfully.

"…What made you think so?"

"...Nothing..."

Mello was clearly not satisfied by this answer because of the sullen look on his face. Before he could open his mouth to say something smartass-ly, Tori changed the topic. "My legs are like, burning. Tiffy bit me. And um, thanks Near."

"You are welcome." Sensing that this would be a suitable time to leave, Near shuffled away.

"…Crap, he forgot to untie my legs." Tori hopped around until Mello reached down and pulled the ropes loose. "Thanks, Mells."

"Yeah, it's fine…"

* * *

**A/N: By the way, the part near the beginning where Mello suddenly went silent after receiving the present from Matt? That was because I forgot to roleplay him; I was too absorbed into Matt. LOLOL, I fail. ...Maybe I shouldn't have said that.**

**Oh and don't worry, Matt fangirls! He isn't going to end up going out with Tiffy. The ghost was pulling a prank on him. :'D**


	16. Finding Secrets

**A/N: This chapter is written by Tori! :D**

* * *

After untying the damsel in distress, Mello began to leave.

"Mells?" Tori called after him.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you going?"

"...Out." Mello stated simply after slight hesitation.

"Where to?" Tori asked, obviously curious.

"Nowhere in particular."

"Can I come?"

"No. Stay here." He said firmly.

"But...I want to come..." She whined with round eyes.

"Too bad?" the male said sympathetically leaving the room. Sucks he didn't see Tori follow him to wherever the hell he was headed to.

* * *

Apparently, Mello went to the Mafia base. While the Mafia members were discussing about blowing shit up, they didn't notice Tori stalking them in the window.

Suddenly, Mello stood up. "We have an eavesdropper." He left the room and walked outside to where Tori was stalking them from.

The Mafia members looked at each other, dumbfounded. "HUH WUUTTT?"

Tori muttered an "Uh oh" when she saw Mello exit the room. "Shit..." she swore.

The idiot Mafia members blabbed on about crap. "Blahblahblah Mello can take care of it. He's never been wrong!"

Tori continued swearing when Mello came up behind her like a ninja turtle-a sexy one- and shoved a gun in her face.

"HEY Y-" he began, then recognized the familiar face. "...TORI?"

"H-hey Mells..." she said nervously.

"...What are you doing here?"

"Can you put away your gun?" She said, remembering the other incidents in the past that involved a gun.

Mello put it away, and she sighed from relief.

"...Nothing. Just… um... hanging out?" she replied uncertainly.

"Then why here...?"

"I followed you..." she said slowly, then carried on cheerfully. "So whatcha up to?" ...Is Tori bipolar or something?

"Nothing. Go home."

"No!"

"Just go." He began walking back into the Mafia base. Tori snuck inside without Mello noticing, again.

The idiots were talking about crap that nobody actually cared about. "Mmgg lyke w-..." Then they saw Tori.

As if on command, they whipped out their guns and aimed at the poor girl that only wanted to hang out with Mello.

"WHO DA FAWK ARE YA?" they all asked, sounding like drug addicts.

"Uh..." the teenage girl wasn't sure of how to react. Mello face palmed, obviously frustrated.

"Shit!" the girl swore, not wanting to die – or almost die – again.

"I told you to go home."

"But I didn't!" Tori said with a mischievous grin.

The stupid Mafia members butted into their conversation. How rude. "OMGGGG MELLO YOU LYKE KNOW THIS GAL?" they asked as if it wasn't obvious enough for them.

"...Yes." he replied.

The retards lowered their guns. "OOPSIE DAISIES! SORRY!"

Randomly, a piece of paper landed on the table. "OPENZ ME!" it shouted silently.

A dude opened the paper "OMGG WUTS DIS?"

It's a picture of Mello and Tori kissing! How the hell did it manage to get in here without getting blown up? Oh well.

"LOL HEY DUDES LOOK AT DIS. MELLO'S GOT A GURLFRAN'!" the dude who had opened the paper exclaimed.

Mello shot the poor paper. What the hell did the paper do? Someone isn't being tree-friendly.

"THERE WUZ NO NEED FOR DAT DUUUUDE!"

Mello didn't say anything, but he was twitching.

A fat dude pointed to Tori. "OMG IZ DAT UR GURLFRAN'?" he asked. What the hell is up with this 'gurlfran'' crap? Can't they say girlfriend like a normal person?

Mello didn't say anything.

"LOL I THOUGHT YOU WAS GAY!" he said, suicidal.

"HE'S NOT FUCKING GAY!" Tori snarled at the fat dude. "SHUT THE FUCK UP FATASS!"

"I'm not fucking gay!" the lion roared.

The fat dude held his hands up as if that would stop them from beating the living shit and Big Macs out of him. "LOL I B JK NO NEED 2 BE SO SERIOUS!"

"HAHAHA!" the dude chortled.

"Tori, go home." Mello said for the millionth time.

Tori glanced out the window to see that it was raining and snowing. "I can't..."

Some person walked up to Tori. "HAY THAR GURLY!" he said, adding a pathetic wink.

"...Hi." She replied rather awkwardly.

The person put his arm around her shoulders "WANNNA HANG OUT?"

Mello stared, and Tori just gave him the weirdest look ever. "Uh..."

The dude that saw the picture whispered to the person hitting on Tori. "You might not wanna dew dat..."

The person let out a hideous hyena laugh. "OMGGG WHY NOT. MELLO IZ LYKE A GAY PIECE OF SHIZ. LOL HAHAHAHA!" He must be suicidal.

And so Mello shot him, and the person died but pathetically reported it. "NOOO! I DIED!"

Tori let out a small scream, still traumatized by the gun incident and the almost-dying incident.

"MELLS!" she cried jumping away from the corpse."DON'T DO THAT!"

"Why?"

"That scared me!"

"That's why you should've gone home."

"I don't want to!" She said with a pout.

Tori glanced around "So...What's this?" She asked.

"What's what?"

"HEY CAN MELLO'S GURLFRAN' SHOOT A GUN?" The dude asked as if Tori wasn't there. "MAYBE SHE CAN LYKE JOIN US!"

"NO." Mello inputted quickly.

"Join what?" She asked. Some evil spirit of gun belts came in and pulled Tori's gun belt off, making her gun clatter to the ground. The idiots stared at her with wide eyes. Tori stood there, unsure of what to do. "...Uh.."

She quickly retrieved her gun and the belt and put it on.

"She doesn't hav whut it takes tew be mafia," the boss commented. Luckily, Tori didn't hear him.

Mello gave him a death glare.

"Omg wut did i dew?" the Mafia boss asked, he had the IQ of a potato.

"_Idiot_!" Mello scolded.

Fat dude frowned. He almost didn't look like a crack head

"Huh...?" Tori seeing that she missed something. "What the hell are you trying to get me to join, anyway?"

"Nvm u cnt join nao," Fatass said.

"...Fuck you," Tori replied, very lady-like.

That random voice came back again, this time to bug the idiot Mafia members. "_SO, IS TORI PERFECT FOR MELLO OR WHAT?" _it asked.

The Mafia members looked around the room like the retards they are. "Huh whut?"

"_IS SHE PERFECT FOR MELLO?_" the voice repeated.

While the voice tried to get a bunch of idiots to understand it, Tori asked innocently, "Mells... Seriously, what is this?"

"Nothing. Go home." He said once more.

Some other dude who we will now call Homeslice grinned at Mello "NO, LET HER STAY! THIS MITE BE INTERESTING!"

"Mellllsss…" Tori whined once more.

Mello smacked his forehead and looked at her "What now?"

"Why are you so irritated now?" She asked with her hands on her hips. She's such a sass.

"You're not supposed to be involved."

The voice was still arguing with the retards. _"ANSWER M,E RETARDS!_"

"Idk? Idk his gurlfran' vry well." they replied to the voice. Wow, they finally learned something normal! Way to go retards!

Tori pulled out a chocolate bar "So? It's not like I'm gonna tell the world...whatever you're hiding from me," she said, chomping on it.

The voice sighed. "_SO FAR?"_

The members shrugged "Idkz, lol."

"That's not the point." Mello said. Just get to the point already! Listening to two conversations isn't as easy as sitting there looking pretty, you know!

"You don't trust me?" Tori assumed, upset.

"I'm not talking about that."

"Then what?"

The voice seemed to have given up on the retards. "God damn..." it said leaving to... wherever creepy voice-stalkers went.

"You could get h-" Mello began but was rudely interrupted by the idiots again.

"OMG PLZ LEEVE UR TALK 4 LATER!" the boss exclaimed. "WE HAV A PLAN TEW DEW!"

"...FUCK OFF ASS!" Tori yelled, wanting to hear what Mello had to say.

The Mafia boss pulled out his gun and aimed it at Tori.

"What the f-" She broke off, then pulled out her own gun "I have one too!"

"MELLO, IDC IF DIS IS UR GURLFRAN'. SHE NEEDZ TEW NO WHOS BOSS AROUND HERE!" He said, almost sounding normal. Almost.

"BOSS AROUND WHAT?" Tori asked still confused.

"...Can we just get on with the plan?" Mello offered, hoping to not waste anymore time.

"OMG LYKE FINE. I WILL LET UR GURLFRAN' OFF FOR NOW CUZ I'M IN A NICE MOOD!" the Mafia boss generously spared her life.

"MELLO! WHAT THE FUCK?" Tori asked.

"...What, Tori?"

"HE JUST POINTED A GUN AT ME!" Tori exclaimed.

"He didn't shoot."

The dude sighed heavily "OKAY OKAY, GET ON WIF DA PLAN PLZ!"

"WHAT PLAN? WHAT THE FUCK?" She wouldn't give up.

"SO IF WE ATTACK HEREZ, DA ENEMIES MIGHT GO HERE!" the dude said pointing to a map.

Homeslice pointed some more "OMGG DEN WE SHUD HAV BACKUP THERE!"

Tori stood there completely confused.

"Predictable." Mello said, along with some other smart stuff, which is too awesome to be typed out, and no! Not because I couldn't think of smart shit to say!

The Mafia boss stroked his chin "METHINKS THERE IS MUCH TRUTH IN MELLO'S WORDS."

Tori, wanting attention sighed heavily. "WELL, I'M GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE NOW." She successfully caught Mello's attention.

"What the fuck, Tori?"

"Yeah?"

"It's good enough that you're not being involved so far. Just wait for the snow to stop."

"OKEEEEYYYY THEN WHUT SHUD WE DO INSTEAD?" some dude asked.

Mello said some more smart shit that I was too bored to write down. I actually have a life you know, it's blue and it comes in extra small, small, me- I'll shut up.

Tori pulled out a gun and held it to her head as another suicide attempt. Mello slapped it out of her hand. "THE FUCK?"

"WHAT?" Tori asked as if what she was doing was completely normal.

"Stop trying to kill yourself!"

Homeslice coughed. "OKAY, YOU DRAMA LLAMAS, LOL!"

"Shut it." Mello snapped.

"BUT THERE IZ A GUARD HERE AND HE IZ LYKE RLY SMART OR SUMTHING!" the dude said.

Tori then dragged a chair to a ceiling light. Was she going to hang herself...?

...Yup. She pulled out a rope and tied it to the light an-

Mello grabbed her leg, pulling her down.

"Whaaaat?" she whined while the mafia members stared at the couple.

"Just stay put!"

Tori shrunk down in her chair.

"HOW ABOUT WE GET MELLO'S GURLFRAN' TO SEDUCE THE GUARD? CUZ SHES LYKE HOT TEW" Homeslice said.

"FUCK NO!" Mello said, I can't actually tell if he's unwilling to give her up or... Whatever, I'll shut up.

"BUT DAT CUD HELP OUR PLAN A LOT!" Homeslice frowned.

"BUT THERE ARE OTHER WAYS!" Mello yelled back.

"...Hot?" Tori repeated.

"YA WILL YOU HELPUS IN OUR PLAN PLZ?"

Tori paused and slightly turned her head "Uh... okay?"

"WE'RE ATTACKING ANOTHER MAFIA BASE!" Homeslice said stupidly.

"...Another?"

"YA."

"What is this...?"

Mello face palmed at Homeslice's stupidity.

"Whuts wut?"

"All of this...?"

"Uhhh we're a mafia organization? Y do u not know dat?" No, she didn't. Thanks a lot, retard.

"Mells..." Tori began.

No response.

"Mells...?"

"...What?"

"You kind of left the Mafia part out..."

"You shouldn't be involved."

"LETS EXECUTE OUR PLAN NOW!" the Mafia boss interrupted once more.

"Why not?" Tori asked.

"HEY GURL WE'LL EXPLAIN UR ROLE ON THE WAY!"

"It's dangerous." Mello answered.

"...I have a name." Tori said glancing at the boss.

The other members ditched them to the Mafia car.

"Hey Mells, why are you so worried about me, anyway?" she asked walking with him to the car.

No response again.

"...Mells?"

"You're inexperienced, so you can get killed?"

"...So?"

"...So I don't want to get blamed for your death...?" Nicely played, Mello. That's what every girl wants to hear. Tori froze in her steps, slightly shocked at his words.

"C'MON LET'S GO!" Homeslice said cheerfully breaking the tension.

"Yeah, 'cause me dying is far less important than you getting blamed." She walked ahead of him.

Homeslice pulled Tori ahead into the car. "LET'S GO!"

"Wha-" Tori started before being shoved into the van.

"OKI YOU ALL SET? MELLO CAN EXPLAIN DA PLAN TEW YOU."

Tori didn't really want to talk to Mello. I don't blame her; who would after that? ...That horse dude from Narnia? Yeah, I think so.

Mello was shoved into the van as well. Tori rubbed her side after being thrown into a huge gun that hung from the side of the van.

That creepy voice came back, yelling at Mello. "SAY SOMETHING!"

"So the plan… Basically, just distract a certain guard. The end." Mello explained.

"...How?"

"Well, they said to seduce, but you could try other ways."

"What the hell? Seduce? What the hell do they think I am? A slut?

"You don't have to if you don't want to?"

"...Okay."

The rest of the ride was drowning in awkward silence so I don't want to bore you with "..."s.

* * *

Homeslice opened the van doors and with a dramatic flourish of his arms, he said, "OMG LYKE WE'RE HERE!"

"...Okay?" Tori said awkwardly, hopping out of the van followed by Mello. She pulled out her gun and shot the air, and the mafia was confused.

"WHY YOU DO DAT?" the dude asked.

Tori didn't answer but bit a blood capsule, so blood dribbled from her mouth. I GET IT! Tori did that to attract attention from the other base so they would go to her so the retards would be able to go in! Gotcha!

Some enemies ran out of their base "OMGGG WHUT HAPPEN?"

Tori was face-down on the floor.

One enemy pointed to Tori's body "OMG LOOK A DEAD GIRL!"

Another enemy grinned with blackened teeth. "OMGG I LYKE NECROPHILIA!"

A fat one chortled, "DAT IZ NASTY DUDE LOLOLOL!"

The first enemy laughed along with them, then poked Tori.

He ran into the base and jumped to the other enemies. "OMG I FOUND A DEAD PERSON!"

More of them ran out to see, "OMG I WANNA SEE!"

The remaining ran out like retards as well. "OMG COOL!"

Some smart dude talked to them through a walkie-talkie they probably got out of a cereal box. "HEY, COME BACK HERE, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A TRAP!"

One smart person controlling a bunch of retards. Lovely. The stupid ones all "Aww'd" and went back to the base when- BOOOOOOM!

They all died. The building was a mass of flames and burning idiots. Tori jumped up to back away from the fire, swearing under her breath.

"OMG HEY GURL, WELL DONE!" the mafia boss said.

Tori beamed.

"YOU CAN JOIN US IF YOU WANT. U GOT DA POWAH!"

"...What?"

"WUD YOU LYKE TO JOIN DA MAFIA?"

"…I didn't even try. Um... I'll think about it? She said slowly.

Mello made his way over to Tori. "That was easier than I expected..."

Homeslice, of course, butted in. "OMG NOT RLLY. I WUZ LYKE CONFUZZLED!"

"...About what?" Mello asked.

"HOW TO SET UP A BOMB AT THE RIGHT PLACE, Y CANT I JUST THROW A GRENADE?"

Mello face-palmed once again.

* * *

"Welcome back!" Matt greeted cheerfully when they returned home. Of course, he was sucked into a video game.

"Thanks, Matt." Tori said.

"Eh? You went too?"

"...Yeah."

"Huh. Odd."

"Matt, go to your room." Mello said firmly.

"What? Why?" The gamer frowned.

"Just go."

The gamer left obediently, not wanting to start anything with Mello. Tori wasn't sure whether to leave for her room as well or...

"Tori."

"...Yeah?"

"Did the Mafia boss ask you to join?"

"...Yeah?" How the hell did Mello find out?

"Did you agree?"

"Not yet... I told him I would think about it…"

"You're telling him no."

"Why?"

"You shouldn't be involved with the Mafia."

"Why not?" Tori, being very strong willed and rebellious, wanted to join, of course.

"It's dangerous!"

"So...? I live for danger!"

"The mission we just went on happened to be attacking a bunch of retards." HA! I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!

"You're in it..."

"And?"

"Well, why do you care if I get hurt or not? Besides the fact that you don't want to get blamed for it!" Tori gave Mello a serious stare.

No answer.

"That's what I thought."

"It's not about getting hurt. You could _die_."

"So what? Why do you care? I'm dying every fucking second!"

While they carried on their serious conversation, the creepy voice decided to bother Matt.

"Wonder what they're doing..."

"No idea." Matt said, completely engrossed in his DS.

Now back to Tori and Mello.

"Anything else you would like to talk about?" Tori asked, frustrated.

"No."

"Alright then." She said stomping outside dramatically, sitting on the steps like a loner.

That loser Alex happened to be walking by, not bothering to remember Tori's name, he greeted her. He needs to get a life and see that Tori's heart is engaged elsewhere!

"Hey, Brit."

"...Hey." Tori replied not bothering to correct him."

"Sup? Why you out here in the cold?"

"No reason..." She said, slightly shivering.

"Want 'ta come over?" Alex offered her.

After a long pause she shrugged "...Um, okay."

Matt was stalking them through the window when he called to Mello. "PSST, MELLO. CODE RED!"

"What?"

"SOME DUDE IS TAKING TORI AWAY! I FORGOT HIS NAME!" he reported, watching Tori and the loser walk.

Mello immediately ran out having heard the news. "TORI?"

Tori paused slightly. "What the- Mello?" She chose to ignore Mello and continued walking.

"So you pissed at Girly or somethin'?

She shrugged "I guess.."

Mello finally caught up to the two. "...Where are you going?" he questioned.

"A place..." Tori said not bothering to punch the kid in the face.

A random kid ran up to Mello and threw a snowball at him "HI MISTER!"

Mello twitched. "FUCK OFF!" he yelled at the kid, becoming pissed off.

The kid ran away, screaming. "AHHH! MISTER IS SCARY!"

Tori continued walking, and Mello called her once more.

"What?"

"Come back now."

Tori paused. "...Why?"

Alex was becoming impatient; he's probably on his period.

"Come on Brit!" he said pointing to the snow-dusted road.

"That is not my name!" She said returning to her normal state of aggression.

Alex became distracted and saw a slut, and ran to her.

"..." Tori still began to walk away.

"Tori..." Mello began less angrily.

"What?" She snapped.

Mello's eyes softened, "Come back."

Tori looked away, and finally nodded. "Fine."

* * *

"...Anything happen?" Matt asked innocently as the couple returned.

"Shut up" was Tori's reply. She went into the room she and Mello shared, and slammed the door.

"...Good going, Mello!" Matt congratulated. "What did you do this time?"

"...I don't know."

"You don't know what you did? That makes it harder." Matt said, pressing more buttons.

Mello was twitching, then he sat down and sighed.

"_Mello has his monthly gift from Mother Nature,_" some voice butted in.

"Shut. Up."

"_And Tori isn't here to defend you! See what you did?"_

"..."

"What did you say to her before she got pissed off?" Matt asked Mello.

"I told her not to join the mafia."

"...Angrily?"

No answer from Mello, again.

"_Mello wouldn't tell Tori why he didn't want her getting killed or hurt!"_ Some voice tattle-taled. _"So now Tori thinks that Mello doesn't trust her!"_

"..."

"That's what happens when you lie," the most-likely-to-get-fat-if-he-doesn't-stop-playing-games dude said.

"Then what the hell do you expect me to say? 'OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU, DON'T DIE!'?"

Both Matt and the voice chorused a "yes".

"..." Mello didn't say anything for a while. "...HELL NO!"

"_But you do, right?_" The voice asked.

"...What?"

"_You don't want her getting hurt. Why?"_ it questioned. "_And I know it's not because you don't want to be blamed for it!"_

"...Because."

The mysterious stalker voice sighed, seeing that it won't be able to get shit from stubborn Mello. "I'll go, and come back. You can tell your Matty!" it said, 'poofing'.

"That's not a valid reason." Mello said not realizing the voice left.

"HEY PERSON, WHERE DID YOU DISAPPEAR TO?" he yelled at nothing.

"Just because I don't want someone to die doesn't mean I have feelings for them!" Mello continued.

"Then why don't you want her to die?" the wall somehow asked.

"She's a friend! It's natural that people wouldn't want their friends to die!"

"Just because I don't want Matt to be killed either doesn't mean that I love him." Mello scoffed.

"...LOLOLOLOLOL." Matt blurted out.

"What?"

"LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!"

"..."

"But Tori is different! You just met her!" the wall said.

While the two- I mean three were having a serious conversation, Tori was escaping from the window. I think she's secretly a ninja.

"Pssst. Tori is escaping!" The wall reported. How the hell did it find out? Whatever.

"...WHAT THE FUCK!" Mello began running after the fleeing secret ninja girl.

Tori was running to the chocolate shop, and Mello trailing her. "STOP RUNNING!"

She ran into an alley and a stupid fence got in her way. "DEAD END LOLOL U FAIL!" the alley shrieked, I lied. It didn't.

Mello began slowing down, but the girl hopped the fence and ran into the chocolate shop, and hid in the girl's bathroom.

Mello waited like a retard, not realizing that Tori escaped from the window in the bathroom.

"Huh? Tori? Where's Mells?" Matt asked when she got home.

"Don't know, don't care." She replied storming into the room once again.

"...Okay then." Matt shrugged to himself and continued playing on his DS.

Mello finally realized that Tori was gone, and went home.

"What was that for, Tori?"

A random door appeared and sucked Tori into some place...MAYBE THEY WANT HER FOR NINJA TRAINING OR SOMETHING! That would be SO freaking cool!

Tori rubbed her side having landed on it. She looked around and her eyes caught a sign. "...Wammy's?" she read.

Some random children crowded around her, pointing and whispering. How rude. Some kid must have thought it was fun to die, and threw a ball at Tori's head.

Tori gave the kid that threw it a death glare, and threw it back so hard it left a ball mark in the poor kid's face.

Then noticing that kids were whispering about her, she snapped at them "STOP WHISPERING ABOUT ME!"

The children ran away with a fit of giggles, and Tori ran over to them and pushed them over.

A girl ran up to Tori and pulled on her sleeve, she was mute.

"...What?"

The girl gestured Tori to follow her, and so she did.

She pointed at a door, and it read "MELLO'S ROOM, KEEP OUT."

The little girl left and Tori opened the door and looked around. The room was almost empty.

Tori walked around "...I wonder if I can find his real name here..." she wondered aloud. Her foot caught a book that almost tripped her; she bent down and picked it up.

"Mihael Keehl" the name was inside the book. Tori knew that was his real name. YAY, IT'S TIME TO PARTTAAYYY!

The mysterious door came back and threw Tori at Mello, she quickly backed away and hid the book behind her.

"What the hell was that?" Mello asked.

Tori shrugged "No idea."

"You suddenly disappeared."

"I know...?" Well duh.

"So where did you go?"

Tori ignored the question. "...I have a secret."

"...Then why are you telling me?"

She shrugged "'Cause I want to..." after a small pause, she added in a whisper. "Mihael Keehl..."

Mello's eyes widened "How did you-?"

"What?"

"Who told you?"

"Nobody."

Mello was having a hard time believing her. "Then how did you find out...?"

Tori pulled out the book she was hiding. Mello blinked like Near, except it looked sexier on him.

"I think that's yours..."

After not receiving a reply she waved her hand in Mello's face. "Mells...?"

Mello took the book and blinked some more. "...Thank you."

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! How cute! ...I'm sorry, I talk too much. Back to the story!

"Um...you're welcome..." Tori was surprised at his response.

Matt just had to ruin the moment and ran into the room "WHAT DID I MISS?" With a toothy grin.

"...Nothing."

The gamer frowned "That's... boring..."

Tori nodded. "Yup."

Disappointed, the gamer returned to his DS.

"...Mells?" Tori said uncertainly.

"Yeah?"

"...Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure." He says that way too often. Yeah sure, yeah sure, yeah sure, yeah su- Shut up. I'm sorry!

"Does anyone else know?" asked the girl.

"...Not that I know of."

Tori took the liberty of repeating his name over and over. "Mihael Mihael Mihael Mihael!"

"Stop saying it." Mello gave her a sideways glance.

"...Sorry." she apologized. "I wonder if we could find Matt's name!" she suddenly said, standing up; her eyes bouncing with the excitement of a loud bratty five year old, only she wasn't one.

"Probably not. He can hack systems to clear his real name."

"But I found yours... I bet I can find Matt's name too!" She said reluctant to give up her epic quest for Matt's name.

"Maybe...?"

"His birthday is tomorrow, isn't it?" She asked. I'm not exactly sure how she found out; then again she might be a ninja!

"Yeah."

She jumped back to the topic they were discussing before "Does Matt know his real name?"

"Of course." As if on cue, the magical door appeared out of thin air and sucked them both in and out to Mello's former room.

* * *

The first thing Mello noticed was the wall, written in sharpie, was 'TORI WAS HERE!'.

Tori nervously giggled "...Hehehe?"

After seeing Mello's stare, she dropped the giggles. "What?"

"That's vandalising."

Tori didn't know how to respond to that, so she changed the topic. "...Can we just find the name?"

"Why do you want to know his real name anyway?"

"I just do." The teenage girl wasn't sure why she wanted to know either.

"That was very informative." The other teenager said sarcastically.

Those nosy kids from earlier barged into Mello's room with their friends, all armed with balls. "HEY GIRL!" They attacked Tori with balls. Don't take it the wrong way.

Tori sighed heavily "HOLY FUCK." Her hatred for children overpowered her ability to stay calm, and attacked all the kids with balls so they fell to the ground uselessly.

"Now where is that damn name?" Tori asked the air, flustered.

"How would I know?

"Look with me!" Tori was tearing through whatever was left.

"It's pointless effort..." Mello said, however he glanced around the room and looked at the bathroom door.

"TORI USED THE BATHROOM HERE!" was written on it in a sparkly pink sharpie mini. Those things are epic, I tell you.

No comment.

Tori pulled out a paper and blew the dust off. "I FOUND SOMETHING!"

"What is it?" Mello asked looking at it.

"It's your test!"

Mello grabbed it and yelled what sounded like Narnian and ate it. That's right, he ate it. "Now you can never get it! BWUAHAHAH!"

Tori gave him a "WHAT THE FUCK?" look and searched some more, on her fours.

The green-eyed girl pulled out a book and opened it. "Hey Mells, I found a book!" She scanned the book with her laser beams. "Who is Mail?"

"No idea?" Mello didn't recognize the name.

"Mail Jeevas?"

"Never heard of him."

"It's in your room though."

"...Why?" How the hell was Tori supposed to know? It's not her room.

Tori tucked the book under her arm and glanced around "...How do we get back?"

"I don't know? We would have to go back by plane unless the portal suddenly appears again."

Tori sighed "Shit, we're stuck here. I didn't bring my wallet so I can't really buy a ticket?"

The portal door appeared to them again, greeting them with a pedo-like "HAY GUYZ! I'M OUT OF ORDER. PLZ GTFO KTHXBAI!"

The two muttered a "Damn..." and Tori pointed to the door. "I guess we're gonna have to wait until it gets fixed?"

A random bird flew by and landed on the window leaving two plane tickets on it "M GUNA DROP THESE TICKETS TEW UR HOME TEH WINDOW OKIE?" it chirped before flying away, then getting hit by a flying ball.

Tori snatched the tickets before the evil wind could steal them away. "So...where's the airport?"

* * *

Welcome to Heathrow Airport.

"Gate 12, please board your flight to Mello's place, kthxbai." The speakers announced. The two made their way to the gate and sat down in some gangster first-class seats. The seats were lined up against the wall so the other side faced the opposite side.

"Welcome on board the British Airways, blahblahblah!" the flight attendant lady droned on.

To Tori's right was Mello, and to her left was a fatass. A bunch of sluts sat in the seat next to Mello.

The fatass lifted the arm rest with all the energy he had for the day, and his fat overflowed onto Tori's seat. She winced and inched closer to Mello.

The sluts winked their bright blue eye shadowed lids at Mello, wiggling their fingers as a wave. "LOLHAY BLONDIE!"

Mello didn't answer them, he twitched though.

The fatass waved over a flight attendant, and his arm fat jiggled in Tori's face. It smelled of cheese puffs and the cheap hot sauce from Taco Bell.

Tori flinched and winced some more. "EWWWWWW!"

"Isn't this supposed to be first class...?" Mello wondered out loud.

The fatass leaned against Tori for support, and Tori cried for help while she drowned in fat and skin.

Mello, as always, saved Tori from dying in fatass flubber. Unfortunately once Tori stood up the fatass took up both seats.

"Where the hell do I sit now?"

The sluts poked at Mello's arm "SO YAAA WHERE U GOIN'?"

"...Why do you want to know?"

They ignored that question and shrieked some more slut-talk. "LOLZZZ SOOOO U HEA WIT SUM1 SPECHUL?"

Mello ignored the sluts and looked away. The seats were mocking seat-less Tori. "WE R ALL FULL HAHA U FAIL!"

The flight attendant's voice sounded "WE R TAKING OFF PLX SIT OR ELSE U WILL DIE!"

Panic filled Tori when she swore "HOLY SHIT!"

Mello grabbed Tori's wrist and pulled her over and made her sit on his lap.

They'll be like that for about seven hours, which sucks for them.

The sluts prodded Mello with their fake nailed fingers. "OMGZ Y R U CHEATING ON ME BLONDIE?" they frowned at him, leaving cracks in their diarrhea medicine pink lipstick.

"I never agreed to go out with you." Mello said giving them a look.

"YA U DID!"

"And you don't even know my name..." Mello said, while Tori was shooting the sluts with her death beams.

"YA I DO!" the sluts lied.

"Then what is it?"

They had to think about it for a while before choosing the least likely name possible. "UUUHH TOM!"

"No it's not."

"YA IT IS!" they argued.

"Whatever. Shut up."

"I LUV U BF!"

Ignored.

The pilot's voice came over the intercom "OMGZ TEH PLANE IS CRASHING PLZ GET A RAFT AND WAIT UNTIL U REACH LAND KTHX!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Tori jumped up and shoved everyone out of her way to grab a raft and pull the tab to blow it up.

"OMGZ NO MORE RAFTZ BOO HOO U ALL DIE!" the pilot said before jumping out of the plane.

Tori grabbed Mello's wrist and they jumped onto the raft and into the water, along with those annoying sluts that invited themselves. If you're wondering, the fat dude already drowned.

Mello checked his mobile phone for signal. "...Shit, no connection." Obviously not.

The sluts had snuggled up to Mello, and Tori brought out the gun she was hiding behind her back, and shot the two sluts and dropped them in the water. Blood was everywhere, and surprisingly it was sparkly and smelled of Paris Hilton's new perfume.

"The bodies would float. Should've tied some sort of rock." Mello pointed out. Where the hell would they find a rock?

Tori shrugged "...Oh well."

Rain started to pour down on the pour victims and Tori shivered.

"Great, just freaking great..." Mello complained.

Waves splashed over their raft and Tori screamed with every one of them.

She lifted a flap in the raft to reveal an emergency kit, complete with tarp, a blanket, food, water, a first aid kit, a gun, a flashlight, and animal poison.

Tori hid under the tarp to protect her from the evil waves.

She was still cold, and complained some more "It's cooollllddd!"

"Wrap the blanket around you?"

"What about you?" She asked, concerned for Mello.

"I'm fine."

While the two bobbed along the waves in the raft, Near randomly appeared. "Hello, Mello. Hello, Tori."

Tori poked her head out, and Mello nearly fell into the threatening waves. "SHIT, NEAR! WHAT THE FUCK?"

"What the hell?" Tori stared at the boy that probably showered in bleach.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?" Mello demanded.

"I see the two of you are in a catastrophe." The albino was getting doused with salty sea water.

"Yeah, 'cause of your presence." Mello snarled at him.

The wind took the blanket Tori was (not) so warm in, and threw it into the sea.

"FUCK!" she swore her teeth chattering.

Near happened to have a spare blanket and gave it to Tori. Mello glared at him threateningly.

"Thanks Near!" She said curling up in the blanket once more.

Near noticed Mello's glares and death beams. "What, Mello?"

"What the fuck do you want?" The older male asked.

"Nothing in particular."

Tori complained some more, since the blanket was soaked to the tip with rain water. "I'm cold!" she repeated inching closer to Mello.

The portal door had a large Hello Kitty band aid plastered over it when it appeared. "I WORK NAO!" It sucked Tori and Mello in, and out at the apartment leaving Near to die in the raft.

* * *

"Where the hell did you guys go?" Matt asked, not lifting his eyes from playing Mario Kart on his DS.

"Wammy's. Hey Matt, do you know anyone named Mail Jeevas?" Tori asked waving the book around.

"No, why?"

"Oh, because I found this book and stuff..."

"Where did you find it?" he asked taking some time off the game to look at the book, which he recognized.

"Mello's old room."

"You went there?"

Tori nodded. "Yup."

"That explains your sudden disappearance."

Then Tori thought about it for a moment. If Matt was Mello's former roommate, and he actually stopped playing to look at the book... that would mean that Matt's Mail, right?

"You're... you're Mail!" Tori pointed at Matt.

"If I was, I'd know?" Matt was mindfucking with them.

"Matt... Don't fuck with my mind!"

"Okay? You're just confusing yourself though."

Tori hid a mischievous grin "Then if it isn't you...I guess I'll go around door to door asking for the owner of the book!" Tori said getting up.

"...That's would be hurting the owner's privacy."

"So? I bet the owner wants it back." She said walking to the door.

"Besides, since you found it at Wammy's, it was probably there for a long time. They probably gave up on it already. Right, Mells?"

"I guess..." the blondie said, trying to stay out of it.

By this time, Tori already gave up trying to get the truth out of Matt so she walked outside and cupped her hands around her mouth as an intercom thingy.

"HEY WORLD! DID ANYONE LOSE A BOOK?"

A little girl made her way to Tori and raised her hand "I LOST MY CHARLOTTE'S WEB BOOK, DO U HAV IT?" along with a childish frown, which Tori wanted to punch.

"No? Want this book?" she showed the little girl the book.

"OOKI WHUT BOOK IZ IT?"

Tori shrugged. "Not sure, I haven't read it yet."

Tori was handing the book over, and the little girl was about to take it when Matt burst through the door and snatched the book, then ran back inside.

Tori walked back inside and pointed to the book. "Explain yourself, Mail."

"The book cover said "Guide to All Games 2005", so I wanted it."

Tori crossed her arms. "No, it didn't."

"Yes it did!"

"Show me, then."

Matt shoved the book in her face, in messy handwriting was "GULDE TO 4II GAME5 200S".

Tori grabbed the book and ran outside and shoved it at a random kid's face.

"Whuh?" the kid was confused, they always are.

"Want this book?"

"NO, I DONT READ!" the kid said crossing his tiny twistable arms.

Matt ran back outside and snatched the book "IT'S MINE NOW!" he said running, and shoved the book down his shirt.

Tori tackled Matt into the snow and they fought over the book.

"OW. HEY!" Matt tried shoving Tori off but once she's on fire, she'll burn the living shit out of you.

"LET GO OF IT!" she yelled trying to pry the book from him.

"NO!"

"BEFORE I SCREAM YOUR NAME!" she threatened.

"That's what she said!" Matt couldn't push away his cockiness, even at a time like this.

"MAI..." she began to yell.

"STOP BEING MEAN!"

"MAIL..."

Matt covered her mouth so she wouldn't reveal more, but she bit hard.

Matt pulled his hand back "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

Tori grinned "So it is your name!"

"No it isn't!"

"Then why do you care if I scream it or not?" she began to yell his name again.

"BECAUSE PEOPLE WOULD GIVE ME WEIRD LOOKS!"

Just as Matt predicted, people stared at the two.

"SEE?" He pointed out.

The people whispered to each other, pointing. "Weird couple..."

Tori bared her teeth at the people "WE AREN'T A FUCKING COUPLE!"

The people backed away. "Wow, that girl's temperamental!"

Tori began to say his name once more. "MAIL JE-"

"FINE FINE, IT'S MY NAME!" Matt gave up.

Tori skipped back inside with a grin of triumph on her face, while Matt shook the snow off muttering.

The clock caught their attention when it yelled at them "LOLZ ITZ NOW MIDNIGHT! IT'S FEBRUARY FIRST YEY!"

"Matt!" Tori yelled. Matt was just walking back inside.

"Happy eighteenth birthday!" She said with a smile.

Instead of thanking her, he asked "How did you know?"

Tori wasn't exactly sure herself, after some time she shrugged "Um..I just did."

"...Huh."

Awkward silence...

"So yeah, what do you want to do for your birthday?" She asked, but then regretted it.

"...ARCADE!" Matt said obviously, you'd think he want to do something else since he goes there all the time. I guess not.

"...Alright, we'll go tomorrow."

"Damn..." Matt really wanted to go now, if he could find an arcade that was open at midnight.


End file.
